Unreal and not me

[Lindsey14]

Anyne else ever feel really unreal or not youself?

[Krazie]

Yes, I have felt that same way, when I am under extreme stress. It's as if my body is trying to protect me by taking a part of me away. Make sense? I think it falls under the category of dissociation, which has a broad spectrum of disorders.

[Lindsey14 in reply to Krazie]

Is dissociation it's own thing?

[Krazie in reply to Lindsey14]

I wanted to give you an accurate answer, Lindsey. This is what 'Mental Health America' had to say.

Dissociation is a mental process that causes a lack of connection in a person's thoughts, memory, and sense of identity. Mild dissociation would be like daydreaming, or getting 'lost' in a book or driving down a familiar stretch of road, and realize you don't remember the last few miles. A more severe and chronic form of dissociation is seen in 'Dissociative Identity Disorder. It used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder. (The more severe disorder requires treatment).

Transient and mild dissociative experiences are common. Nearly a third of people say they occasionally feel as though they are watching themselves in a movie. 4% say they feel that way as much as 1/3 of the time. 7% of the population say they have experienced dissociation at some time in their lives. Mild dissociation occurs most often in teens, and declines after age 20. Dissociative disorders are difficult to diagnose, and may not be diagnosed for years.

[Hidden]

A lot of people would disagree with me, but I personally think dissociation in the form of dpdr can be separate from anxiety. The reason being I have had EXTREMELY long (6 months +) periods of no anxiety or depression but I never completely lost the feeling of unreality. Even when it doesn't bother me at all it is still there. Doesn't matter how much I'm ignoring it. My derealization is marijuana-induced and it's onset was a slow process. I truly believe the heavy weed smoking changed my brain chemicals in some way. Of course for now there isn't a lot of research on dpdr so I'll just have to deal with it. The only good thing I can say about it is it won't hurt you. I've had it for 6 years and nothing has ever happened to me aside from me being freaked out.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Hi someone5673, I'm sorry the dpdr continues. I think you may be right in that it was a chemically induced issue. I keep hoping more studies will be done giving many some answers. I'm happy some of that anxiety/depression has gone down. I will continue to hope for the day you write us an update that you have gotten yourself back completely

and totally. Keeping you in my thoughts. You were always very special to me. Take care and stay strong. xx

[Krazie in reply to Hidden]

Someone5673 , you have an interesting story to tell. Yes, it seems the chemicals in our brain have a lot to do with our mental health, in different disorders. Did you know that our brains contain marijuana receptors? It is one of the reasons given for why marijuana is harmless. I have not done recent research on the subject, so I had best not say more.

I wonder if you lose time when you feel disconnected?

I felt more disconnected at one time, than I do now. With me, it was a disconnection with my feelings. Something I developed as a child to protect myself. I never went into full-blown dissociation, thank goodness, but once I became an adult, my childhood coping methods caused a lot of trouble for me. I had to have years of counseling to learn how to cope in healthier ways. Even today, I can sometimes feel myself drifting away, when things become way too overwhelming. It doesn't help to live in an area where expression of emotion is discouraged.

[Agora1 in reply to Krazie]

Krazie, I found your response very interesting. I do not know anything about marijuana receptors but that is an interesting concept. There are several on this site who never experienced anxiety until one day while smoking it hit hard. A coincidence?

I had always believed as you that when life becomes so overwhelming our mind does into disassociation to protect us. Is it possible it gets stuck in that cycle? I would appreciate hearing anything else you may have in explaining the "unexplained feelings" some of us suffer with anxiety.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with "someone". Take care, my best to you. xx

[Krazie in reply to Agora1]

Every body is different, so it is impossible to say with certainty how someone will react to anything. The best that can be done is to say, 'in general'. I have personally never used marijuana in any form. but recent research into the medicinal qualities of marijuana has my very deep interest. Here in the States, there has been a campaign to malign the benefits of marijuana. I suppose because the synthetic chemical trade would lose a lot of money. Marijuana is cheap and easy to grow. And we are being severely gouged by the corporate medicine industry.

Yes, I believe it is possible to get stuck in dissociation. I think I did - as a child. I didn't recognize I had a problem, even though people would ask me (as an adult), where I went, or why did I withdraw. I was told many times that I was like a sphinx. I was unable to truly love, and give affection, as a normal person. It was only my emotions that were affected. My cognitive skills were intact. I could remember, but only the subjective aspects. It was almost like being a robot - no emotion. If one doesn't know any different, it seems that is the way it is supposed to be. of course, if one's life is being lived in a dissociative state, it seems there is no anxiety. At least, not for me. I did have rare 'breakthroughs', when anxiety hit so hard it was disabling. I couldn't say what brought them on, I can only surmise that my past barged into my present. I have to manage my anxiety in the today. If I don't I can feel myself gradually becoming emotionless. That is no way to live, and I fight to keep from returning.

[Agora1 in reply to Krazie]

Thank you for responding. I have never used marijuana either but it seems to be the way some doctors are going in relieving chronic pain and anxiety by using medical marijuana. I'm always open to learning more about mental health.

I appreciate you exchanging your views regarding dissociation. Take care and enjoy the rest of your day. xx

[Krazie in reply to Agora1]

Are you in the States? I didn't know doctors were prescribing marijuana for pain. But then I am in a state where it is illegal. It will be on the ballot this upcoming November, but our governor has promised to veto, should it pass. What is being presented to the voters is very restrictive.

I have enjoyed sharing with you. I believe that the more we bring mental health disorders to the light, the more quickly they will be seen as less scary and more accepted.

[Agora1 in reply to Krazie]

I'm in Chicago. I have a niece who has Joubert's Disease. Unable to talk, struggles with walking and temper tantrums off the wall due to the progression of the Jouberts. The doctors at Comer's Children's Hospital in Chicago are thinking of using medical marijuana to help with her pain, spasms and temperament.

I've also heard that some people with Fibromyalgia (which I have) are also using

it for pain. That's from a support group for Fibro that I'm on. Will be watching your posts and responses for any updated info. My best. xx

[Krazie in reply to Agora1]

I am sorry to hear about your niece. It must be agonizing to watch her suffer. It is great to hear that illinois has a more progressive way of thinking than the state I am in - Utah. I suspect that marijuana is the last option, but I have heard good things about it for pain relief, among other things.

I am praying that your niece will find quick pain relief. Living with pain is horrible.