It's just a bit hard right now

[olivia_714]

My last post was positive but literally a day later everything went south. My dad told me he and his wife were separating which brought up a lot of old things for me since my parents went through a toxic relationship and nasty divorce. On top of that I'm trying to plan a party which is incredibly hard for me because my social anxiety makes the idea of having to entertain people very scary. I'm only inviting three friends and then my mom her husband and my dad. This still feels really daunting to me though and I keep thinking about those three friends because only two of them know each other and I'm the only one who knows the third so if only one of the two who know each other show up then I have to facilitate a conversation. Not to mention no one knows about my dad and step moms separation and they are already asking questions. And of course whenever my mom and dad are in close proximity the tension is high but I can't not invite one of them. This is also a going away party because I'm going to Wisconsin for a few months which is also a big point of anxiety for me. All this bundled together has been very hard on me for the past couple of days and I don't know how to deal with it. I'm doing my best to seem fine but that just means I'm isolating myself which is terrible since the past few years I've been doing all I can to break away from that mindset. I didn't realize that a situation like this would be so difficult.