I apologize for this is long but I need to paint the whole picture so one might understand and give me some good feed back.
First some back story. I am 29 and I have been single for a couple years with the occasional hook ups here and there. I never seemed to be attracted to anyone except on the sexual level. No girl ever seemed worth my time or trouble after a history of crazy ex’s in my life.
Currently I have a job overseas making a six figure salary. I do 3 and half months on and 5 weeks off. My second time around though I ended up doing 6 months instead of the usual 3.5. At the time I knew I needed a vacation badly and home wasn’t going to cut it so I decided on Cancun. It was just me and a friend from back home who went for a week. This was toward the end of my time off before I was to head back to work. After just a couple nights there I met this beautiful 32 year old Swiss/Albanian girl. She didn’t speak the best of English but out of her two other friends with her she spoke the best. We instantly hit it off, we exchanged FB contacts and ended up talking the remainder of our time there. After knowing her for 3 or 4 nights on our last night together we ended up having sex for our first time which was amazing. Albanian woman are ladies in the streets and freaks in the sheets let me tell you!!
So she flies home back to Switzerland and I fly back home before I have to head back overseas for work. She messages me about how crazy and amazing our last night together was and wants to continue to talk to me so I think why not. As I continue to talk to her we talk about how we can facetime when I get overseas and that is exactly what we end up doing. Every day we talked, messaged each other on WhatsApp, sent each other pictures, facetimed for 1-2 hours a night. During this time we talk about how special it is how we met and continue to talk. I tell her I will come visit her in Switzerland next time I come home on break. She is excited and I end up planning a two week trip there as soon as I leave work. All along I send her flowers and wine for her birthday and mother’s day. She took up and English class once a week to better communicate with me since her speaking was maybe 70% at best. She wanted me to send her a resume so she can find me a job so I can stay there with her. I told her I wanted to go to Switzerland first before making and hefty decisions in case I didn’t like it there. We even talked about getting married in the future and having a child. She was totally in to me and she even seemed like she wanted me more than I wanted her. So as you can see things were pretty serious between us even though we physically just for 4 days/nights but after talking to here for her for 3.5 months daily we got to know each other real well.
Now to give some back story on her. She is a single mother of a beautiful 4 yr old daughter. She has been single for the last 2 years since the father was no longer in the picture. She walked in on her baby’s daddy cheating on her and for the last 2 years he is 100% out of the picture, not even wanting anything to do with the daughter. This woman seems to have been through a lot but still was funny, good character it seemed and the most amazing woman to me. As time went on I have talked and got to know her daughter real well and she was not shy with me when we finally met in person.
So finally my work has ended and I go see my beautiful Swiss miss. I get there on a Thursday and Friday morning we drive to Italy for a three night stay, me, her and her daughter. I had a great time bonding with her and her daughter. At night we have the amazing sexual experience and all I can say Is European woman are something different in bed. So all is good for the first week and half together. We are driving to Paris on the second weekend starting on a Friday but Thursday she had a cold sore pop up on her lower lip but toward the edge. So now I can’t kiss her which sucks and takes some passion out of our relationship. So we drive to Paris anyway and the first night is great, we go sightseeing a little bit and end up having amazing sex again. This whole time it appears we are getting a long pretty well. The second night we go see the Eiffel tower, and a lot of other main attractions. We are having an all-around great day, we did a lot of walking around and sightseeing. Our plans on the next morning was to check out of the hotel and still sight see.
At the night we were deciding on somewhere to eat near our hotel. There are tons of options but I was deciding between an Irish pub/grille type restaurant and Hard Rock Café Paris. Well I haven’t had a good American burger in 4 months so I decide on Hard Rock (which to this point was the worst decision I could of made) since I knew for sure what I would be getting. Our waitress is young, outgoing and skinny but not so attractive in the face (maybe early 20’s). The young girl is being like a usual American waitress and being super friendly since they work on tips. So like I would talk to any waitress/waiter who is friendly and outgoing I interact back as I am not shy and am friendly as well. My girl was on her phone and after a few moments she says “you have talk to a woman”.
At first I was very confused thinking maybe someone from back home posted on my Facebook or something because I didn’t know where she came out with this. Then she goes and tell me I was flirting with the waitress. I don’t know why but I got a little upset and was like what are you talking about. She says I am not stupid I have see this. At this point this is blowing my mind that she would think such a thing as she is sitting right there in front of me. This waitress is unattractive and my girl is downright beautiful. So after this goes on for a minute or two I say ok we leave early in the morning. Again I was upset/irritated that she accused me of flirting with this girl so my way of ending it was saying lets leave early in the morning. Well then she goes off saying I drive here, I have left my daughter at home for you, planned this trip for you, all this other stuff. I didn’t look at it this way until she has say this and I knew she wasn’t wrong when she said this. So it went from me being upset to her really being upset.
We go back to the hotel, before bed I try apologizing to her, letting her know I do appreciate what she has done for me, not wanting to leave in the morning as I had said out of frustration but she won’t budge and tells me you have say this so we go. Morning comes and I try to apologize again but then she tells me she had cried at night when I fell asleep. I really felt guilty I never meant to hurt her. I didn’t take into consideration of her past and didn’t realize how insecure she was. After breakfeast I try one more time to apologize and she was not budging, did not have a good vibe coming off of her. So stupidly I ask do you want me to get a hotel. She was extremely upset and I just didn’t know how to take it. That seemed to make matters worse, it made it look like I wanted to leave. She says no I did not say this.
This is a Sunday,the first half of the ride home was not the best but eventually we get back to our normal selves and laughing together. I didn’t even try to have sex wither her that night since her daughter hasn’t seen her for a few nights so wasn’t going to push it. The daughter liked sleeping in the bed with us so sometimes we couldn’t get her to sleep in her own room so those nights I knew no sex anyway no big deal.
On Monday we go to the Swiss Alps me her and her daughter. Had a great time again, everything seemed to be back to normal. That night she still lets me kiss up on her a little bit, not the lips but you get it, and she even had me massage her feet from walking around Paris made us sore. That night she was on the phone for about an hour with her friend. They speak Swiss German and I didn’t know what was being said but I never thought anything of it. That night no sex again but her daughter was crying about sleeping in bed with her so ok I respect that she has a daughter to care for.
Next day my then gf goes to work while sight see in the city with one of her sisters. We remain in contact throughout the day like we have been and she gave me no sign that anything is up. I leave on Thursday and this is Tuesday night. We have dinner at her sisters place which was a pleasant experience overall. The customary Swiss experience. At night she specifically makes sure she sends her daughter to her room. Instead of coming to bed wearing a shirt and panties like she has been she wears a long gown and I knew this was trouble. She tells me that she is breaking up with me, that if we cant get along our very first weekend together alone and what happens if we get in a real fight a year later and I just leave. She throws in some other crazy reasons and I am hurt I try to persuade as in asking for a second chance. She still let me sleep in the bed with her and we end up cuddling at some point in the night.
Next day she goes to work again, and I write her a text saying how much I care and we mean a lot for each other and it deserves a second chance. She replies too much has happened and you know this. I went in the city again while she worked and bought her daughter a Pikachu stuffed animal because she loves pokemon. As I come back from the city she is already home from work and I give her daughter the gift. This woman has tears rolling down her eyes, not full out but you can see them. I ask her whats wrong and she won’t tell me. We go out to dinner and again in bed just me and her she wears this full out gown. I ask her why she cried earlier this is what you want not me and she says I had such an imagination (talking about us). I try to tell her it doesn’t have to be this way but she wont budge.
She drives me to the airport in the morning. Her herpes/cold sore on the lip finally is away and we kiss a little bit before I go in the airport. I text her when I go home to let her know im safe since she asked me to and we both wish each other a good night/day. A couple days go buy and I ask if I can call her to which she replies why what do you want to tell me. I tell her I miss her and want to talk about how her and her daughter are doing. NO response.
Unfortunately we booked Vegas before all of this, same hotel different room . Her and her friend and me and my friend. We booked it with the plans of spending all the time together. When Vegas comes at the end of my time being home I message her and she says we only see each other just friends. I am hurt but I still have hope we can fix this. She barely spent any time with me when we were there and the one day at the pool I ask if she missed me. She tells me that doesn’t matter. She was being very cold. She ended up only seeing me one other time for dinner with the four of us and she made no effort to party together but I tried with her.
When I come back from Vegas I fly out the next day back to work. None of this hit me until I got back over here. It has now been six weeks since I have been back and cannot stop crying over her. Some days are harder than others. When my grandmother passed away I shed a tear and was surprised that I was capable of doing so. After this situation with my ex gf I never knew I was capable of such emotions. I cant stop thinking about her 24/7 and first thing I do when I wake up no matter what time of night or day is her and the last thing before bed. I have looked all online about this subject and nothing seems to help. I don’t want to have these feelings but its like I cant help it. I had a chance of a lifetime to be with a woman from Switzerland and have a stepdaughter who I ended up really liking. I don’t know what I did to deserve all of this, was I completely in the wrong? I just don’t understand how someone can be so lovable and after one night of our first argument she wants to throw it all away and be so cold hearted afterward. I found out about a week ago that between Vegas and me leaving Switzerland hse had a new man. That’s 2 weeks in between. She was alone for so long and then two men right after another. The pain in real and I don’t know how to cope with it. I never felt a connection like this before and I cant stop blaming myself for that night in Paris like its all my fault. Even if she accused me of flirting I could have been more mature about it and just explain that it wasn’t or if I never said do you want me to get a hotel.
Its almost embarrassing/pathetic because I see people have gone through so much worse and im supposed to be a man and not cry. The problem here is I have a lot of time to myself, too much time to think. Going to the gym didn’t help as I would constantly even think about her as im running on the treadmill or hitting the weights. This Is pain I didn’t know was possible before this woman. I know I will never find a woman like her, between how we met and going to Switzerland to see her. The way she talked, looked, and acted toward me was really special that cant be duplicated. I briefly thought about suicide but I ruled that out since I know that is really stupid but this pain is almost unbearable. I almost thought about quitting my job so I can be home and be with my friends/family to be busy. I would hate myself later for that so I cant do that. Im just looking for some thoughts, opinions, insight, and suggestions. I appreciate anyone that actually reads all this and can help out.
Who else feels like the unimportant friend? 
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