Needing Help

[amandastallman]

I am new here. And I have been trying to deny the fact that I am mentally unstable for a few years now. Partially because I can not afford medication, or seeing a councilor. But also because I feel selfish and stupid that only at 15, I believe I am struggling with anxiety and depression. Our generation is known for over exaggerating or looking for attention when in comes to mental illnesses. And I didn't want to jump out to people saying I needed help, because I didn't want to be judged. But I am struggling so badly anymore I don't know what to do or think about myself. I can't calm myself down when I get upset, I get extremely nervous when doing anything. Like going to school, talking to family, normal things. I worry and stress about every situation to a point that I over think it and freak myself out. I get down and can't seem to get up. I always feel like I bring others down, because of my presence, so I distance myself. I have negative thoughts that I know I shouldn't be having, but it seems uncontrollable anymore. I don't feel like I deserve happiness because I am worthless as it is. I need to fix myself, because my family needs me but I don't know how. If you have any ideas, please let me know.

[Jeff1943]

Amanda, I promise you that you are every bit as good and important as anyone else in this world and your low opinion of yourself is completely undeserved. Don't judge yourself so harshly, you are 15 so don't expect to have achieved the things that a 25 year old may achieve. You must be kinder to yourself.

Your lack of self esteem makes you nervous and out of the anxiety comes depression, when you free yourself of anxiety the depression will pass too. So how do you free yourself of anxiety? I think that all your stress and worries have sensitised your nervous system so that every small problem seems ten times worse and you worry about things which most probably are never going to happen. Every day situations scare you to death and you are adding second fear to the initial fear. So you must break the cycle of fear causing anxiety which cuases more fear which causes more anxiety. And the only way to do that is to accept your fears and anxieties when they come, not permanently by temporarily. If you learn to accept these feelings and stop fighting them you become less tense, less fearful, and you stop the cycle of fear causing anxiety causing more fear. More easily said than done I know but if you are persistant and keep practicing you will conquor fear, anxiety and depression.

I don't know if you're aware of the method people use to counter stressful feelings: you breathe in slowly whilst counting to 4, hold it, then breathe out slowly whilst counting to 6, hold it, then repeat. This releases calming hormones that help to counter your bad feelings.

Lastly, I think you should discuss your feelings with family members because that is what families are for and I think you will find them supportive. A problem shared is a problem halved. Above all, remember that you are not worthless and that you DO deserve happiness so share your problem with others close to you, this is a must, stop testing yourself and start practicing acceptance which has helped hundreds of thousands of people to regain peace of mind - and take control of their well being. All the very best for the new year!

[amandastallman in reply to Jeff1943]

Thank you very much.