I need help

I have anxiety bad. I know if I could only stop the thoughts I would feel better but I can't I'm scared of them and they are making me worse. I've had therapy I'm on meds and just won't stop. Please help me

[Beevee]

Hi puppy11

You can't stop the scary thoughts comings so don't even try. Just makes them come even more. It is anxiety creating those thoughts, pure and simple. You can, however, learn to react to them differently instead of adding more fear which is what you are doing at the moment. I know they are scary but instead of trying to push them away, view them with curiosity but don't get dragged into a fight with them. It is the second fear you are adding (oh my god, I hate this etc) which keeps the thoughts coming and the more they come, the stronger they feel and the stronger they feel, the more plausible they seem. However, the thoughts are just that, thoughts. They aren't real so learn not to give them any respect and let them go. Just observe them. Learn to roll with the punches your mind keeps throwing at you, the scary thoughts are anxiety's way of finding an outlet. They need to escape from you so let them, just like a boiling kettle letting off steam. Let the kettle boil, don't try to stop the steam/thoughts, give the thoughts the space to do whatever. Allow yourself to feel it all willingly and to fall into any state and not do anything about them. Don't recoil from them, nothing will happen to you. I know I've said the same before but this is the way to stop those crazy thoughts coming. The less you do to stop them, the quicker they will disappear. The more you resist them, the longer they stick around. Trust me on this.

[Hidden in reply to Beevee]

I do trust you. But long ago I had bladder pain and after a million tests I figured out it was anxiety. I've had anxiety since I'm a little girl. It got bad in my twenties. I was having terrible bladder spasms. My meds got messed up last week and he put me on something different. I'm having the bladder pain again and I'm scared. I know it's because of anxiety. What do I do? If the thoughts weren't haunting me I would feel better. But as soon as I feel scared the thoughts come flooding in and the thoughts are that I'm scared of the anxiety. Also, I live in an area where it's hard to find a good doctor.

[Beevee in reply to Hidden]

The thoughts are haunting you because you aren't letting them go. To let them go, you have to let them scare you but don't recoil in more fear because this is what keeps them coming. Know that they are not real, just a figment of an overly anxious mind which is designed to spew out irrational thoughts which you believe to be true so you fight them. If you believe them to be false (and they are completely false) you leave the thoughts alone and laugh them off. When you start paying them less respect and attention, they get bored and stop coming but is a gradual process. They will shock you less and less until you are no longer bothered by them. My guess is that your anxiety is also behind the physical symptoms you are experiencing. It is just adrenaline preparing your body to fight or run away because you have primed it to react that way by continually fearing the thoughts. Fear is the cause of all of your suffering. Nothing else. Continually searching for answers or comparing symptoms to others is not accepting that you have anxiety and moving on. Accept it all as anxiety and carry on with your life, regardless of how you may feel.

If you follow the advice and learn to view the thoughts as complete nonsense and just a symptom of anxiety, instead of being taken in by them, you will recover.

In my opinion, meds mask the problem and perhaps take the edge of things but if you want lasting peace of mind and body, you must face your fears and accept them until they no longer matter. Only by continually facing and accepting and letting time pass will you begin to see that anxiety isn't a roaring lion with claws out coming to get you. It's a bluff and is really just a little timid kitten with no power whatsoever. Sorry if I sound a little blunt but this is the way to recover.

[Hidden]

I know I get it but I c ant do it. And my bladder hurts. I feel like I have to keep going to the bathroom and no w it burns and hurts.

[Hidden]

I appreciate everything you say and believe it. Now I'm scared that my pills aren't working. I need prayer

[Hidden]

I have another should I be resting and reading or should I keep running around. Do I need to stay calm because my family is giving me a hard time.

[Beevee in reply to Hidden]

Do what you normally do. Don't let anxiety dictate what you should or should not be doing. When my anxiety told me not to socialise, I went out anyway. When my anxiety made me extremely stressed about work, I still went. I did this because I knew it was just a bluff and that, although extremely uncomfortable, I had to teach my brain that there was no threat and no need to keep sending signals to the rest of my body, preparing me to flee or fight by pumping adrenaline around my body. The brain is just trying to do its job and protect you which is what it is supposed to do. It's just got a bit trigger happy, that is all. In time, my brain started to get the message that there wasn't any danger so it stopped sending those signals and I started to calm down. However, you do need to continue to pass through all those scary thoughts and feelings, without resistance, otherwise if you avoid, the brain will still view the thought or feeling as danger and continue to prepare your fight/flight mechanism.

I'd also recommend exercise which will alleviate the symptoms and give you some respite however long lasting peace of mind and body will come if you accept your current anxiety state unconditionally.

I know it doesn't help if your family are giving you a hard time about it. There is a section about this is Dr Claire Weekes' book. It can't be easy for your family and their nerves may be suffering too so don't blame them too much and know that your reactions to their lack of understanding are being magnified and being blown out of proportion. If you can, just let it wash over you, knowing that anxiety is giving a very distorted view of things. Small things used to irritate me greatly but when not feeling anxious, those same situations didn't bother me so I learned that it was just the anxiety making me feel that way. Not me or the other person (who may also be kranky because they are stressed too). It would be great if a member of your family could understand your position but it can be a lonely place but don't despair because you still can recover.

When you start to recover, the old you will return and will have built up resilience to situations you currently find difficult to cope with. It will all come back without you having to do very much and the relationships with your family should start to improve too. Just don't try and force the issue, it will all happen automatically.

Be like a yacht in a storm being tossed and blown and just ride the peaks and troughs, safe in the knowledge that the storm will pass, calm waters will return and you will find your way back to port. Every time you pass through a storm (you may have to sail through many), you learn a little more that anxiety is a con trick. The more storms you go through, the more you start to see through the lies that anxiety spins and the more accepting you are of the situation and pay less attention to the peaks and troughs (lies/symptoms of anxiety), the better you will start to feel. Those storm clouds will start to break up gradually and the sun will begin to peek through more and more until blue skies are overhead. What if another storm brews up? You will have been through so many and amassed a wealth of experience that you will know What to do (sit back and enjoy the ride). It will pass quickly. They won't matter and when they don't matter, you are home and dry.

I used to be sceptical about things like anxiety and had the attitude of "get a grip with yourself." Very little compassion but things have changed for me and no longer quick to judge people because they may be suffering too.

[Cjonesabq]

A very good perspective you have shared. Clire Weekes throughher books has helped me and so many.