One step up, two steps back...

[Sweetlolly11]

Today I got the response from my college that I've been waiting for - they have allowed me to take up less classes and I was so relieved. But then this happened...

I am a 21 year old student who cannot afford to live anywhere else but with her parents. My dad works abroad, and I live with my mother and brother. My mother is sick - mentally. I am pretty sure she has several disorders (psychology student myself) one being depression and the other being a severe control freak. She is determined I should be in bed after certain hours and she will TERRORIZE me if I do not do so. I myself am a nightbird and an insomniac - I cannot sleep very often, and I sometimes cry myself to sleep. The other night I fell asleep at 6 am. Only thing helping me cope with my mental illnesses is the internet at the moment.

It's 0:45 am at the moment. I went downstairs to get myself a cup of warm milk with honey as it relaxes me. Well that was shot to sh*t - my mom woke up to use the restroom, yelled out "I can't believe this" and rushed downstairs, turned off the lights, turned off the tv I was watching and as we were sitting in darkness stood next to me and kept repeating "go to bed". I started yelling, obviously - she didn't even listen. I tried explaining I am a 21 year old woman and I can go to sleep whenever I please, she didn't listen. I went upstairs, she followed me - MY LAPTOP WAS MISSING. She just shrugged and said "it's gone". GONE??? I made her give it back to me, she even wanted to take my phone. I told her that it's things like these that make a person go to a psychologist in the first place and that she should see one as well. You know what she did? SHE SWEARED SHE WOULDN'T TAKE ME TO A THERAPIST BECAUSE OF THIS. That is my punishment. I am agoraphobic and I cannot go by myself and she cut me off. I just ran away and slammed my door shut.

[Agora1]

Sweetlolly, I am so so sorry. I have been in that position at one time. That is true emotional abuse. Taking our things away as punishment is bad enough. Taking themselves away is over the top. There seems to be a power struggle between the two of you. I agree with you that once you are 21 (actually even 18) our days of raising you are done. What time you go to bed and get up is on your shoulders now. You are an adult and will suffer the consequences if you miss work or school. Yelling at you is not going to help. Parents may not like the choices our grown children make, but it is their life. Apparently your mother does have some mental issues of her own and I really don't know what to tell you in handling them. It must be very difficult with your dad gone most of the time and now your brother who will be moving out. Do you have a friend to take you to the therapist? You so need this right now in order to give you some direction to go in. Maybe others on the forum may have some input mostly regarding your relationship with your mother. It sounds like the school issue has been resolved and I'm happy for you. You must be in a state right now and I hope somehow you can settle down. Never a good idea to get into something with someone before bed as well as before eating. That has always been a rule of mine that I've abided by. Lolly, I care, we all care about you on the forum. Hugs, Agora1