So way back in first school was were I first began to get bullied, it was physical and mental/ emotional bullying, I would get strangled pretty much weekly and pinned up against the fence unable to move and have the same boy who strangles me try to kiss me, it was awful, then into middle school I had a stalker who followed me around threatening to hurt me and to kill me, eventually he transferred schools after 2 years, after I though that was it I could relax my group of ‘gal’ friends decided they didn’t want me in the group (I still to this day don’t know what I did to upset them) but nevertheless they kicked me out and I had no friends for about 6 months, they would make fun of me and exclude me on purpose leaving me crying like a baby in all my music lessons in year 7 and it was very hard for me. Finally the girls stopped and left me alone and I made new friends but obviously with my luck that wasn’t all life had in store for me, year 8 I really began questioning the point in coming to school and having friends but then my best friend came along we immediately clicked and the friendship began (a girl who use to bully me didn’t like the fact I was happy and tried to take her away from me and ruin me again but failed cause I was stronger than I was in year 7) then another boy came along texting and calling me saying he could see me and that he was going to rape me, we got the police involved and he got moved out of my school. Now high school, I thought everything would change, new people a fresh start, all these new people were just like before, spreading rumours about me making people hate me when I never did anything to them one of my closest friends turned on me telling me to kill my self and that I was worthless, a random boy texted me calling me fat and that everything about me was ugly and that I only dye my hair to cover my insecurities whatever that means and the school did nothing at all to help so my whole of year 9 was utter torture for me, this is when my anxiety got real bad and the depression hit, I didn’t see the point in carrying on, I didn’t want to kill myself I just wanted to be alone and not leave the house, I began to stop eating and losing weight (I’m quite a small slim person in real life) and this is when my mam decided councilling was best for me, I couldn’t trust anyone cause everyone I ever trusted either left like my dad did or used my trust in them against me, now this year I have been diagnosed with acid reflux disease which sucks balls tbh it’s terrible and I need glasses now YAY •_• I just find it so so hard to trust people for example literally next week I got close with a boy and we were a ‘couple’ but not official or whatever (I hurt in year 8 by a boy so I closed myself off for 2 years and when I opened up I got f’d over like omg brooooooooo) and he used me and then dropped me
Ugh sorry I just needed a vent I’m so glad I have this platform to let it all out I have no one to do that too in real life so thank goodness for here I just have to keep on fighting right? That’s the only thing I can do :/