Feel dreadful today

[Laniben]

After doing relatively ok last night was awful, felt really weak and tired eRly evening, when j went to bed I dozed for about just under an hour woke up and that was that til around 4-6am now all I’ve been doing is gagging and got doctors at half 9, how I’m going to make it i don’t know , that’s how bad I feel this morning. For the first time I in a while when My daughter drops me home I might have to go back to bed, and I have always tried my best not to do that. The nausea and gagging isn’t good so far and is making my stomach hurt ☹️

[Justabuzz]

I'm sorry to here your having a really bad time but when I get that bad with nausia I drink plenty of water I cant take medication for nausia because I take a beta blocker for blood pressure so i put head phones on and go for a walk or just lusten to music to take my mind off it I hope this helps

And I hope you feel better soon

[Laniben in reply to Justabuzz]

Thank you.

yes I do drink plenty of water, just feeling very weak this morning so it was an effort even to get dressed today. And Yes the nausea and gagging/dry heaving wears me out on top of it all, it’s horrible.

[Jaxs050783]

Why don’t you have a telephone conversation with your doctor? Hope it improves later.

[Laniben in reply to Jaxs050783]

Thank you, so do I.

My surgery isn’t brilliant with that unfortunately and I need a further prescription which she can give me as well. My daughters picking me up about 9.20 so I can come home after and see if I can get some sleep.

[Kkimm]

Hi Sam

I am really sorry to hear that. Did you take Zoplicone last night?

It sounds really awful for you, the gagging sounds horrible, but does sound as if the cause is lack of sleep so hopefully that can be remedied.

I do understand if you are worried about taking Z too often. That is sensible and a realistic worry as they can be very addictive I understand. However as you know I took them for 3 months and was absolutely fine. The key seems to be never to exceed the dose even if you do not sleep. You could maybe talk it through with your doctor this morning. I think you are fine to go back to bed and get a couple of hours more sleep in the morning only then try and do something more in the afternoon and perhaps go to bed later than usual unless you know you are really tired.

Sorry I was not in touch yesterday, I had a very full on day. It was my singing group in the morning then cinema in the afternoon. I saw Rocket Man , about Elton John's life, it was brilliant. I went on my own as I often do.

I am picking up Honey the yellow Labrador this morning and am minding her for 4 days do that should be fun.

Although I have had a busy few days I have had a few ups and downs which I will tell you about in another email later.

Really hope you str

[Laniben in reply to Kkimm]

That’s ok Kim, you’ve been busy 😊 I was so tired last night I didn’t think I needed it and by the time I realised it wasn’t happening it must have been after 1am and I knew I had to get up this morning, but is it ok to take one every night for a while? yes you can message me anytime.

Sam x

[Kkimm in reply to Laniben]

I certainly found it was fine for me as long as I stuck to the good bedtime routine, not sleeping in the day, making sure I was relaxed and tired before I went to bed and not likely to be woken as far as possible.

I have Honey as she is called not Poppy who was another lab I used to have Lol. She has had a little walk and a bone and is asleep on the floor as I write this.

All the best

Kim

[Jaxs050783 in reply to Laniben]

How did the appointment go?

[Laniben in reply to Jaxs050783]

Not too well which didn’t help how I felt already. So was upset when I came home, doctor said I must keep the appointment with therapist tomorrow and I mustn’t talk about any of it in between which I kind of understand but there’s ways of saying things as I was already emotional, trying to explain exactly how the physical symptoms made me feel was pointless, I said how exhausting it was and she just said well yes I expect it is but.....and you all know the rest. My daughter is helping by taking me to appointments but she isnt understanding which I do get but she doesn’t want me to talk about it anymore. The doc said think about how it’s affecting your family as well, doesn’t she think I know that. I say yes I know only too well but I’m a part of this too how do you think it’s affecting me mentally and physically. I wouldn’t wish this on Anyone not even my worst enemy, not that I have any, but you know what I mean. She’s now given me circadin, says to take it every night. I had it once before but I didn’t know I could take it each night then and has given me enough until

Next appointment.

Sorry for the lengthy reply

[Kkimm in reply to Laniben]

Hi Sam

Really sorry to hear what a bad time you had at the doctor's. Even when they have had anxiety as yours says she had they are not always sympathetic. Mine too has had anxiety and he is great however. He is always overbooked and running really late because he is sympathetic and listens as well as having reasonable knowledge of anxiety and depression. Dr

I really hope you get on OK with Mind tomorrow. I am having counselling through them in November. I have waited two years for them to offer me something I feel will be helpful.

I guess GPs are do over stretched, they are only supposed to spend a few minutes with each person and I suspect they get stressed and feel frustrated at times as we all do. Still it is very upsetting when you have this kind of experience with a GP. I have certainly been upset by GPs and therapists who show a major lack of empathy and often a major lack of even quite basic knowledge about anxiety as well.

Seems it is impossible to get access to a psychiatrist, I would have really liked that chance when I needed it.

Kim

[Funkyfaerie]

Hi Sam,

Ask the doctor for some anti nausea pills. I only take one now and again, not on a regular basis. Sounds like you need it in the morning.. No harm in trying...

They really help me

Wish you luck at the doctors don't be afraid or feel intimidated, tell them everything. xx

[Laniben in reply to Funkyfaerie]

Hi Jen, yes sometimes I do think she thinks I’m making hangs up or not helping myself but that’s definitely not true as you know from the things I been doing on here, going on the bus to the shops etc. My daughter is very good but still doesn’t understand how it makes the body feel so weak. I’m so tired as I’m writing these replies all I want to do is get there and back home again. Doesn’t make sense that I was really tired last night but couldn’t sleep does it

Sam xx

[Laniben in reply to Funkyfaerie]

That was meant to say things and not ‘hangs’ in my reply by the way

[Funkyfaerie]

I started to tell a doctor at least two years ago about dizzy episodes that frightened me, and I just started crying because I couldn't cope anymore. His attitude changed so much. It wasn't deliberate it just happened, I'd really had enough.

I know when you try to explain how you feel they just don't get it, you want to say please don't leave me like this anymore.

But we know from folks on here that a lot of the getting better depends on us.

But if you have to have medical crutch such as a few pills for a while it doesn't matter.

Please get the most out of this visit this morning and let us know how you get on.

You know eventually I saw a different doctor in the surgery and although she can't perform a miracle, she has been much more understanding and really tried to help me.

xx

[Laniben]

Thanks Jen, I will do and I’ll let you know later xx

[Jaxs050783]

You need to see a psychiatrist not a GP. A GP is basically a Jack of all trades master of none.

Your GP sounds awful not understanding of mental health. Did the GP suggest seeing a psychiatrist?

My psychiatrist is brilliant.

Tony

[Laniben in reply to Jaxs050783]

I’m seeing someone tomorrow afternoon, some therapist at Mind, it’s the NHS, can’t afford to go private. The doctor said she had anxiety and panic attacks sometime ago now but she didn’t have all these crap symptoms, so used to go running until she was sweating and do yoga and meditation etc.

And I know there’s a lot of people on their own as well, but it doesn’t help sometimes, it must be nice to have someone around even if you dont want to necessarily talk they’re just there with and for you. I’m sitting here wanting to go to bed because I’m so tired but trying not to and it’s a struggle, and I can’t doze off downstairs no matter how tired I am it’s not comfortable enough, so trying to hang it out until at least late teatime or something.

Sam

[Jaxs050783 in reply to Laniben]

I’m going through a divorce so I am going to be in the same boat. I’m trying to have custody of my children to keep me busy.

Your Doctor didn’t suffer in the way u or others suffer. When at my worst I couldn’t go out for a run!!!!

[Kkimm in reply to Laniben]

Hi Sam

To help you hang on in there until you are able to go to bed I will tell you about my ups and downs over the last couple of days. The first was just my daughter panicking over leaving everything to the last minute for her trip to USA with a friend. First she could not find anything about the holiday insurance I had booked for her and sent her ages ago. It was about 8 at night the night before her flight. The insurance co did not help by denying she had a policy at first. She then could not find her visa for America, somewhere on the system, not on an email apparently! Both problems resolved eventually after I was worn to a frazzle trying to sort it as well.

Anyway she is really great in her support of me so I can forgive her for being disorganized but it is all a bit of a panic I do not need. I will also miss her phone calls while she is away and will be worrying about her and her friend driving over there. She is not a confident driver in the UK. They are best friends and it is a trip they have planned for their 30th birthdays since they were at school together.

I also had some very strange night time experiences. As you may remember I said I have vivid dreams but not usually nightmares. This experience was a bit like the sudden starts you said you have when you wake up suddenly really anxious. I kept having this happen over and over again as I was falling asleep after going to bed. I felt as if I was half awake and half asleep and I also could not move my limbs so it was very frightening. I started to be a bit worried incase it was anxiety returning after I have been so well for so long. I used to get the sudden waking in fear when quite ill but have not had it for over a year I think. I then suddenly realised that for the first time ever I had forgotten to take my antidepressants the day before. I usually take them in the morning so they were very over due.

I was relieved to realise that was probably the cause but it also made me feel that I still rely on them totally and that anxiety would probably return with a vengeance if I tried to stop however gradually.

I took the antidepressants I had missed about 15 hours late then could not sleep as I was too stressed out so took half a zoplicone and was able to sleep fine after that. I then gradually adjusted the timing of the dose over the next couple of days to get it back to mornings again and have been fine since.

None of these issues are a big deal because I now feel I can take things in my stride again now I am better. It is so much harder to cope with everything when you are unwell so I really feel for you and everyone else suffering.

Are you happy with the new medication the doctor has given you, is it to replace the zopiclone?

Very best wishes, I hope you sleep well tonight.

Kim

[Laniben in reply to Kkimm]

Hi Kim

Oh heck you have had a time of it lately but as you said you came through it,

I hate bad dreams/nightmares too The doctor said I can take the circadin every night instead of the zopiclone, so will give it a go again because although she gave it to me once before I didn’t know I could take it every night then. Also the point is if the AD is working though she did say it takes a few weeks then I’m not bothered at my age whether I carry it on, if I was a lot younger I might have felt different.

Best wishes to you too

Sam x

[Laniben]

Sorry you’re going through a divorce I did several years ago not pleasant, I hope things go ok for you.

Virgin are working in my area and the damn tv channels keep going off, I’m in no mood for a row with them at the moment lol, and then I just got a phone call from some company telling me about the interest I showed in something of theirs last year, which I didn’t, so they’ve just got a flea in their ear, flipping hell, What a day

Sam