What Do I Do?

[PandaPerson]

Of all the things I expected to finally push me to post here, I didn't expect it to be something like this.

So, I have a friend (Friend A) who I have known for years. We both have been diagnosed with social anxiety. Somehow she talked both herself and I into going to a party. Another friend (Friend B) is much ore extroverted and was happy that we were finally going to an event like that. However, she was disappointed that A and I spent much of the time we were there together and hiding away from the crowds. We told her multiple times that we had anxiety. The next day, she coincidentally finally started watching a show that A and I had wanted her to watch for a while. One of the main characters has anxiety. She started telling us about how much she related to him, but in a weird textbook kind of way (I don't know how to explain, but it didn't feel genuine, more like repeating something you'd heard). Then she began texting strangely. She was using a lot of emojis (I've texted her for years, never happened before) and when we asked about it she said that had OCD. She explained it strangely, but to me it sounded more like she was just a perfectionist. I asked if she had been diagnosed or if she took meds and she said she was diagnosed by her mom (a nurse) and it was minor enough that she didn't need meds.

At this A and I are rather confused and somewhat upset. It didn't really seem like OCD (I really don't mean to be insensitive), and her mom isn't a therapist or a psychiatrist, so I don't think she can diagnose mental disorders. As we see it there are three potential things happening:

1) B noticed that friend A and I are very close, and felt left out. She heard mentions of our anxiety and figured that the best way to get closer would be to have an anxiety disorder. Maybe she thought backing up the lie with her mom being a nurse would help? In this scenario I would like to get her to realize that anxiety is not some 'cool club' and that pretending to have it isn't cool.

2) B doesn't have OCD but legitimately thinks she does. She has mistaken a perfectionist nature for OCD and thinks her mom is qualified as a medical professional that can actually diagnose something like that. In this scenario I would want to have her realize that she doesn't have OCD because she thinks she has something that she doesn't and that doesn't seem good.

3) B legitimately has OCD and is very bad at explaining things. If this is the case I would want her to get properly diagnosed.

A and I really don't know what to do or how to approach this conversation. Neither of us are good at confrontation, and don't want to offend her. Any tips? (Also, I'm sorry for the length, I really didn't mean for this to get so long. I'm sorry)

[destinymichelle]

I’m definitely not trying to be insensitive, but the fact that she just suddenly wants to tell you both that she has OCD seems a little odd. Maybe, she felt comfortable enough to finally speak up, but these things just don’t seem to add up.

1- She just now tells you guys this after seeing how close you and A are over the anxiety.

2- She says she doesn’t need meds and that her mother diagnosed her.

With her mother being a nurse, I’m sure she’s seen enough to know that maybe her daughter happens to have OCD, but she should also know by being a nurse that she can’t diagnose her child with OCD. Maybe, they talked about it and her mom said, “Maybe you have OCD.” And your friend ran off with that information taking it serious.

Honestly, I hate to sound rude... but it just seems too coincidental.

My ex best friend started claiming that she had anxiety after dealing with me for so long. My mother always tried to do the best for me with my anxiety, and I think she seen that and wanted the attention thinking that I was just so happy about having anxiety.

What I think you two should do is make a group chat or meet up in person and talk about it. Approach her calmly and tell her that if she’s telling the truth, that you guys are there for her and that everything will b okay, but if she’s lying then she’s not being a very good friend because 1, she’s lying and 2, she’s being insensitive. It’s not fun or cool to lie about having a mental disorder (if that’s the case) anyways, I hope that you guys get it figured out and I’m sorry that you and your friend are having a hard time!! Best of luck ❤️