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In appropriate feelings

I have a problem. I’m having feelings for my therapist.

I’m getting so much better, it’s been incredible.

Yesterday I went outside for the first time in 8 years and 7 months. I laid on the ground staring at the sky crying with joy.

On the other hand what do I do about my feelings towards him.

I don’t want to lose him as a therapist, he is so good.

Please help. Some advice would b nice.

5 Replies

Firstly be so proud of yourself. Look what you did?. It's amazing. I still remember my first time after 7 years and I did the same...i laid on the ground and cried tears of joy. Now, as for your therapist. Sweetheart you won't be the first and you definitely aren't the last that this has happened to. It happened to a colleague of mine, he developed some real feelings for her. There's nothing wrong with you and it's understandable in a way if you think about it. The level of trust you have in that person, they really understand you right? You can't find that with anyone else either type thing. Would you be attracted to this person if you saw them walking down the street say? You'd be surprised at the amount of ppl who say "ohh no"!. Because you share your darkest moments and they don't judge and they are there for you...yes it can happen. It won't of course develop into anything and if it's worrying you...tell yourself this. You aren't harming anyone by your thoughts as long as you don't see the therapist feeling the same way. If it's giving you a really uneasy feeling then I'd recommend changing therapists. That's a huge thing to do by the way as it's hard as it is to find one we really click with. At the end of the day...its their job to be caring and considerate and really to look after you. It's more common than you think so don't be ashamed. I don't want to sound harsh by saying it's their job and they won't be feeling the same but 9/10...thats how it is yet if it's really upsetting you...change lovely as it's a tough emotional rollercoaster as it is without you having this pressure. I do understand though. I'm not much help am I? Lol. Let me know how you get on. Janie


He’s married. I can’t get him out of my head.

He has been so kind and he has changed my life.

Your right he doesn’t look at me like I do him.

He’s very professional.

Ah well I’m still going to keep him as my therapist,I can’t take the risk I’ve going backwards. I’m just getting my freedom back.

1 like

Yes you are getting it back and I want you to focus on this. I don't know you and i was beaming here bcas you'd done it. Absolutely amazing. Well done. I know you know that it's not possible and unfortunately the little thing in our heads likes to play sometimes with our feelings...pesky things they are brains!!. You aren't hurting anyone and by the sounds of it he's worked wonders for you so I totally 100% know where you are coming from. I also believe you are incredibly brave for admitting how you feel. It's important to do so actually and there's many who would 'admire' from a far. My colleague wasn't so lucky to have someone who was as rational as yourself and he believed she adored him. I know it's frustrating for you but as hes helped you so much...try and focus on that. Which it sounds like you are doing. Without sounding like a broken record(which I often do) well well well done with your progress. I'm thrilled for you. Those feeling btw will calm once your confidence gets better. Honestly....i know this. It's easy to become attracted to someone who has done so much for you, I'm sorry if I was a little too harsh in my earlier message. I wish you all the best wishes in the world. If you ever need an ear...feel free to give me a nudge. Janie


Thank you 😊

You weren’t harsh, just talking the truth and giving great advice.

Best of luck


It's called transference and is quite normal during therapy. If you are comfortable with the idea speak to your therapist about it. He should be able to explain what it is you are really feeling.. Pam .


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