So I'm new here...

[Zoeoe]

For the past 4 years or so I've been dealing with my anxiety mainly about school but the past year it's been affecting me differently. Like before social things or in the mornings before school I used to be very anxious and feel sick but I would eventually relax and feel ok. But now it seems to build up slowly and so even if I'm not consciously feeling that anxious I start to get panicked and feel like I can't swallow eventually leading to retching and being sick. I find this so much harder to deal with because I'm so afraid of feeling that way that I don't even want to try, going to social things and such, and when I do start to feel like that I can't stop it even with deep breathing and meditations. Going back to school again after the summer is worrying me because even once I'm in school I'm sometimes still not ok. I've been feeling a lot of stress and anxiety recently but I don't feel like I can deal with talking to a therapist right now so here I am...

[Starry]

Big hugs xxxx

I've no words of wisdom but I felt for you reading this as i remember how difficult I found my school years. I had no friends and spent my breaks locked in the loos so I didn't have to talk to anyone.

All I can say is it does get a bit easier in time as you gradually get better at accepting yourself for who you are and get better at ignoring fears about what you imagine other people might think of you. You are a warm beautiful genuine caring person and don't deserve to feel anxious like this.

Most of the time other people are in reality obsessed with themselves and their own issues anyway.

[Zoeoe in reply to Starry]

Thanks so much for replying. It means a lot. However it isn't really a specific thing about school that makes me anxious. I have a close friend and I'm hoping to make friends when I'm in my new classes and I don't really worry too much about what people think of me. I think it's more like I get anxious about being anxious and feeling ill and so when I'm tired and stressed I start to feel ill and that makes me anxious making me feel worse. It's like when I go to social things, they make me anxious and I don't know why, and because I feel anxious I get very afraid about having the panicked choking feeling and being sick and that's why I don't know how to deal with it, because I don't really know what to work through

[hayls_2001]

Hi there, I feel for you on this one as well. I was completely fine until I went to university. I began having panic attacks, wasn't sleeping, nauseated all the time and just generally not feeling like I wanted to do anything! It's the worst feeling in the world. I could barely attend a class without feeling the urge that I was going to be sick due to anxiety.... sometimes to the point where I would be sick. I stopped eating before class in fear of throwing up, and wouldn't eat till I got home. When I started losing weight I knew I had to change something. I started packing a "safe bag" with me wherever I went. I had Gravol, pepto bismol, peppermint chews, halls, and other anti nauseants. Just knowing I had all these things in case, really helped calm me down. Best of luck in school!