Do i have social anxiety?

[VictoriaChloe]

Over the past few years it has been more and more apparent to me that my lack of confidence in myself and being shy, maybe more than just 'being shy'

Thinking about it, i have always known myself to be anxious, and particularly when it comes to people. I have had time when i havent been able to order my own food at a restaurant ive insisted that my dad do it, if i wanted ketchup even to this day, i cannot make myself as the waiter.

I have been working in retail for three years now, in the same job, and i still get nervous and panic to just walk through the doors. I try to come up with a reason so that i dont have to go. is this normal?

i noticed that when im on break at work and ive finished eating, i cannot get up and put my rubbish in the bin if theres people around. I say to myself in my head 'whats wrong with you just get up' but i for some reason i just cant.

I struggle to make doctors appoints and talk to strangers over the phone, i will do everything in my power to avoid that.

Coming to university has been a big challenge for me. I pushed myself to live away from home to try to help myself. im now not sure if that was a good idea. i want nothing more to be out and have loads of friends but i just dont. i struggle to talk to new people, i say no to going out because i will have to face people ive never met before, even when inside i really want to go

i want to go say something to my GP but everytime i go, i just cant say anything..

help?

[HelpingElbow]

Hi VictoriaChloe

You have already answered your question. Yes, you do have social anxiety, but that's not the point.

Let's look at the underlying issue. I have noticed that more often than not, it is because of the way we were brought up. This essentially stems from the fact that our parents were dominant. They probably had a major role in everything that happened to us till date.

Therefore, as time flew it became our habit to become conservative, introvert, and overly dependent. This is because we knew there was someone who could always make up for and rectify our mistakes.

But as you know, once you mature it's considered healthy for you to voluntarily take your own decisions. It is exactly at this stage where we start feeling susceptible/vulnerable.

Now see if these sound familiar to you

1. You get dejected very easily.

2. You don't take criticisms positively.

3. You imagine an ideal world.

It's not at all necessary for you to feel this way. I have been there so I know it. Accept that you have social anxiety. Start making things work around you by taking initiative, show some proactiveness.

Being shy and remaining that way throughout your life is absolutely and 100% acceptable. Where it's absolutely needed you must muster up the courage to speak, dominate and challenge the whole world, if need be. Similarly, if it's not needed, then you can be as quiet and calm as a monk.

That's called ADAPTABILITY !

I hope it helps. Wishing you luck. Take care.

[VictoriaChloe in reply to HelpingElbow]

thanks for your advice! thinking about it, my parents have always done most things for me, and even to this day still do so you could say i rely on them alot, despite living on my own at university right now. I want to try to become more independent but it regards to my parents they just wont let go and they do treat me as if im still 14 and need everything being done for me. im grateful for it but maybe its doing more harm than good?

[HelpingElbow in reply to VictoriaChloe]

Believe me it won't do you any harm. Your parents care for you, they want to protect you from the world. It's not wrong if they treat you like a kid. Even to this day, my parents don't consider me as an adult. However, time and again I have taken some mature decisions which have made them sit comfortably in the back seat.

Trust yourself and start doing this not hastily but cautiously. Small steps, one at a time would be great.