Feeling pretty worthless

[Matt3013]

I am a twin and growing up both my brother and I totally idolised our dad. He was our hero and we both aspired to be like him, be as good as him and make him proud.

My dad could deal with anything, he was a take charge man and always stepped forward, led from the front and help other.

5 years ago he passed away, aged 57... my twin brother and I were both lost, like a boat with no rudder I still had desire, self confidence, a dream to make my dad

Proud albeit without him to guide me.

10 months later my world changed forever when I was involved in my fatal accident. Since then I have battled this PTSD, anxiety and depression. I have been medically discharged from my job, and feel like I am living a different life to the one I used to live. A different life from the one I should be living. I had goals and dreams and aspirations to be a leader. To help others and to make myself and my dad proud. Now I find myself searching for some contentment in having a “good day”... not having physical symptoms of anxiety, or going out of my comfort zone and being sociable.

I don’t know. I feel lost and need direction or self worth.

I want to be what I thought I was again

[Jeff1943]

In years to come you will see your present misfortunes as the opportunity to become the man your father would have wanted. How will you respond? God gave you intelligence, courage and the ability to express yourself. For the moment good fortune has deserted you but with effort and persistance you can regain all that you had and more.

Remember that every adversity has the seed of a greater benefit. Search for that seed and success will follow. Maybe not the way you envisaged it but come it will.

Have you read Claire Weekes' first book 'Self help for your nerves' avaiable from Amazon? The title does not do the book justice, it is all about total recovery from anxiety and depression. If you have read it before then read it again.

Ask yourself: "What would my dad have done in this situation?" Ask yourself that and you won't go far wrong.

[Jeff1943]

Mattmorris, you are absolved of any feeling of guilt for what happened.

Someone acted irresponsibly, drank too much alcohol and walked in front of your car. You tried to resuscitate him but he was too far gone. You are the victim not him. You have nothing to reprimand yourself over. No negligence, no malice, no selfish action. You tried to save him. You did what your father would have done. Now you must become for your daughter what your father became for you.

You are absolved of any feeling of guilt for what happened.

[designguy]

Hello Matt, you've had a lot of loss and tragedy in the last few years. It sounds like you would benefit immensely from working with a good ptsd trauma/grief therapist. Working with someone you trust and who is skilled in helping you process the difficult emotions will go a long way to reducing your anxiety and allow you to move forward. Most of us are not equipped to be able to do this on our own which makes working with a trained professional even more important.

If there isn't a good therapist/counselor in your area there may be a grief center or grief counselor available which is a good place to start.