Gotta do better than this.

[Multipie521]

Having the continuous anxiousness from morning to night. Not being able to sleep due to so many worries or stresses, even tho I take many over the counter sleep aids. Not being able to wake up on time or with any kind of energy due to not sleeping. Thru out the day I drink energy drinks to keep me motivated. This is a cycle that will not stop because I cannot stop it.

In between all of that I stress, or that’s what my husband calls it. I worry/stress about our schedule, finances, a clean house, eBay (side hustle), dogs, grown kids, lack of friends because I push them away, and everything else I feel I fail at. The expectations I put on myself are ridiculous.

Always feeling like I never get everything done. Nothing is ever finished, even if it is, but still not good enough. My insides are chaos no matter what goes on around me. One minute I can truly feel happy the next I need to hide because I’m not good enough.

When it gets really bad my self confidence suffers and I start projecting onto my husband. I’ll pick a fight just to get some of this emotion out of me. Awhile back I thought it was a hormonal thing until it started being every day.

I feel like I have no time for meditation and even if I did, I could not get my brain to shut up long enough to do it. There is always something I need to be doing, even if there isn’t.

Forgive me if none of this makes sense to you. Trying to put into words what’s inside is not my specialty. I know I need some kind of help before I go insane. I’m here hoping to find people who can empathize and provide a somewhat guide to handle all of this. I don’t have stomach issues just the extreme ups and downs while trying to manage everything in life. I’m always, always feeling like I’m not good enough.

I have a good life, I truly do, but why can’t I feel that?

[Bassgirl]

I to have them feelings. You may want to see a doctor for I litterly thought I was going crazy. I have a good life too but hate feeling like this.

[Kkimm]

Hi

I think there is a clue for the source of your problems in the title of your post. Gotta do better. You are perhaps giving yourself a really hard time over alot of what you do in life and causing yourself stress by feeling you are not good enough. This is not something you can simply choose not to do and probably has its roots in the messages you received in childhood. Counselling could be very helpful to give you a chance to explore these feelings and begin to learn more positive ways of thinking about yourself.

Try not to beat yourself up about all the ways you think you are failing or not being good enough and instead start to notice how well you are doing coping with your difficult and stressful life.

Taking energy drinks is likely to increase your stress so it is a good idea to try to cut down on this and caffeine in the form of coffee or strong tea. I do not know whether you work or not but whatever you do see it as valuable and worthwhile. You have grown children to support, a husband who cares about you and you are contributing daily to their lives and are very important to them. If you wake up late because you have not slept well, do not stress about it unless it means you are late for work or an important appointment it does not matter. You needed the extra sleep. Anxiety is exhausting in itself and will make you tired.

If you do need to get to work etc on time, go to bed early following a good routine, no screens an hour before bedtime, hot bath to relax, quiet, dark room to sleep in, meditate, read or whatever relaxes you before bed. If none of this works and over counter meds do not work either ask your doctor if he could consider prescribing a sleeping tablet such is zopiclone. I found this very effective in the short term when first diagnosed with GAD. It is addictive so I used it very frugally, halving a 7.5 mg tablet and never exceeding the prescribed dose.

Lives are difficult, you are doing well so be kind to yourself and others. We all struggle in our different ways so we need to support each other. If we get it wrong sometimes, so be it, we will get it right next time.

I wish you all the very best for the future.

Kim

[Hollick in reply to Kkimm]

Kim, that was very well spoken, thanks for sharing your thoughts and well wishes. Multipie, I hope you can benefit from this, and have the energy to get back on track. You certainly have the resilience. Good warm wishes to all.

[Kkimm in reply to Hollick]

Thanks Hollick.

It is so hard to think clearly when you are in the depth of anxiety. This is very difficult to understand unless you have been through it so when you are out the other side you are in a better position to be able to provide help and support hopefully.

Kim