Am i psychotic? Need your help

[chuck23]

It's been 2 years and my fear of psychosis is still as big as before. I am now on a trip with my father and i feel like i am becoming psychotic and losing grip on reality. I have had some random thoughts in the past, but not like these. I feel kind of paranoid. Yesterday, I was taking a couple of beer with my dad and i was thinking "as always" what if i become psychotic? I started becoming stressed and feeling a bit off. Than this thought popped in my head: "What if i am really psychotic and all my family know it, but they just won't tell me because it would destroy me." The worst part of that is that it made sense in my head at the moment. I know for fact that most psychotic people do not know that they are, and they think they are perfectly sane. I had like the worst panic attack thinking i was going crazy because the fact that i taught everybody knows i am psychotic except me is a pretty paranoid thing to think. Since then, i keep second guessing myself and i can't live my trip like i should. I don't know what to do about that, i really feel like i am losing it. Tell me what you think.

Thank you for your opinion.

PS: sorry if my english is bad, i mainly speak french!

[Dubba61]

Hello Chuck, well, if you mainly speak French i really, admire your grasp of English! These are just thoughts, your not "acting" on them, in any way. You are just guessing, what your Family thinks and they most likely think nothing of the sort. I would keep off the beer🍺 alcohol, and anxiety are a really bad match. I don't drink at all nowadays. Also, your on a Trip and probably out of your comfort zone. I,m no expert, but i have suffered from anxiety for many years. Somedays up and some down. So i would give yourself a break. Try to concentrate on other things. And maybe go see a Doc when you get home, just to check things out. You may need medication at least for a while. Best regards to you, i hope it turns out OK. 😊✌️

[chuck23 in reply to Dubba61]

thank you, i come back tomorrow so i will be able to see what is really going on w/ my therapist! I just hope it is not some sort of psychosis, it would literraly kll me..

[DustinS85]

It sounds like run of the mill OCD or Panic to me. I had the same thing in the past. I used to look at shadows and try to think they may be moving and I was going schizophrenic. I know exactly what you are feeling. It isn't going psychotic. It is a type of anxiety. I have OCD, but it could be a different type.

[chuck23 in reply to DustinS85]

thank you for the support!

[Dubba61]

Think positive Chuck, it's difficult i know. Everyone on here,s had bad days. And hopefully your just having one. Do let us know how you get on? Best wishes Dee. 😊✌️🌻

[Starrlight]

Sounds like anxiety. Hope you are doing okay today!

[chuck23 in reply to Starrlight]

I am not doing so well.. I keep thinking of that and i have some random paranoid mind pop that scares me out.. I DO NOT believe them, but they scare the living shit out of me, because if i start thinking it's true, it means i am a psychotic...

[Starrlight]

So sorry it’s rough for you right now. What are you thinking that at the moment you believe is not true? So sorry it’s scaring you. I donnot think you will get psychotic but I understand, I can get so I obsess over some things and get a bit paranoid feeling. I have been psychotic but when I was I did not think I was. Sorry if not of help.

[chuck23]

i get lots of little thoughts like: maybe she put poison in my food, is she looking at me, what if i jump off the car, etc. But it's like for a split second and it scares me because i don't want to think about that but it pops in my head randomly. After i always have like an hour of wondering if i thought it was really true, i wonder what is the difference between thinking and believing and i keep asking myself if it is the start of a psychosis. I am asking myself tons of questions like how would i do this and that if i was psychotic, what would it mean to me, my family and my friends...