I’m new here and need help. Headaches, dizziness, nausea type feeling.

[Immabasketcase]

Hi, I am new here and let me just say, what an awesome site. I have been so off lately and I really want to hear if others have had any experiences that I am going through currently. There are 36,000 members in this group and I hope somebody out there can relate and talk. At the end of September my grandpa passed away. My grandpa was like my dad. He raised me along with my grandma and mom. I thought I dealt with it weird because when it happened I didn’t cry a lot and I thought something was wrong with me. I did have this problem where I would constantly think about death whether it’s me dying or my loved ones. I am so frightened of death itself. It is now a month and a half after his death and I have had constant dull and severe headaches on and off, lightheaded feeling almost like I’m floating, extra tiredness. I went to my PCP who told me it was just a tension headache. But it has not subsided. All these feelings do not go away. I worry myself about them all day long. Everyone dismisses me and says it is anxiety but I am not sure if it is. Today, I was doing my normal thing around people in school when I felt as if I was going to throw up out of nowhere with no true nausea feeling. I raced out of the room where I ran to the bathroom and dry heaved to no end over the toilet. I didn’t throw up. But all that time I was shaking and my heart was racing as fast as I ever could. My headache (which is constant) got worse. I left and went home. Since then it is not 6 hours later I have this nausea feeling but only in my throat like a lump is there, like I NEED to throw up but only feel it in my throat, it won’t go away. My mom blamed this on stress but I am worried this is something wrong with health wise like a brain tumor. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I cannot deal with it anymore. I don’t want to die but I feel like I will soon. I am going back to the doctors in 3 days for more testing. If anyone could please give advice or share experiences I would love to hear them. Thank you so much. I am truly at a loss for what to do. And I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

[Agora1]

Hi Immabasketcase, I am very sorry for the loss of your grandfather. Sometimes for whatever reason, we are unable to cry at the time of the passing of someone close. This happened to me when my father died suddenly in a fall. I thought I was being strong and stoic at the time but what happened was that physical symptoms took over some time after. Actually, I started getting tension headaches that would really never go away. It just went from one painful one to another. Heart palpitations, racing heart, dizzy feelings etc.

I finally went to therapy and durng those sessions the crying started and didn't stop for a long time after. I finally was grieving. The pain was so deep that it took a long time to recover. It's always good to see your doctor to make sure no other health issues are going on. I hope you will seek some psychological help as well. We all grieve in our own way and in our own time. We are here to help you through this transition period. One day at a time. xx

[Immabasketcase in reply to Agora1]

Hi, and thank you so much for replying. It means a lot. I sense we are very similar. A lot of what you are saying I feel as well. I really thought there was something wrong with me where I didn’t cry after his passing. Like I was heartless. Now I feel like someone mentions him or asks me how I feel about it and I cry so much. Like you said you had tension headaches and the dizziness as well? Did these ever subside? I’m sure therapy helped them. After medical doctors my next stop is therapy. I was hoping I would be ok without it but I don’t think I have any other choice. Again thanks for replying.

[Agora1 in reply to Immabasketcase]

Yes the headaches eventually subsided but it was a painful time both emotionally

and physically. I wish you well with your medical doctor and then startng therapy.

I hope you will continue to come here and get the support and understanding you need right now from others who feel the same. It helps not feeling so alone when

going through some of these scary symptoms. Know that we all care on this site xx

[Immabasketcase in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for being so sweet. Finally one person that understands. It hurts getting dismissed. Everyone looks at you like you have a problem when all you want is support. I love this site already. Thanks again.

[Agora1 in reply to Immabasketcase]

xx

[Calm_mama]

Hi,

You are very articulate and insightful. I have a daughter who went through almost verbatim what you are going through, including the loss of her beloved grandpa, and then the symptoms you describe started after a year+ of bottling things up. She was always a little anxious, but add the difficulties of life to that, stuffing and stifling normal emotion, then a tendency towards somatic/health anxiety, and it's like the perfect storm! BTW that was 2 years ago, she's doing great now. Your story is a common one- many people think they have things like a brain tumor. Anxiety can create the most unbelievable symptoms. Yes, do complete your medical workup but if they assure you it's anxiety, believe it. truly unbelievable, intense, wild symptoms come from anxiety!

I have some resources listed on my profile that you may like. They were very helpful for my daughter. And folks here have so many excellent suggestions and can offer incredible support.

Also, there's a song by Logic called Anziety. With a "z". I think you would relate to this song. It has a couple 4-letter words so don't listen if that puts you off

Keep us posted?

[Immabasketcase in reply to Calm_mama]

Hi,

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate what you had to share with me. I feel for your daughter and I’m sorry that she had to lose her grandpa as well. Everyone tells me I have bad anxiety but it’s nice to hear it from people who went through the same things as I. I just looked at your profile. I can’t wait to go through the websites you listed and I am going to listen to the audio video while driving today. Thanks for the resources and your response. It really assured me. I will keep you posted definitely.

[Calm_mama in reply to Immabasketcase]

Thanks and I am so, so sorry for your loss as well. He raised you! You must be a bundle of locked up emotions. I hope you can continue to mourn and grieve and cry. A good therapist can be so helpful for you. going through grieving is so painful, so difficult, yet vital. We can't go under, over, or around the difficult things in life- we can try but eventually the path is clear - straight through. Without rushing. Rivers of tears. Music, art, journaling, dance, other creative outlets- all of these things can help. My daughter and I did a year of DBT class. It was fantastic and helped both of us so much. The resources we used for self-help were indispensable. The underlying, baseline anxiety was no longer a mystery, and could finally be understood, accepted, even embraced. Do keep us posted, I'll be keeping you in my thoughts

[grudgekyoko]

I know it’s been 4 months but I just wanted to say that my dad died last year and I experience a lot of the same symptoms as you. He died suddenly when he was out playing racquetball with a friend and ever since I’ve been terrified of dying suddenly, especially at work. Hugs to you, I hope it gets better for both of us. Please feel free to message me if you need support, I’m not always online but I will always respond.