I'm 21 years old, a female. I was brutally raped by a friend of a friend last year. There was blood, it was awful. He was bigger than me, stronger then me and I was left hopeless. Ever since I have been battling anxiety, depression and health OCD. I had to go through testing for STDs which was the scariest part of it all for me. I have since been seeing a counsellor and go to a women's assault centre for therapy.
On top of battling all the feelings of worthlessness and dirtiness, never feeling whole again, etc. I worry about my health and my safety. The person who assaulted me has a history of assault and was also in jail for assault causing bodily harm.
I have been dealing with terrible thoughts since everything happened. For example, I fear that he was positive for something and raped me to spread the disease or that he's planning to find me and do it again.
I woke up with arm pain in my upper bicep almost 5 days ago and it felt similar to the soreness you get after an injection. My mind automatically started thinking that he broke into my house while I was asleep and injected me with a used syringe. I don't know why I'm having this soreness and it's still there. I don't recall lifting something heavy recently and that's what worries me more. I'm so scared.