It's been 2 years and my fear of psychosis is still as big as before. I am now on a trip with my father and i feel like i am becoming psychotic and losing grip on reality. I have had some random thoughts in the past, but not like these. I feel kind of paranoid. Yesterday, I was taking a couple of beer with my dad and i was thinking "as always" what if i become psychotic? I started becoming stressed and feeling a bit off. Than this thought popped in my head: "What if i am really psychotic and all my family know it, but they just won't tell me because it would destroy me." The worst part of that is that it made sense in my head at the moment. I know for fact that most psychotic people do not know that they are, and they think they are perfectly sane. I had like the worst panic attack thinking i was going crazy because the fact that i taught everybody knows i am psychotic except me is a pretty paranoid thing to think. Since then, i keep second guessing myself and i can't live my trip like i should. I don't know what to do about that, i really feel like i am losing it. Tell me what you think.
Thank you for your opinion.
PS: sorry if my english is bad, i mainly speak french!