Any ideas...?

[gemp54]

Hi all,

I've been struggling with anxiety for the last couple of months. Various different symptoms that come and go but at the moment I'm exhausted, lost my appetite (although on the rare occasions I have good days the tiredness goes and appetite comes back). The bit I cant seem to shake though is back ache/tension and tension dow one side of my neck. I've booked in for massages and it's great for about a day after but then I get stressed and anxious and it always comes back. Does anyone out there with similar symptoms have any ways of dealing with it or improving it? X

[Kkimm]

Hi

It sounds to me as if you need to find out what it is in your life that is causing you stress and try to change it if you possibly can. You may already know this but have not mentioned it in your post. Could it be work, or a relationship or is it a pattern of responding to all the normal stresses in life by worrying and over thinking things. I do think it is worth trying to get to the bottom of it and making a change because I was also taking on too much stress in my life about 2 years ago and it quite suddenly lead to the development of a full blown anxiety disorder which was very frightening and has changed my life fundamentally as a result.

I had been taking on too much stress at work through doing a series of temporary contracts in a very stressful line of work, I then had a bereavement and a serious health scare and became very ill with GAD as a result.

The symptoms you had have similarities to what I would go through at the end of a stressful six month contract and I would dread the next one but put up with this pattern because they were very well paid and I was using my skills and expertise to services to others so felt obliged to continue the lifestyle. It was also helping towards finances in retirement.

So, if you are able to get to the source of your stress and get some help to address it. It could mean changing your job or having counselling or CBT to help with patterns of negative thinking or over worry which any of us can develop.

Very good luck to you and everyone suffering from anxiety or depression.

Kim

[gemp54 in reply to Kkimm]

Thanks Kim. Unfortunately I think I've identified what gives me stress/anxiety and it's not easily remedied. The main things are:

1. I have endometriosis and acid reflux - both cause a lot if pain and discomfort and I'm seeing doctors but they're probably as good as they're going to get (although the reflux would probably be a lot better if I got rid of the stress)

2. Working full time with 2 young children and a husband that works shifts so very often it's just me dealing with it by myself. Unfortunately theres nothing my husband or I can do about work so I feel like I'm running on fumes most of the time

3. Sleeping badly-probably all linked to the anxiety. I'm tempted to see a doctor to see if theres something I can take but I don't really want to get reliant on tablets to sleep if I can help it

4. Health anxiety-when this all kicked off at Christmas it was probably initially due to health worries and for the last few months I've been jumping between various things that I'm worrying over-none of which have turned out to be anything sinister but the more I worry, the more symptoms I have from anxiety so the more I worry about them

5. Lastly- my relationship with my husband isnt great right now. I feel a lot like we're growing quite distant but I know a lot of that is because I'm stressed all the time. He doesnt ever seem to get worried over anything which means he doesnt really know how to support me. We talk about it and how he can help so he does his best but I can still tell he just doesnt get it. It's not his fault but it's hard to be around someone who's attitude is just to not worry about it when i just don't seem to be able to do that.

I've thought about talking to someone but the waiting list through my GP is months and I cant afford to pay for anything. I have just signed up for some mindfulness type apps which I'm going to try but I just feel like I'm stuck in this vicious circle of worrying, getting things wrong because of anxiety so I then worry more. Feeling a bit like theres no clear way out right now a d I just don't know what to do ☹

[Kkimm in reply to gemp54]

Hi

No wonder you are stressed with all that to deal with in your life.

However you could try to reframe it and rather than seeing yourself as getting things wrong see it more as you are doing incredibly well to be coping with such alot.

I could not even imagine coping with the anxiety I went through when caring for 2 young children. One thing that kept me going when at my worst was to think that at least my daughter was grown up when I was going through it. She became in fact one of my greatest sources of support.

With regards to sleeping, it is so important to get a good night's sleep, particularly when working full time and having to shoulder most of the burden of child care also. There are various products that can be bought over the counter to help, Nytol was quite effective for me. It is an antihistamine and you can find yourself getting dependent on it so you have to be careful not to exceed the dose.

When at my worst that did not help me and my GP offered zopiclone which works really well but ofcourse also can be habit forming. I took it for a few months, I always tried to manage with half a tablet and then only took the other half if I woke in the night and tried for more than half an hour to go back to sleep. I found I could come off them easily and never have to take them now but they were really helpful when I was at my worst. At my worst I lost two stones in weight in two months because I had no appetite, I could not sleep and felt dizzy and out of my body alot of the time. I had constant nausea, my heart was pounding all the time and I felt a strange constant fear of nearly everything so leaving the house was difficult etc. It came on very suddenly after a couple of life traumas. I had always been happy and saw myself as handling stress well prior to that. I am now more or less fully recovered and life is very rewarding again. I needed the support of antidepressants to recover, but that was because I had a full blown anxiety disorder and hopefully you will avoid needing them.

I also found my partner did not understand what I was going through and this does make you feel as if you are suffering alone. He did not really even seem sympathetic unlike my daughter who is great even though she has not been through it herself. Female friends, one of whom continues to go through anxiety were great also and I stopped seeing the ones who were not. In many ways I have gained from going through it in realising what is important in life. It has also improved my relationship with my husband 20 months down the line, because although he still does not understand fully, he has opened up about social anxiety he experiences so I can understand what triggers his bad tempers better and he tries to be more understanding with me. At the same time I try not to be hurt when he cannot understand and accept that he shows his love in different ways, doing lots of little things for me etc.

I think most people who have not been through it cannot understand and that is why we need this website. I guess we have to accept that partners have limits and we gain strength in the long run by being able to accept their limitations.

Do you think it may be worth going on the waiting list for therapy even if it will take months. I was told this by my GP but in the end it came through quite quickly for me because of the severity of my anxiety. It did not prove to be the answer for me as I was unlucky and got a CBT therapist in training who was very poor and by the time they offered me another I did not really need it anymore as I had more or less fully recovered by setting myself challenges each day, excercising, relaxation and trying hard to ignore and not be afraid of symptoms. It also helped me alot to try to understand what others are going through and help as much as I can.

CBT could be very helpful to help you improve on your health anxiety by finding ways to help you reduce your worry. All of that could have the knock on effect of reducing your reflux, sleep problems, etc.

Very best wishes to you and everyone else suffering from anxiety or depression.

Kim

[gemp54 in reply to Kkimm]

Thanks for taking the time to respond. Unfortunately the counselling doesnt look like an option to me even if I wait for it. My local GP offers a service but they give a 6 week block of appointments initially but expect you to keep the same appointmrnt time each week which I cant do due to my husband working shifts and theres no-one that can guarantee they can look after the kids

I will have a look into something like nytol though. I go to sleep easily but I have such restless sleep and vivid dreams that I wake up exhausted each morning. Even if I can get a good nights sleep using that I might find my overall mood and health improves.

I have just been to the GP today as I've felt so run down for so long and cant seem to shake a cold that feels like it's in my ears too. Turns out she looked in my ears and they're really inflamed and the eardrum looks swollen so it seems like I've got a full on sinus infection-the anxiety tends to make me susceptible to all colds/viruses going around when i get run down! I've been put on antibiotics so hopefully if I can at least get rid of this, that will help me on my way to feeling better overall.

Thanks again for your responses, just reading these makes me feel a bit more positive xx

[Kkimm in reply to gemp54]

Hi

I think it should really help to get your sinus infection cleared up. I have tended not to get more infections since having GAD but I did get flu a year back and that really set me back for a few months. Being ill or tired definitely has a negative effect.

Glad to have been of any help at all.

Very best wishes.

Kim