Barely in existence due to anxiety and depression. So so scared it’s nearly unbearable.

[Gidget1]

Desperate.

I am so filled with fear I can’t function. I’m alone except for my son who’s had enough. I don’t have any family I can count on; even if I did they’re far away. I lost all friends due to Lupus, caring for my mom until she died, etc. One really finds out who’s who when there’s a crisis. I just need some human interaction, even if it’s on-line. I’m so lonely I don’t care if I live. Lupus prevents me from going out even if I wanted to. I have no desire to do anything but sleep.

I just need ONE friend.

Help, please.

[Agora1]

Hi Gidget1, How about many friends from this forum? There are many

who feel the loneliness and fear of anxiety along with a chronic disease.

Sometimes by sharing our journey, it can help lighten the burden a little.

Anytime you need to talk someone is always here to answer. xx

[Gidget1 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much. Once I feel plugged in here, I’m sure it will help.💕

[Hidden]

Your not alone here .. I always pop in and out with one thing and another .. we here throughout the night .. and if for some reason we get to fall asleep ha not with my insomnia lol .. will always pop in on waking in the morning .. your not alone ... 🍀

[Gidget1 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. The mornings are always the worst knowing that I have to face another day. I’ll check in every a.m. Hopefully that will help 💕

[CatIsMyCopilot in reply to Gidget1]

Oof, my mornings are always worse too.

[Hollick in reply to CatIsMyCopilot]

Mine too, its the worst time of day, morning, facing another day feeling as bad you do, wondering if it will ever end? The anxiety, loneliness, whatever..

[Brightfuture22]

Hi Gidget,

I am happy to be one of the many on here who will be your friend! Feel free to message me anytime! I hope that you find comfort and peace soon!

💜Ash

[Gidget1 in reply to Brightfuture22]

Thank you.💕

[Want2BHappy3]

Sorry for what you've going through, how old is your son? You have plenty of friends here to whom you can write too. I know it's not the same, but we Care. Im lonely also, tons of family, few friends. Yet there's no one I can count on. 2 adult daughters live with me but have chosen to isolate me cause they've had enough also. I have anxiety, depression, diabetes and was told I'm going Blind due to macular Degeneration, luckily I guess Macular Degeneration is a slow progressive decease. I haven't told my kids that yet, I'm sure they'll think oh God we'll have to take care of Her? I say that because my oldest daughter had already complained that if anything happens to me she'd have to take care of what I need? Have you looked into a support group for people with Lupus? Are you in counseling?

[Gidget1 in reply to Want2BHappy3]

Hi, my son is 30. He’s suffering from depression but won’t admit it. He isolates. He used to be on antidepressants but tapered off and said he doesn’t feel any different, but he hasn’t smiled since. I fear for his future. We’re all we’ve got. It’s terrifying. We’ve both done counseling and I’ve done biofeedback, as well. Nothing has helped except Xanax (for me). I’ve just about given up on having peace, but I can’t imagine living like this for years & years. I’m afraid that I’ll crack & then we’ll both be all alone. Thank you for writing back. It’s helped. Maybe if I do this every morning I’ll feel better. I even tried an onion yesterday to see if I could cry because I always feel better after crying, but it didn’t work ☹️, I’m so frozen emotionally. I hope you have some serenity today. 💕

[Hidden in reply to Gidget1]

I try to cry .. it releases stress ... but I find it hard to .... it’s more like and inner cry ...

[JonahH]

As someone who suffers from OCD and depression I sympathise. The mornings are the worst, having to face another day, but as the day goes on it does get better. Knowing there are so many people out there feeling the same ( more than we think probably ) does help.

[Gidget1 in reply to JonahH]

I wonder if the world has always been like this & no one ever talked about

it?

[JonahH in reply to Gidget1]

I think you're right...people hide their feelings and moods and put a brave face on it, but no-one's life is perfect and we don't know what is going on in other people's minds. No one can have a perfect, balanced mind all the time and everyone is flawed to some extent - it's just not always obvious. Some of us are more sensitive, deep-thinkers than others, so things get to us more and we take on the problems of everyday life and dwell on them and magnify them to be greater than they actually are. Having something to take your mind of it helps like music, TV, reading.. anything to get absorbed in as we all need an emotional outlet.

[AngloBubbly in reply to JonahH]

Hi Jonah H. I'm the same. I go from hell to somewhere near earth most days. It is good to know we aren't alone.

[Saphire87]

Hi Gidget1,

I know how you feel with the loneliness. I barely leave the house because of chronic insomnia and panic attacks. I wasn't doing too bad when I was on Trazadone but since I stopped it and have started taking Sertraline I have lost my job and cant even drive or go to the gym. I have also just come out of a long term relationship with a controlling partner but kept him around because I didn't want to be alone. I'm really lonely and I can go for days without seeing or speaking to anybody. I am so glad I found this website because there are so many nice people who are going through the same things.

[Cicinoodle]

Try hard to remember there is nothing to fear, but fear itself.

99 percent of the things we worry and fear over never happen.

There are many things to be thankful for, try to see those things today and be positive around your boy, he needs you just as you need him

to come out of the darkness together.

Prayers for strength and happiness.

[Dogdoo]

I'm sorry you are feeling so alone.

I can relate.

I pop in here regularly. Even if i don't ebgage, it helps to read posts of our shared experience.

I recently told a friend who recently got sober, "I hate to break it to you but life can boring and hard so be prepared".

I defintely feel most people put on a facade to hide their issues from the world for fear of looking weak, being judged, etc.

If the world was more understanding and kind, people would feel more comfortable sharing how they feel.

Know you are not alone on the road.

A side note; xanax can cause depression (great for anxiety though) so i wonder if it is contributing to your current situation.

[Ml601]

Hey I hope your feeling a little better. I totally relate with your first sentence "I am so filled with fear I can’t function" that is exactly how I fear I've let my fears and anxietys take over my life. If you ever need to talk I am here.

[AngloBubbly]

Hi Gidget1. I can relate. I also am living with unbearable anxiety and depression. I feel like every day I wake up on the edge of a precipice. Like a fish out of water. It's so so hard. I understand. Are you getting any professional help? Any meds?

[lovetodance2018]

Hi Gidget1, I am so glad you reached out on this forum. Know you are not alone. We all understand the struggles of life. Fear can really pull us down and hold us back from feeling good about ourselves. I am sorry you are struggling with Lupus. My mother had Lupus. She struggled but was a strong woman and never let her Lupus hold her back from doing the things she wanted. Do you take medication for the Lupus and anxiety? Have you done any counseling? Through the right support we can learn the tools to help us cope with our struggles. Also, churches have some great support groups. Here is a helpful article about fear and how it can debilitate us, but it doesn't have to be that way. bit.ly/2HkRecp

I am always happy to talk and you do have friends here who want to love, encourage, and support you. My prayers are with you. Also, I know I am never alone, as I know the Lord is with me and He gives me the strength I need, even during the toughest times in my life.

Hugs and Blessings.

[lovetodance2018]

Hi Gidget1, Just checking to see how you are feeling this week. My prayers have been with you.