Struggling

[Nothing_left]

Samaritans busy

Been trying for last half hour

anywhere else I can call pls

[adds]

hello why whats prob nothing left

[Nothing_left in reply to adds]

Life just got a bit too much

Just needed someone/ anyone to just be there for Me for a change - tired of going strong for others, I'm out of steam now :/

[kimmy22]

I hope you have managed to talk to someone and hopefully are doing so now.

If not The only other thing I can think of is to phone 111 the NHS 24 hour telephone number and they may be able to give you another organisation for night time help.

Please take care. x

[Nothing_left in reply to kimmy22]

Thank you

Need to sort myself out. I'm not some sad loser.

Used to be a highly educated articulate professional..... Now just a pathetic poorly dole dosser. Cognitive skills diminishing, chronic fatigue, just exist & battle just to get through each day- a shadow of my former self

[adds in reply to Nothing_left]

hay you dont have to be a loser or think your a useless cors your filling down not self lots people can get this way dole dosser theres not a lot jobs about to get any way so dont put self down about it just take time dont beat self up with all diffent stuff going on

[Nothing_left in reply to adds]

It's not that I have a problem finding work. I've always been a career woman & always been in employment I had to leave work because of my illness, the stupid MS has stolen my life

[kimmy22 in reply to Nothing_left]

I hope you feel a little less on your own today. I don't believe for one minute you are what you describe yourself as. Being out of work we lose not only our self confidence but also a sense of purpose. I know - Ive been there. Please try and get help through your GP or Talking Therapy service. They are an amazing free service and helped me in many ways to overcome feelings of being useless and worthless.

I do hope you seek the help you need. Unfortunately they don't come looking for us - we have to take the first step by phoning them. Be brave - you can do it. I believe MIND have the same service. Talking does help.

Take care.

[Nothing_left in reply to kimmy22]

Thank you so much

I will give them a try. I just desperately need help- don't want to end up in hospital again

[kimmy22 in reply to Nothing_left]

Hi - I just wondered how you are getting on. x

[Nothing_left in reply to kimmy22]

Sorry kinmy just shut myself off from the world. Thanks for caring x

[kimmy22 in reply to Nothing_left]

Hi . So glad to hear from you. I hope the last two years have improved your anxiety and self belief. Now tell me how you are - really xx

[Nothing_left in reply to kimmy22]

Hi Kimmy

Thank you for your speedy response. Apologies I’m a bit rubbish at replying & generally just finding the motivation to getting anything done! Had a blip since Friday, managed to pick myself up again ...... Hmmm well the last 2 years have been a bit of a roller coaster. After a stint in hospital last October, I found the courage to go on holiday... solo! After a couple of days in Spain I found the confident ‘old me’ back

Health generally was a lot better in the sunshine, did many things I’d been unable to for a couple of years at home (walk miles, Aqua aerobics & even boxercise)! Ventured off again at beginning of year, but have found since I’ve got back, anxiety/ fatigue/ low moods all trickling back. I guess I’m just very isolated at home & find myself getting very frustrated/angry at being cooped up at home& struggling to leave the house on my own.

It was so nice of you to ask how I was ..... the ‘how are you REALLY ‘ brought a tear to my eye. Usually people ask how are you, I say “fine thank you”. Looking at hopefully doing some voluntary work, which should help

How are you doing.... really? Apologies not been on this forum or read any posts. I think I’m private messaging you, or am I posting on the forum (“,)

[kimmy22 in reply to Nothing_left]

I think this is posting on the forum. If you’d like to private message me that would be fine.

I’m so glad you managed a solo holiday and actually enjoyed it and joined in with the activities there. Is there any way you can carry on with these at home. It’s harder I know - I got my local council leisure card for cheaper entrance fees - went to one aquafit session - and never went back !!! The sunshine has a lot to answer for. But seriously - if you could do it on holiday there’s no reason really why you can’t find a group here, That way you will meet people - and it only takes one person to make a friend. Sorry I need w sound like I’m lecturing you. Not meaning too. But if you can I’d love to hear you’ve gone to an aquafit class - and if your really brave - go back a second time !!! If you do - I’ll go back to my pool. Deal? Kim. Xxx

[Nothing_left in reply to kimmy22]

Hi Kim,

Get yourself back to the pool lady!

I think the reason I could do so much more abroad is because I don’t have the chronic fatigue, aches & pains and didn’t have to waste my energy doing the mundane things (making breakfast, arranging meals, tidying up etc) which sap so much of my energy, hence I focused on using all my energy to do what I enjoy whilst abroad and could ‘rest’ when I wanted/ needed to. I kinda found myself again & learnt so much about my condition.... humans! people tire me out. It was so lovely having my own company and chatting to people when I chose to. It was nice not really knowing anyone, so not being worried what people would think if I had a panic attack, or my legs went to jelly. I guess I felt ‘free’, particularly from all the negativity I’m surrounded by at home. I don’t really have any family support or contact, apart from when I’m well & can do things for parents. Being abroad allowed me not to be upset about not having any family support.

I’ve tried to go swimming here, but find it quite boring, most people go with a friend or already have established friendship circles so not really interested in chatting to others. On holiday most people are open to conversations & pretty much everyday I got asked why I was on my own, I think I was the only person on my own! For the first time in my life I was honest & felt no shame or pressure. The first person who asked me, I just froze , then after a long pause I said “ well I was in hospital quite poorly about a month ago. My partners a very busy man & not had time to go on holiday for 3 years. Being in hospital I realised life’s too short to wait around anyone else’s commitments, or the Christmas holiday he’s promised me, so here I am

Most people would then ask if I was better/ what was wrong/ Why was I in hospital. The first time was the hardest

“Well I have MS.... found myself unable to walk or move much- so promised myself that as soon as I was out of hospital & could manage I was going to travel/holidays, live life to the max like I used to before the MS”

It was a massive relief, these people didn’t know me/ weren’t going to judge me & I didn’t have my mother’s words ringing in my ears , not to tell anyone about my ‘disease’ or depression, it was a punishment from god for the non conventional western lifestyle I’d lived! 8|

Of course I didn’t tell anyone that being in such a cabbage state for a few days had left me so despondent that I’d popped a pill or two :/

My MS nurse told me it is medically proven Vitamin D (sunshine) helps MS sufferers & I should spend as much time abroad in sunshine as I could manage. Well I don’t have a job, any kids or family that have been there for me, I might as well spend whatever I have on me & not worry about anyone else. Last year when I tried speaking to my mum about how I was feeling....

. “if that’s how your feeling, you need to write/ sort a will ASAP and assign me the executor of the will.... you’re house, car, assetts should really all come to me :/

Sorry just blabbing away now, which is why I don’t come on forums, once I start, I can’t stop.

Was very nice going away solo, loving it so much I cancelled flight back & stayed on. Each morning waking up to the sunshine, breakfast & dinner made for me. Walking along beaches, chatting to like minded people everyday, relaxing in the spa every evening. No chores, no make up, no one to impress. Yearning to be free again

[kimmy22 in reply to Nothing_left]

Rant away. I’ll read your message again in a bit but I could relate to every word you wrote. We support everyone - but who supports us ? Xx

[Nothing_left in reply to kimmy22]

Aww so sorry to hear

There’s me thinking it’s just me, always there for others , but no one ‘ever‘ been there for me.

How are you? You never answered :/

[kimmy22 in reply to Nothing_left]

Haha how am I ? Do you want the generic I’m fine or the how am I really? You’d need a coffee a packet of biscuits and plenty time on your hands to read about how I am ! lol. Just a taster - I say haha and lol a lot but underneath I’m screaming ! X

[Nothing_left in reply to kimmy22]

I’d like to know how you REALLY are! PM me if you like, I have all the time in the world..... when I can actually force myself to do anything productive xx

[kimmy22 in reply to Nothing_left]

Well another 2 years have past and im back on this forum. Im wondering how your doing and whether your ok x

[Hidden]

Hey, I hope you are feeling better.

Here's a verse that's always helped me,

Philipians 4:5-7

Find peace

[wallflower_fairy]

Hi Nothing_left,

I don't know if any of these will apply but here are a few crisis support lines other than the Samaritans if you're needing immediate support...

SaneLine

Website: sane.org.uk

Telephone: [phone] (open 4.30pm-10.30pm daily)

PapyrusHOPELINEUK (for people under 35)

Website: papyrus-uk.org

Telephone: [phone] (open Mon-Fri 9am-10pm; weekend/bank holiday 2pm-10pm)

Email: [e-mail]

Text: 07860 039967

I hope you feel better soon.

Xx