Lost and in despair and I don’t know how to fix myself.

[wattoo1971]

Hi all of you reading this. Thank you! I am sure if you have made it here, then we are kindred spirits.

I am hurting badly at the moment, at times I feel crippled with anxiety where my chest feels like it’s going to explode and I can’t breath. I am so tired I feel like I am walking through a vat of cement and the brain fog stops me from making decisions or even forming rationale thoughts. I am also grieving, 2 years after the loss. I had to put my emotions to one side and carry on with work and supporting others. I have done this to me and I know that. I know I bury my feelings and try not to put them onto others. My husband is lovely but I’ll equipped to help me and I feel alone. I don’t want to go out with friends as I don’t want to burden them. Who wants to go out with a misery!!! What annoys me the most is this is not the first or second time these feelings have overtaken me and I can’t seem to stop them. What help are people accessing out there? I can’t keep going through this any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you!

[looking4me]

Sometimes all you need is someone to talk too and listen. Maybe you don’t really need anyone to save you or make things better with meds. We are a résiliant species. I’ve learned this cause I was always expecting too much and never was happy. I lost so much in my life. Sometimes you need to take some items out of your » i want or need bag and put it in the ‘forget about it bag.’ The only thing we need to do on this earth is to live and survive. You don’t ask an animal what is your purpose of life. He would say it’s too eat, sleep, survive and not take shit too seriously . Nothing society expects is worth a drop of tear. Live free, remove all expectations of yourself. You put to much pressures .

[Angep Star in reply to looking4me]

That’s a really nice post and very true 😁👌

[WillowR]

Hi Watoo 1971

I felt moved reading your post, I could have written it myself, albeit your sad loss of a loved one. I totally understand what this feels like husband unable to carry you emotionally, being responsible for others and the requirements to work. My daughter lost her partner two years ago and is only now considering grief counselling, is that an option.

I have finally gone to the dr’s only yesterday and took a list of symptoms with me as these appointments are so tight with time. I’ve decided I’m not even going to bother sharing my diagnosis or treatment of antidepressants with my husband. He is quite wants to run to the hills unless I’m all singing and dancing, so im on my own. Is this your experience.

Would you consider medication.

The other huge thing for me but I know we’re all different is sleep, I need to ensure I have a strict bedtime routine or I pay with my low low mood the next day.

Reading is also a gift that helps as distraction from myself.

I was offered counselling but I am adverse to counselling to me, I just don’t get it, paying money to talk to someone,. Maybe I need to try a specific type but I am so anti counselling.

Best Wishes

W