I'm stuck and need help please

[Emest86]

I have gad and health anxiety. I'm having a down stage. my fiance is 39stone and he has been steadily gaining weight over the 15 years we've been together from 19stone and a body builder to 39 stone and extremely unhealthy. it has affected our sex life in a big way we haven't been intimate since I conceived our only child 6 years ago. now it is affecting his work. it looks as though he will be having his contract terminated very soon because he is too heavy for the seats in the forklift that he drives. he believes I am happy because it all works in to what he calls my agenda but in reality it's making me more anxious than ever before. I know that mentally we will be worse off if he doesn't work because I won't be able to cope with having to look after him 24/7 which is what he expects. I don't know what to do I am completely stuck. I realise it doesn't sound like it but I do love him I just really hate the relationship that we have. he can't play with his son, he can't be intimate with me, he can't walk the dog. I don't understand why he doesn't want to change I really don't.

[Ronig1234]

You need to have a serious conversation with him ! Tell him you love him but you are not going to watch him kill himself with his weight ! I’m not sure how many pounds 19 to 29 stones translates to (I’m in the US) but it’s a big jump regardless. Without a job how will your family survive? Is that the life you want for you and your child ? Taking care of a housebound partner? It’s very sad for you and him- And it will only get worse! I wish you the best of luck and I hope he gets help !

[Emest86 in reply to Ronig1234]

it's 266lb to 546lb 🙄 I have spoken to him but he doesn't seem to listen. when Oscar was about 2 I said that if he continued to put weight on and continued to drink that I would leave. he promised he would but after a month of giving it a go he slipped back to his normal ways and I never left so I suppose I look like I will never walk which seems to be true. I have told him that I am not coping with it all very well. I think maybe I should think very hard about what I should say. thank you for your advice I really appreciate it. xx

[Ronig1234 in reply to Emest86]

There is a show here called “my 600 pound life “ and it follows obese people - and what it shows is that they continue to gain weight and become bedbound - and their love ones end up caring for them 24 seven .is this what you want for the rest of your life ? Or until it kills him? Maybe some tough love will get him on a healthy track . As Someone who struggles with weight I know it is not easy but He is killing himself and you in the process

[Ronig1234]

I hope you are doing well 😀