Seemingly alot of us on this site are very similar in personalities. The way we are the way we react the way we think etc. Last night I watched a very talented man named TED in a video talking about bullying. He went into alot of detail about the way he was treated as a child by other children and adults alike... made me wonder if my childhood has laid pave for the way i am today and since i find myself believing i am some what similar to my friends on here that maybe you all had a similar childhood to me?
See even in my children now i see there is two types of personality the bully and the victim. for me i was very much of a victim. I suffered with bullying from an early childhood right into my teens. So watching this video last night brought back so many memories that i had tried to block out clearly without success. The biggest memory of all is at the age of maybe 9/10 being sat in the head teachers office (a man up until this point i actually respected) and him telling me that it was my fault i was bullied because i allowed myself to be a victim! We live in a world where we are told to be ourselves but then who we are is wrong and we need to change who we are because the bullies dont like us?? I spent alot of years not particuarly hating who i was but wishing i wasnt such a wimp. I hated the fact that i was passive i hated the fact that i cried everytime the other children said and did the things they did...i hated they saw my vunrebility. And most of all i hated the phrase "sticks and stones will break my bones..." because the names did hurt.
But growing up i learned who to trust i learned to chose my friends carefully and i learned not to allow myself to be in situations where i could be a victim. But even i had to walk out of the school gates at 3.15 to catch my bus home. And of course by that time alot of the damage had been done.
I cant go into detail about the things that hppened after leaving school those days really are in a box burried in a whole surrounded in concrete so not even i can go back to it. But by the time my husband came along and promised to take care of me i was DESPERATE for some security in my life and yet again i allowed myself to be a victim of a controlling man and an abusive relationship.
I know no two lives are the same but if we were all sat in a classroom now and the teacher asked how many of us had suffered at the hands of bullies in school or at home. How many on this site would raise their hands?