Sleepless in Washington : My depression and... - Anxiety Support

Anxiety Support

46,067 members46,570 posts

Sleepless in Washington

uniquediamond
uniquediamond

My depression and anxiety have been so high lately that I’m even having a hard time going to work :( I’m a single mom and I have to start strong and keep moving forward so they don’t see the pain I carry. My mind is always racing, my body always hurts, and in the back of my mind I’m always thinking negative and always scared as I carry a fake smile so no one can see my tears and sadness/fear. I catch myself clinching down on my teeth/jaw. I googled it and the main reason people bite down like that is due to stress, I think it’s because there’s something wrong with my brain, I’m only sleeping 4 hours a night and I don’t even know if I’m getting that much, I look in the mirror and I don’t see the same person I once was. I used to feel beautiful and extremely vibrant, laughing and loving myself and everything around me. Now I can’t look at myself and I feel like I’m carrying around a black cloud 24/7 I know I’m not the only one out there and to be honest knowing that actually helps me a little. Head pressure, body pain, headaches, feel as if my head is full and clogged up all the time, unable to focus like I used too, feeling a sense of fear around me, always scared. Sitting here right now typing this I’m feeling all kinds of overwilling fear and sadness/confusion, my eye site has gotten worse. I’m so lost!

34 Replies
oldestnewest

Don't look at a big picture just make small steps each day to coping with anxiety I no what you are going through.make small changes to your life and things will improve in time there is no time element to this .take a deep breath and say this is what I am going achieve today it's a small step but it will all fall in to place take care

Thank you Steven! You know when your going through stuff and sometimes all you see is negative and that’s where I am, the little voice inside my head wants to say it’s going to be ok, and then my anxiety says “OH NO ITS NOT” thank you for the words of encouragement I really do appreciate it

No you are not alone. Thinking the worst is something a lot of us do. Just don’t let yourself dwell there. I have been making a conscious effort of telling myself NO! I tell myself that I’ve spent enough time thinking and talking about whatever it is, so I’m done. No more. Lol. It has worked. I’m also going to try saying 3 things that could go right whenever I want to think of one thing that could go wrong.

uniquediamond
uniquediamond in reply to Krn210

Thank you for that krn210 I wish it was that easy lol sometimes the negative voice overpowers my thought process and it sucks! But even a fake smile can turn into a real one right

Krn210
Krn210 in reply to uniquediamond

Oh I’m with you. It’s easy to spiral into a negative storm. If I could only have all the time and joy that I didn’t allow myself to experience because I sat worried about the worst case scenario.

uniquediamond
uniquediamond in reply to Krn210

Do you remember the time when you didn’t have a care in the world and your life felt perfect, peaceful thoughts and positive energy? Laughing to the point where your tummy hurt, that’s how I was and now I’m this walking black cloud wearing a fake mask.

Krn210
Krn210 in reply to uniquediamond

Oh yeah I do remember that time. I didn’t have as many responsibilities as I do now though. I didn’t have as many fears then either and the ones I did have were easily squashed. Times have changed. We’re still those people though!

uniquediamond
uniquediamond in reply to Krn210

I know we are! And I keep telling myself it can’t rain all the time, and hopefully the sun will shine down on us and we’ll wake up from this nightmare and all will be beautiful and fresh. Thank you for your words they do help a lot ❤️

Krn210
Krn210 in reply to uniquediamond

Anytime! Things will get better! 🤗

Hidden
Hidden in reply to uniquediamond

When the negative voice kicks in dont sit and listen to it, get up and do something and prove to yourself that it will not beat you. Have a go to thing that isnt hard to do but will take your mind off of the negative, train your brain to be positive.

Its hard, but you can do it.

uniquediamond
uniquediamond in reply to Hidden

Bob Marley with the windows down is my way of trying to block out those thoughts and it was working for awhile. I’m trying to untrain my mind and free it from the thoughts that run through my mind day/night. Thank you for reaching out jimmyjimmy it helps knowing I’m not alone

Hidden
Hidden in reply to uniquediamond

You are definetly not alone, we are all in this together.

Music is a good idea but if it stops working find something else, even draw something or colour a picture. Something simple to do to begin with.

uniquediamond
uniquediamond in reply to Hidden

2 years ago I got really big into video games and that seemed to block the thoughts, but you can only play that for so long before it consumes you, got off that kick and started working out to clear the mind and also lord knows I need to lose weight anyways. But when you battling that crap called anxiety all you wanna do is stay home

Hidden
Hidden in reply to uniquediamond

Yes i makes you want to stay home and do nothing.

I started with doing little things, then some of the things i started to get good at so i stuck at them and the challenge took my mind away from the anxiety, i eventuallt got out of the ba habit of thinking wrongly. Now i am happy. I learned new things, i got back to doing things that i used to enjoy. It all helped me.

One thing over all that helped me was exercise, always did it but i started to look into it more and learn more about it. It had a bigger impact than anything else.

You are right about the games, they are ok but addictive. I played a lot too but stopped.

If you want help with losing weight, there is a weight loss forum on here.

uniquediamond
uniquediamond in reply to Hidden

Thank you! You have the gift of advice and I appreciate that! Weight lose and meditation is something I’m definitely looking into

Hidden
Hidden in reply to uniquediamond

Thank you.

Look into them and go for it, fill your head with good thoughts.

I wish you well and you can chat anytime.

uniquediamond
uniquediamond in reply to Hidden

Thank you and ditto!

Hidden
Hidden in reply to uniquediamond

😊

uniquediamond
uniquediamond in reply to Hidden

❤️

I started meditating in Feb..I’d never done it before! I think it would help you! It has me..it’s a guided meditation and the app is called Headspace, there’s a lot that’s free, but you can subscribe too, which I recently did. Quieting the chatter in our minds is very difficult, but this app has helped me so much. Sending positive vibes & hugs to you uniquediamond🤗

Thank you so much for that!! I will definitely grab that app and start tonight ❤️

Much luck to you❤️Please, I’d love to know how you like the app. One thing, I will tell that might help when starting(they tell you this) There is no right way or wrong way to meditate, just showing up to do it everyday is what counts!😊It’s about the journey, not the destination.

Thank you so much for that!! I’ll download it and try it tonight. I really, really appreciate it! ❤️❤️

You’re so welcome hon!!! I sure hope it helps you!! ❤️🤗❤️Are you from Washington State?

Gosh me too! And yea I’m from Seattle Washington, where are you from?

I’m from Northern CA, but am living in Maine right now..I want to get back home so bad. My cousins, Aunts & Uncles are in Grants Pass, Oregon. My Grandmother lived in Seattle. If you read my bio, you probably know why I want to get home...just don’t know how I’m going to do it :-(

I looked through your profile and saw what your going through 😢 I am so sorry! There is no words I can give you to ease the pain just a little, trust me I know! I wasn’t with my ex for 30 years but I know the feeling! He left me and already moved on with someone and we’ve been done since March, I blame myself for EVERYTHING that went wrong and I know I shouldn’t, but good ol anxiety does that and if you sprinkle a little depression in that bowl it’s a nonstop tornado in your head. I can’t promise you when it will get better, but I can tell you that you will heal, but right now you need to express your feelings and let them out, don’t hide them like I did.

Thank you sweetheart❤️I’m so very sorry for your situation as well.. my goodness, a single Mom of 3. I hope you have family around for support, emotional or other. Everything you said is so true..I struggle with the memories, some days way worse than others. I’m just trying to take one step at a time.

That’s all we can do sweetness one day at a time and the sun will shine

I found I like Tara Brach the best for guided meditations. Best to you Uniquediamond!

Thank you!

No problem! 😊

❤️❤️

💕

You may also like...