Desperate!!: Hi, l haven't posted on here... - Anxiety Support

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Desperate!!

Evelynarnold profile image
21 Replies

Hi, l haven't posted on here for a while!! I woke up feeling extremely bad,low, and tearful. I feel irritable and so lonely inside. I've no motivation today!! Some days are reasonable! Them BAM!! It grabs and twists!! I don't see a great future ahead??? I wish I had a switch of button!! I just want to smile again and smell the roses! It's the loneliness inside that's the worse! Does anyone else feel fear, dread,lonely and lack of interest and motivation. I live in the past, and wish life was simpler!! So much more, but could go on and on!!

,

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Evelynarnold profile image
Evelynarnold
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21 Replies

I feel the same wish we lived closer to discuss our feelings

Evelynarnold profile image
Evelynarnold in reply to

Ahh!! Bless you! So do I. I live in Bournemouth.

in reply to Evelynarnold

I live hull East Yorkshire long way shame really

Evelynarnold profile image
Evelynarnold in reply to

Typical, but hope we can help each other. Remember we feel alone with this!! But we share it with many.

I know hope so

Do you have aniexty also

Evelynarnold profile image
Evelynarnold in reply to

Yes!! I hate it so much!!

What physical symptons do you have

Evelynarnold profile image
Evelynarnold

Irritable, depressed, fearful, dread , anxiety, lonliness, lack motivation, tense and tired, are the main symptoms !! You?

in reply to Evelynarnold

Hi, that sounds just the same as l have. I thought yrs ago it was just part of my personality. I wonder if menopause makes it worse?

Evelynarnold profile image
Evelynarnold in reply to

Yes I do think the menopause definitely makes it worse!!

in reply to Evelynarnold

I hv stronger tablets from doctor. Should l take them or try magnesium with Kalms instead. What do u think?

Evelynarnold profile image
Evelynarnold in reply to

I didn't find calms that good but with magnesium it might be more helpful ? Maybe try that first. Then at least if it's not helpful after 6weeks go on the stronger tablets. It usually takes a few weeks to work and you've got the others to fall back on. Let me know how it goes and go with your gut feeling.

in reply to Evelynarnold

Im on hols, Evelyn and finding that being alone in a b&b is not brill and l woke up in a state yet again. The sad thing is that my mom who has always supported me actually said to me tonight that it may just be a habit lve got into. I felt annoyed and upset because its just not like that at all. I dont choose to be upset and crying in the mornings its the way l wake up, it takes a couple of hours and then l pick up. Every day is the same. X

Evelynarnold profile image
Evelynarnold in reply to

Oh no you poor thing!! No one understandsunless they are going through it!! I feel it worse in the morning!! Like a really heavy sinking feeling! How old are you? And where do you live! Being alone makes it worse !! Is there anyone else you can talk to? I'm here for you as I really do understand . I'm sitting on my own now!! Where are you holidaying? Life is never easy and made so much worse when you feel depressed and anxious. I wonder why they make the bracket round the reply so small?? If you want my phone no I'm happy to chat ? I'm not looking forward to the cold dark nights!! Remember everyone on this site really understands! Xx

in reply to Evelynarnold

Well Evelyn, l live in Wolverhampton but lm on a few days holiday to see my son and family. Im 56 and been a widow for 3 yrs. Ive had underlying problems since my mid 40s and had abt 3 or 4 breakdowns since then. I bought some Nytol to make me sleep in hope that my sleep is deep and no horrible dreams to make my mood worse in the morning. Fingers crossed.

I can empathize with every single feeling you mentioned above. What struck me most was the longing for the past, I struggle with this feeling constantly. As well as the extreme feeling of fear and a general emptiness and disinterest in things I should enjoy. You are not alone, I think that's the first and most important affirmation.

I think at least for myself, hanging on to the past is a way to find some comfort that I once had but no longer can find in the present. It's also a way that I ruminate in regrets about what I could of or should have done and how everything would be different or better had I made this choice or that choice. This aspect of it is very toxic for me because it's just a trick the mind plays on those of us who suffer from this. No one actually knows what could have or would have been different. The key for me is trying to rekindle that comfort in the present, (not always easy).

Another thing I've noticed is that a lot of us anxiety and depression sufferers carry way too much of the burden of the world on our own shoulders. We don't forgive or love ourselves enough. We feel that any good or bad outcome is a result of our actions or thoughts. It's a huge load to carry. I am learning to give myself a break and it helps to let go of some of the self judgement I do regarding what will or won't happen, or what did or didn't happen in the past. We're just human and doing the best we can with our own situations and thats good enough. Don't be too hard on yourself, love and forgive yourself. And remember that youre never alone, you're one part of a giant whole and we're all connected. The illusion that we're alone is one of the most damaging aspects of our current culture.

As far as dealing with actual symptoms, I read a great deal of eastern philosophy which helps me remember that I am connected to a greater interconnected whole. I also take medication. Some people are against medication but I chose it as the lesser of two evils. There was no point in me avoiding a pill when I literally could not even function in life and had no desire to live it.

Find something that comforts you and keep it close. Forgive yourself for what you suffer. And always remember that you are never ever alone. Best wishes.

Nila

in reply to

So wonderfully said. Im just like that. My conscience eats away at me and l hold onto the past because the past doesnt change. And lm wary of the future and dread whats coming x

Evelynarnold profile image
Evelynarnold

Bless you!! And THANKYOU for your wise and much needed response, believe me, a lot of what you've said resonated with me!! Thank god their are people like you who can relate to my feelings. Sometimes I think I'm going mad? The lonliness and fear is the absolute worse. But I take comfort in your kind message. Yes in the past I felt secure and apart of something, more than I do now. Thanks again. I will keep your msg close to my heart. Today and yesterday I've really been struggling! I do hope you get some comfort and support. MSG me anytime if you need to. 😇

in reply to Evelynarnold

Yes, I know that fear and suffering. Also the loneliness and hoping that there will be a light at the end of tunnel. We can find our lost sense of security and peace inside of ourselves, it's there in abundance. It's the mind playing tricks making us feel that it is inaccessible. I am in my heart wishing you the best in healing. Message me anytime you need to remember you're not alone.

Nila

Evelynarnold profile image
Evelynarnold in reply to

THANKYOU! I know meditation is meant to be helpful but I've never been able to quiet my mind and concentrate! I've been online and looked up Thomas hall hypnosis, I listen to him everyday in the hope it will focus me and help me. I think it doesn't help living in a world that's in chaos and having to go out and put on a braver face when inside we really don't feel to brave. I know so many people are going through this and more. But talking to others does help, and makes you realise your not going mad. Please know I am here for you as well.

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