Sorry if the title is triggering or negative. I didn't mean no harm. But it's time for me to seek help seriously, I am talking about the anxiety, anger, sadness, and other moods I have going on is taking over me.
But that's not what I am talking about. I purposely wished death on myself and afraid that it might happen someday. 😔
I am so stupid.
Stop with the calling yourself stupid
Your anxiety can help you do things that others won’t get done.
You get more done than most. Honestly
Wish I could say that about me ....sometimes when my anxiety is greater than usual, I need to do some things just 15 minutes at a time and not sign any legal documents or drive or email someone with whom I may not happy. I may not be the safest driver and may regret emailing that person later. I know I don't concentrate as well as I like when I am having a period of greater anxiety, and my judgment can be affected. 
Here’s our problem with anxiety...
Strongly believe that no one can determine what "OUR" problem is with anything, much less anxiety. I can only speak for myself, and maybe for a few others who helped me when I needed them. I don't think I have a "problem" because I am anxious. I have challenges to meet and do what is necessary to meet them and have a good life.
I do not believe that other people "caused" all my basic challenge of having anxiety....this is just part of my life....But there are some people I would rather not be around because I may need to exert more effort to meet my challenge.
If I managed to go back to school mid-life, practiced law successfully, was hit 17 years later by a truck that injured me severely, caused me to stopped practicing law, required me to need a service dog, be afraid to even sit in the front seat of a car, have panic attacks if I am in a grocery store for more than 15 minutes, have chronic pain, have reoccurring horrible nightmares, require medical help to help me live with anxiety, panic, depression and learned how to meet those challenges, and now have live a less active life, but a good one, I am proof it can be done.....it was, and continues to be at times, hard, frustrating at times, scary at times, angry at times.
But DeesmilesX3, you can learn how to handle your "challenges" with the right medical and therapeutic help, encouragement, persistence, and can manage to keep a positive attitude. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other.
I always try to remember I am not an exception with my challenges. Everyone who walks on this earth has challenges that I don't know about....I try to remember that I definitely do not want to trade places with some people.
DeesmilesX3, please reach out some more....you will meet many good, experienced people in this venue to help you deal with your "challenges" as you work toward a life you want. Believe. Just believe. OK?
Oh, Mr. Ed....don't think you really are able "speak" for all of "us"....maybe your such bad experience is just different than mine and some others?
I wish you better days and a less negative, angry life because of what you have gone through with some other people. xx
Other people have seen our ability to get things done. They don’t care that it’s at the expense of our sleep and health
WHOA......I can only speak for myself. Not all people try to take advantage of me or others. The ones that try?....well I just learn how to stop or live a life that prevents that before it happens to me. Takes practice and overcoming fear of the reaction I might get. Yes, if this happens to me, it would just be easier sometimes to just do what another person wants me to do, rather than say no.
And they put their worries on us because we know how to handle it
MisterE, I regret you have had such experiences and that you believe it is because you have anxiety. I know not all people are wonderful and not all people would I want to invite home to dinner. Sometimes I have been "Scr**ed by insurance companies, a person here an there have dumped on me and I got sucked into helping with his/her responsibilities. But that is just part of life, I think, for everyone.
Deesmilesx3 is needing some help and support, and maybe has already experienced some of what you have addressed. I am not Pollyanna. My life has been hard to get to this point, but here I am. I wish Deesmilesx3 to see if I could reach this point and have a good life, so can he. And you, too.
Our problem is that we never say no
I don't know who "we" are. I don't have a "posse", so I can't responsibly say "we never say no."
I have learned to say no. Sometimes people aren't happy about that. But I say no.
We’re f*^%ing superheroes
I believe EVERYONE who places one footprint on this earth has challenges and worries. Some have physical or emotional or financial problems, or ill children.
I people I know who have those challenges often see "it is what it is" as a part of life and do what is needed to live a good life.
And people in this venue write about their challenges and work on those challenges to have a good life. I guess, perhaps, there are more "super heroes" around me than I will ever realize.
Deesmilesx3, you are one of these people. Believe you may need some help and support to handle your challenges. You can be your own "super hero".
You are not "stupid". You have wished death upon yourself and you are afraid that wish might come true. So I think you just don't want that to happen too soon.
That's not stupid. That's the precious child in all of us who is afraid that some of our rash wishes will be granted.
We're all going to die. I agree with you that sometimes when my mental condition was so depressed, I felt death would be welcomed. Some mornings I still have depression, but I know to get up and it will ease by noon. But like you, I really just wanted my life to be different, not gone.
And my life is different now. I have to watch carefully how I live my life, that I am not ashamed that the "chemistry" of my body and brain need medication to function properly.
I keep my monthly 15 minutes check up with my prescribing doctor. I have no intention of dying until I am at least a healthy 95. May actually do that. Longevity runs in my family.
So, tell us what is going on with you. What is the worst issue you are experiencing at the moment? Have you had a physical with your doctor to determine if you have something going on there? Maybe it's time for that and for checking with a mental health specialist to see what help you find there.
Keep writing. Maybe consider some of my suggestions. You will be receiving other replies with supportive and insightful comments. Just keep writing. Welcome. You can have a good life even while carrying depression, anxiety or whatever along as a companion....because you can learn how to keep those "companions" from backseat driving.
Mistere, You've made a brilliant step forward by sharing your thoughts here. Many others suffer in silence. Our journeys are unique but most all are helped when we "talk". A cliche that seems true for those of us here. Online sharing is helpful but do walk your self to "in real life " help e.g. Hospital if ever you feel our community is just not enough
Most all of us have learned that our lives are quite wonderful even when the emotional effects seem overwhelming
The replies seem to have gone way off topic on this one but to get back to the original post- I had a huge fear for a long time that I was going to die in a freak accident. I was very fearful of eating something that I didn't prepare myself etc. Anyway - my therapist pointed out something to me - death is synonymous with escape. if you die you don't have to deal with problems. You can escape whatever holds you back in life. That was very helpful for me in a way. To realize that although I initially thought I was focused on a fear of dying, it was more about focusing on an escape plan. But as the saying goes, "the best way out is usually through ". Deal with things heads on. I don't know if that helps but thought I'd share.
Generalised Anxiety Disorder :(
Sorry to ask
Wish i had super powers and disappear 😂
Worst symptoms I've ever had... In serious need of reassurance... 
Freckle that had a cut on it.
