I need help

I have a full time job that I’m terrible at because it involves shouting I’ve only been there for 3 months.. I’m a quiet person when I try to be loud I am still quiet and it’s making me not want to go back I’m not sure what to do honestly I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot recently and I have problems with being honest about that and talking to people in general I’m a socially awkward human.. I am a very reserved person around anyone new even if they are the friendlyiest people going... I have work later and I’m I genuinely feel like just ending everything because of how awkward I am as a person

[Agora1]

Gordon21, is another job not an option? It certainly seems like this position is not a good fit for you. However thinking suicide is not the answer. Sounds like there may be more going on. Is there someone you can reach out to? A professional therapist may be warranted. Stay safe and reach out for help. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

I haven’t learnt how to drive and where I live there is next to no jobs going.. I have had numerous therapists in the past I’m pretty much crazy but they keep saying I’m fine and in my situation it’s normal to feel low.. then they don’t see me anymore and my life has went properly downhill it’s like I’m on autopilot and I’m not really here I feel like an outsider looking in if that makes any sense I feel really numb and I can’t stop it

[Indigojoe in reply to Hidden]

How old are you? Do you live in the US or the UK?

[Hidden in reply to Indigojoe]

21 uk

[lorianxiety]

can you not try therapy,for assertiveness,it will surely ease your anxiety,and you have a measure of control over your being,and perhaps gaining an understanding about yourself as to what makes you tic.Suicide is a depression when theres no other way out-----theres bound to be a different route to take so please think it over and realise that alternatives.its your life and your choice.i have been there on and off .its not easy but once you try its not that difficult either-get rid of the turmoil going on in your head..goodluck

[Valorrian]

Hi Hidden,

I understand your feelings of wanting the pain to go away, but suicide is never the answer. A few years ago, when I was 18 years old, I almost died from meningitis. At that time in my life I was getting ready to go off to college. Needless to say that my sickness stopped me from going. I got left back while I watched all my other friends from high school go on without me. I got angry and depressed. I wished the meningitis took my life.

I am doing much better now, however, it left me profoundly deaf with many other side effects. At first I wished I was had died and I isolated myself in my house for two years. I was (still am on days) very angry, I have panic attacks, life isn't fair, the world would be a better place without me...and so on. I am ashamed that I can't hear. Yeah, it's not my fault that I can't hear but those feelings are there.

Recently, my feelings are changing. I am trying to get back out there. This trying has brought on more anxiety and frequent panic attacks. I could give up but I don't want to. I want a life again. I want a happy and meaningful one. I am seeing a therapist and he is helping me. It is ok to ask for help. Please do go get help. Remember these feelings you are having change over time. If you job sucks that much quit it. It's better to be jobless then dead. Dead is something permanent and you don't come back from that ever. I know right now you can't see beyond your own pain but suicide doesn't just effect you. It effects you and everyone else that knows you. You are worth so much more. If you need a friend, I'm here. You can pm me anytime.

[Indigojoe]

Gordon21,

Valorrian has "thrown out a lifeline" to you.

She has shared her vulnerabilities, and her path, she has continued every day to make the best of it. She has insight and compassion.

There is much to be gained by reading her words and knowing that you too, have authority over your thoughts feelings and actions.