Hi everyone, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted on here, but this whole COVID situation has spiked my anxiety to an uncontrollable level.
3 weeks ago, I developed a headache that lasted for 3 days. Along with the headache, I experienced body aches, fatigue, chills, intense stomach pains, and diarrhea. Then I developed a sore throat that felt unlike any sore throat I’ve ever had. It felt swollen and as if something was stuck, mixed with the sensation of swallowing glass. A few days later, the sensation moved to my chest. It was very frightening, as my chest felt like it was on fire and it felt excrutiatingly painful to breathe. I also experienced shortness of breath, a dry cough and my lungs felt tired.
At this point I was really scared, so I decided to go to the emergency room. The doctor told me she had a “gut feeling that its just anxiety”, and refused to do any tests on me, despite me asking for an x ray. I went home and my chest pain and difficulty breathing worsened.
The next day, I went back to the emergency room as my lungs were on fire and I was gasping for air. This time it was a different doctor who took my symptoms seriously and did testing. He performed a chest x-ray, and came back to tell me I have PNEUMONIA! He also did a covid testing swab, suspecting that’s what may have caused the pneumonia. He sent me home with antibiotics.
The next day, my symptoms continued to get progressively worse and I felt that I could not breathe on my own. I went back to the emergency room for a third time, where I was told that the radiologist reviewed my x ray more closely, and confirmed that my lungs are in fact clear and I do NOT have pneumonia. The doctor suspected covid, as I still awaited the result of my swab.
The next couple days were rough. It was the scariest thing I had ever experienced and I was afraid to go to sleep in fear of suffocating and not waking up. I called the ambulance a few times in the span of a couple days.
I slowly began to improve ever so slightly, but still had alot of trouble breathing. I returned to the emergency room again, where I was told my covid swab came back negative (hooray!), BUT the doctor said that 30% of swabs come back as “false negatives” and he believed mine was one of them. Considering I have a newborn at home with a heart condition, the doctor agreed to re-swab me for covid, and perform another chest x ray. This is 2 and a half weeks into feeling very unwell. He warns that the swab may come back as a false negative again because I had been ill for so long already and may be at the “tail end” of the illness. Fastforward a day, the swab did in fact come back NEGATIVE again, and my chest x ray was perfectly clear.
It has now been 3 weeks since I started feeling unwell. I am deeply traumatized by this whole experience. I feel slightly better each day, but still no where near 100%. Everytime I stand up, I see stars, my ears ring, and I feel very dizzy to the point of almost fainting. I am still having shortness of breath and find it difficult to eat.
I am utterly confused as to what is wrong with me and the uncertainty is absolutely terrifying. I just gave birth 6 weeks ago, and am suffering from postpartum anxiety/depression. I started taking sertraline (which I’ve taken in the past) 2 weeks ago. I wonder if the side effects have made everything worse? I also have severe anxiety to begin with, and I’ve been having several panic attacks daily. Initially, my loved ones were trying to convince me that all of the symptoms were in my head and that there was nothing wrong with me, until I went to the doctor and was told I had pneumonia. Also, why would one doctor see pneumonia in my chest x ray, but then the next one (plus 2 radiologists) said my lungs were clear?
I am still feeling awful and I have no idea what to believe anymore. Did I have COVID, considering all my symptoms line up with it and the doctors think I do? What are the odds, considering I yeilded 2 negative test swabs? Also I live with 5 people, none of them are showing ANY symptoms at all and its been 3 weeks since I fell ill. How is it possible that I’m the ONLY one to be symptomatic when I’ve been in close contact with all of them?
I begin to wonder if the whole thing was in my head and if I’m crazy. I’ve suffered with severe health anxiety/hypochondria in the past, and I am going through a really tough time right now. Between having a baby diagnosed with a heart condition, having postpartum anxiety/depression, starting antidepressants, and freaking out about the whole COVID thing.
The thing is, why would I be coughing and having chills? My gut tells me this wasn’t just anxiety, but anxiety is worsening whatever I DO have.
I am so afraid that I have COVID, and that I am going to end up intubated or dead. I monitor my symptoms 24/7 and I feel like I’m dying. I cry everyday as the symptoms never end and I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle of never ending suffering. I am 21 years old and I just want to enjoy my newborn baby and be healthy and happy. Instead, I am panicking several times a day, feel unable to breathe and winded all the time, coughing, headaches, dizzy, exhausted, and throat pain. I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I am so lost and scared. I also don’t want to return to the emergency room in fear of contracting COVID if I don’t in fact have it yet. I can’t take this anymore. 
Sleep/General/Health Anxiety 
Health anxiety will be the death of me...
Anxiety and health anxiety symptoms 
