Disappointments

[Evie18]

Hi all. I was just wondering if others feel as I do. I am in my 50s snd lately am feeling that my life has been severely limited by my anxiety over the years. I have tried to hide it, given into it, fought it -and in the meantime life marched on. I feel I missed out on a lot trying to deal with something I didn't understand and I didn't get much support - until recently...Am I right in blaming my life disappointments on anxiety ?

[Hidden]

Not sure what your life disappointments are, do you think that is down to anxiety?

[Evie18 in reply to Hidden]

Disappointments in work and relationships. I always took the easy way out, avoiding conflict and stress for fear of making myself sick..

[Jeff1943]

Evie18, if we could go back in time we'd all do some things differently. But the answer to your question is Yes, untreated anxiety over many decades can hold us back from fulfilling our potential, some people more than others. I certainly avoided certain promotions prefering to stay in my comfort zone rather than face the anxieties, I used to justify this by saying I was 'avoiding the poison chalic of over promotion'. I'm mostly free of anxiety disorder now, if I fould go back feeling like I do now I'd take the world by storm☺ We all have our cross to bear, who is without one?

The important thing Evie18, is not what happened in the past but how we're going to do in the years left to us. Are we going to live life firing on only two cylinders or have we taken control of our lives now and recovered from anxiety disorder so we can live life to the full? Through self-help knowledge we CAN recover no matter how long we've suffered inthe past.

[Anxietyfree in reply to Jeff1943]

Anxiety can be crippling and life changing however we are NOT our past. Its normal to be angry but it doesnt have to define us.

[Evie18 in reply to Jeff1943]

Thank you for your thoughts and sharing your feelings on this.

You are right - we need to focus on the future now..

[Evie18 in reply to Jeff1943]

I am inspired by your words to do as much as possible in my time left here - thanks

[Hidden]

Well only you know your life no one else, you seem to think it has robbed you, only you can judge that.

[Gill1970]

Hello Evie

I can definitely understand how you feel. My life has been so limited because of my panic disorder with derealization.

I've learned to live with it. However, now I can't manage that anymore. I feel crippled by the derealization and trying to feel connected.

How do you tell yourself this is real.

[Evie18 in reply to Gill1970]

I wish I had an answer for you. I guess our minds try to shield us from pain by making things seem unreal. Counseling can help. I wish you well.

[Gill1970 in reply to Evie18]

Yes that's true.

I do have a therapist but it's not working this time around.

Thank you though

[jencan]

Hi Evie & thanks for posting your enquiry ---- I say that selfishly, because at 64, I'm only too aware that I've stood on the side-lines of life for the past 20 years because of panic disorder & anxiety, which in turn has made me a very lonely individual. It helps to know I'm not alone with my problems. But I plug away with various therapies & taking on board, recently, some of the excellent positive posts that have appeared recently on here (Jeff---you're ace!) I don't suffer from derealization & wish I could help you, somehow, with words of wisdom or solace.

But yes, we were robbed. And yes, we'll pull together to make each coming day count as best we can.

[Evie18 in reply to jencan]

Thanks for understanding. It can be very lonely to be on the sidelines, as you say, afraid to jump in...I have found some good friends along the way and for that I am grateful..

[Hidden]

Dear Evie, I do think that anxiety can really affect the quality of your life! I do believe that it causes people to not live their normal lives! I guess one way to think of it too is we also have choices we can choose to not let anxiety control our lives or we can choose to let it! I think if you see it that way you will realise that anxiety can only have the power that you give it! This doesn't mean that I don't know how painful it is to live with anxiety but we also have to realise that there are others out there that said NO to anxiety and got on living normal lives! I would say that you should start saying yes to more opportunities and even if it's just small things! Do what you can do! Do more of what you love! For instance I find that when I film on Snapchat I become less anxious so I do that more often! I like karaoke so I try and do that regularly! Getting my nails done makes me happy too so I try to do it once a month! When we do things that we love it also reduces our anxiety! Pls also search for a video on YouTube called "Just say yes" by Zoella and pls watch it as it might really help you. Lots of love and hugs. Baby girl 💕😇💕

[Evie18 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks."Do what you can do" are good words for all of us to live by...

[PaulaL]

I also think about that, I always has social phobia, and because of that i lost a lot of oportunites in my life, but my psicologist say that I can't change the past, the only thing a can do is try to do some different now.

You can't go back and change the beggining, but you can do something and change the end

[gemfire]

I'm also in my 50's and feel the same way.