Fear of Dying

[Amy1202]

I constantly worry abouy dying. When someone my age dies or just anyone in general, it gets worse. I don't necessarily fear death itself, but I fear leaving behind my daughter and husband. My friends wife who is a year younger than me just passed away from a clot in her heart, then within the week a few celebrities died of heart attacks. I have read up on symptoms of heart attacks and clots and suddenly I started feeling the same symptoms, but extremely mild. Is it possible to trick your body into feeling things that aren't happening?

[Orida]

Yes. I got a serious panic attack after reading symptoms of heart attacks online. Suddenly, even though I knew my symptoms are FAR from it, my body decided I am going to think and feel it all.

Minds are tricky.

[Amy1202 in reply to Orida]

They really are. I read that heart attacks in women are commonly ignored because the symptoms can be just a typical symptoms of other things. Reading about all of it has caused some major anxiety because suddenly I feel random things that have been known as "symptoms" I keep telling myself that it's all in my head. I do that with everything. Another fear I have is that I tell myself something is all in my head and it end up turning out not to be

[Orida in reply to Amy1202]

The best thing is to occupy your mind with something else I suppose. And if you have mild symptoms and are still well, you might learn to recognise them as "not-a-heart-attack" symptoms.

But I know it is hard. You could get your heart checked, knowing my heart is fine helped me to ignore the anxiety.

That said, I do get a random pains that make me think I am dying and I usually just run around the house shouting "No, no, stop" and call a friend to calm down.

[Amy1202 in reply to Orida]

I thought being distracted would help. I worked 5 hours last night and was completely distracted with my work load and told myself I didn't have time for paranoia and anxiety and I still kept feeling things that freaked me out. Several times I thought about calling an ambulance, but I pushed through it and it eventually went away. Then on my way home my back and chest started hurting and the anxiety came back. I am sure the stress of all that I needed to get done at work didn't help. I ended up leaving 45 minutes late and was horribly irritated and anxious about that.

[Agora1]

Hi Amy1202, Our minds are powerful enough to bring on symptoms that aren't physically caused. What happened to your friend's wife sadly happened to her and does not mean that you too will suffer the same fate. Many factors are taken into, in bringing about a clot in her heart. The past several weeks happen to be filled with celebrities that also had heart fatalities. When our time is up, it's up. It could be crossing the street, getting hit by an object falling from a building or many other things. We do not have any control over death so why not live each day to the fullest so that there aren't the regrets by your daughter and husband should you die. Leave them with the feeling that you were the best wife and mother. We all have the thought of death cross our minds from time to time. When it gets obsessive is when it becomes a problem. Don't let a day go by without telling your family that you love them. Should something happen to you, you can go in peace.

[Amy1202 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for your kind words. I agree that the mind is very powerful which is one of the reasons I haven't rushed into the ER. I never really worried about heart failure until my friends wife died and once I started thinking about it, I started feeling random "symptoms". I would love to be able to live until I'm old and even quit smoking and have started eating better, but you are right. We can't control when our time is up.

[Agora1 in reply to Amy1202]

Amy, that thought took me a long time to rationalize. It's hard, we associate by what we see and hear. Once we accept the fact it is out of our control, then we can go on each day. A positive thing that it did for you is to have you quit smoking and eating healthier.

[Amy1202 in reply to Agora1]

Yeah. Cancer runs in my family, both my grandma (my dads mom) and dad died from smoking. I never want to go through what they go through. The only thing to do is take steps to make sure that when I die, it's not because I didn't do what I could to take care of myself.

[Kellylou17 in reply to Agora1]

@agora1 such a great response - thank you.

[RyRywifey]

Omg yes! Your mind can trick you into symptoms of literally anything!!! And look up the Church of Perpetual Life.

[antianxiety]

i also have this fear of dying and its also not the fact of death more leaving my kids.My physical anxiety symptoms allows my mind to make me believe everyday its the day that i die from my heart..i am so aware of each and every feeling in my body i literally feel everything from a small twitch to a sharp pain. I have had my heart tested 3 months ago i had a blood test done for blood clots all came back negative, you would think that would settle my mind? but no im still afraid everyday as soon as i start feeling that first pains..even today a friend send me a message and said that he felt that he had to pray for me this past 4 days. My mind immediately went maybe its a sign im going to die!! its terrible to think this way.My friends sister is very healthy and she just suddenly in november at the age of 30 had a stroke i was so afraid just hearing this..i started googling stroke symptoms and and, you know how it goes!

No anxiety is terrible it corrupts your mind and takes over your body..i hate it but when it really gets bad i just go in my room and start praying or sing real hard to God.

I know how you feel and what you go through..

Peace of God be with you all.

xxxxxx

[Amy1202 in reply to antianxiety]

It's strange, even hearing other people say they go through the same thing, it hasn't stopped. I was at work last night, completely distracted by everything I needed to get done and I kept feeling things that would freak me out, but I'm also thinking that the anxiety of everything I needed to get done didn't help. It helps knowing I'm not alone. I just wish the words of other people telling me it's not just me would help.

[antianxiety in reply to Amy1202]

yeah i meet people daily and you know what most of them have anxiety aswell..I went to cape town last week took my girls to the beach i met a lady there we got to the subject of anxiety and we actually had so many of the same symptoms we spoke for hours because it was as if we knew each other for years because of anxiety..i thought to myself its crazy!!!

i have had anxiety for 6 years now been through heart testing etc still i think but what if they missed it other days i think no its just anxiety. your mind it doesnt want to allow you to accept its just that

[Amytat in reply to antianxiety]

How are you feeling hun. Please let us know if you get this

[kama24]

Oh boy we must be twins! I have quit reading the obituaries in our local paper! All the deaths of so many show biz personalities shook me each time. I say "I don't fear death itself but I fear the act of dieing.....the how, why, when, where. As I tell my husband I KNOW every living thing must die one day but why do I dwell on it and waste what good time I have left. Sometimes it brings on a full blown panic attack....other times just the shakes. I think I've read every self help article there is. I try to employ techniques taught in CBT class but boy the mind is strong. All I can say is, take one day at a time. Try to keep your mind busy with other things. You are not alone!

[Amy1202 in reply to kama24]

It's incredible to know that I'm not alone. I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone, but knowing I'm not the only one feeling it helps. I think I've done ok with stopping myself about thinking about it. Occasionally I catch myself thinking about it and BAM the "symptoms" reappear which is proof that it's in my head, I just have to remember that

[kama24 in reply to Amy1202]

you are definitely NOT alone!! When I started CBT class it was really an odd feeling to absorb when I heard others who sounded like ME! I also admit it IS in my head, but at times it must be STUCK there!!! I try so hard to reason with myself to no avail. I dread to think I may have to deal with this the rest of my life....I talk to myself and cross my fingers that one day I will wake with no panic, no anxiety, and if and when it appears I can over ride it. We are not alone in this.

[Amy1202 in reply to kama24]

Thank you for reaching out!