Life

[BAM36BAM]

So basically I feel like a useless failure, I work mostly with a family member when he has work available, it is not a great situation as he does not always pay on time. My problem is im not sure i can work for anyone else, the thought of not working with family leaves me anxious and scared. I believe I am quite intelligent and could do other stuff but my fear has always held me back.

My life seems out of control I know that the only way forward is to face my fears but its a lot easier said than done. I think its because i never developed skills to protect myself, when I was very young a family member was killed in front of me and in those days it was a case of man up and get on with life. At the same time I think after that all my family overprotected me as i was youngest and because of what i had seen. So i never had to face hard things, now with a lot of my family no longer around I find everyday life a real challenge, its like the world is just a super scary place and it may be better if it had been me that had died.

Any advice or thoughts are welcome.

[Titan4757]

Hi Bam. Sounds like you're very hard on yourself. You mentioned you "think" many things about yourself. Most of them negative. I'm sorry about your family member and experience but you must realize this didn't happen to you and there's a different plan for your life. Instead of short changing yourself, write down all the positive characteristics about you and what you're grateful for. Being negative and having self doubt is easy. How long can you go on thinking these negative thoughts. You're robbing yourself of a fulfilling future and life. Maybe try some visualization. Visualize yourself in the future doing what you want to do. Visualize your future self going back in time to visit your present self. What would your future self say or what advice would he/she give? Best of luck but stay positive.