Health anxiety is killing me

[thistea1991]

Hi everyone, I'm new here and hoping I get some relief by talking to others like me.

Im a 26 year old woman who has suffered from anxiety since childhood. Since my mom died in 2015 it has gotten so much worse, my life is being ruined. I'm having a serious case of health anxiety. I check my body for lumps everyday, I Google and scare the daylights out of myself and I have panic attacks and cry. I have feared I have everything under the sun- breast cancer, IBS, hiv, brain tumors, Lyme disease, diabetes..the list goes on. I'm the past it wasn't this bad but its so much worse. I know the death of my mom has something to do with it. I've had a lot of changes in my life in the last 2 years (moved out of state, quit school, lost my job) and I'm sure its all tied in but I mostly think about my impending death. I have a fantastic boyfriend that I'm terrified I'll ruin his life by giving him a disease or just by pushing him away and screwing up! I want to stop googling because I waste hours on it and it makes everything worse. Can I get advice on how to stop checking my body and to stop googling? It's as if I'm a drug addict because I can't stop!

[Paulina21]

Hi

Have you heard of cognitive behaviour therapy , a great course to help anxiety as long as you try and out it into practice .

Maybe counselling as well as xxxxx

[thistea1991 in reply to Paulina21]

Yes, and my insurance starts next month. I'm praying to get into therapy asap

[Paulina21 in reply to thistea1991]

Hope it works out for you as can be can be a great help to you .

Mindfulness will also be part of the course , I find that very beneficial when suffering anxiety .

Good luck and hope life becomes easier for you soon xxxx

[samanthaschhhh]

Hi, thistea1991. I'm so sorry about your mother, that must've been unbearable.

I can really relate to what you're describing with the health anxiety. I'm much better now than I used to be, but I used to go to the doctor ALL the time, for the smallest things. They probably thought I was nuts. Googling things and checking my symptoms is a big one too.

Talk therapy is very very helpful. My therapist helps me talk through why my thoughts are irrational and the unlikelihood of me having a fatal illness. I pretty much tell myself why it doesn't make sense. I'll even tell myself that even if there is something terribly wrong, I have done all I can do and I'm very healthy otherwise. It's kind of a negative way to think but it's one of the few ways I can accept my thoughts.

I've also noticed that this way of thinking is a cycle. I obsess over one thing for a while, then soon enough, I've replaced it with something else to obsess over. Then it's like I forgot I ever worried about old obsessions in the first place. You're right, it's kind of like an addiction. But now that I've noticed that pattern, I can tell myself... "Ok, you know this is the cycle you fall into. You're obsessing right now, and soon enough you'll find something else. So what does that tell you?"

Hope this helps. Honestly, I think the longer you deal with it, and realize that you're ok and nothing has happened, the better it gets. You just keep realizing that you're ok.