My experience with anxiety

My anxiety started off when I was around 14 (I'm 23 now) I had a muscle spasm in my chest, I confused it with my heart and that's where the story began. I worried about it for months before having tests and being told it was all fine. That settled it for a few years. In 2014 I stayed at my partners parents house for the first time and was worried about just little things. Woke in the night having a a massive (my first) panic attack, from then on I couldn't go back there and it terrified me. My muscles began to ache. I started to get acid reflux. I once remember my muscles aching that backs I called an ambulance thinking I was having a heart attack, I got checked out once again and I was fine. I still get them to this day. My triggers are usually from hearing of people dying, whenever i hear of somebody passing I fixate on how they die and worry it will happen to me. My main focus is mainly my heart. It's been poked prodded and tested numerous times and had always come back clear, but I still feel as though I'm dying. Some days are great. I feel great. But some days I wake up, I cannot breathe, this is caused by acid reflux (which I believe stemmed from the anxiety) so I worry more and then I hyperventilate and am in a state of panic for days on end. I home in on every little ache or pain, thinking it could be a symptom of something more sinister. I pulled a back muscle a few weeks ago, convinced it was my heart I rushed to the doctors once again. I did CBT and I was fine for a few months, but it faded so I tried it again but this time it was no help. But I've come to realise, if it's your time, it's your time. I'm 23, there's nothing wrong with me. I feel like there is, but on paper, I'm fine. I've seen countless doctors, all saying it's anxiety. But yet I still wake each day and my first though is that I'm going to die. Anxiety takes over your life, I get anxious over the most stupid of things. I'm tired of living this way, but when I have a good day, it's great, it feels like the old me is back. Just for anyone going through anxiety, mainly related to medical problems, live for the good days. And the bad days too, you'll look back and everything will be fine. How many times have you thought 'this is it' 'I'm dying' I know I have. (Daily!) the bottom line is. 99.9% of the time, aches. Pains, however severe they may be, are all made up. I've had it all. Dizzy all day, can't breathe, sore back, chest pain, ACID REFLUX!!, headaches, dry mouth, shaking, just feeling....odd. And the feeling of doom. I've found that keeping busy helps! And talking, talking helps so much. Just Sharing what's going on helps massively and helps you think logically. I hope people read this and realise we're all in the same boat. And we WILL recover, things just take time! Good luck guys!!


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4 Replies

  • Thank you for that, im recently going through the same thing, some days are good and others are bad and i feel like something else is wrong and its not anxiety, surprisingly i didnt freak out into a panic attack the other day when a lady hit me frok behind going 50 mph my son and i are safe thank goodness but i think anxiety comes on from stress or being to strong for too long, im 27 never had this in my life until a month ago after having a first time panic attack, my life feels totally different and i try different tactics everyday to stay calm and live a normal life its just got me feeling not me but in my skin

  • Main thing to do before it spirals out of control is research! The more you understand it the better you'll be able to handle it. I'm not saying it's a miracle cure but if you understand what goes on and it helps! That crash sounds awful hope you're all ok

  • We are thank goodness

  • I just read this and really felt like i was talking to myself,It got me a little emotional i must say...most days I look at people around me and see how happy they are with no worries i presume,Then I think to myself "God but why am i not normal" why cant i be like all other beings happy,worryfree or just being able to deal with my problems without having to loose myself in the process.But I've learned to accept that maybe just maybe I'm unique as odd as it may sound and maybe this assists me in handling stressful encounters more efficiently because i honestly cannot avoid them.

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