Out of options

I think I have just given up on life!! I'm so afraid to go places thinking something might happen! I think I'm depressed ! All I do is work and come home to the confinements of my bedroom where I am for the rest of the day! I have no get up and go and the only reason I work is to pay the bills! All my relationships suffer with family my kids, friends , my BF . it hurt so so bad that I can't enjoy life like I use too. I had my first panic attack ten years ago then again like four years but I have never been formally diagnosed with anxiety/depression! I need some help any form of help! I don't think I can carry on much longer!!! I worry myself sick! And my health is the main issue!! I think I'm in avoidance of doctors but if I'm in terrible pain I will seek help but that's it! I'm having so many weird symptoms! Could it be anxiety or I'm really sick? I don't know what to do! This is crazy!!

20 Replies

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  • Hi! I have dealt with depression for 32 years and with anxiety and panic for the last five years. I also am a borderline and have ocd. I take 20 meds a day to help keep me stable. I lost count of how many hospitalizations I have had and how many times I have been committed. For me it is like a nightmare that I never wake up from. Never knowing if I am going to feel like shit the next day. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see a person with no face. Some days I just go through the motions knowing that this is my fate! You are not alone! I fully understand the pain you are feeling.

  • Ellak26 u are so right ! I hate this feeling I will give anything to live a healthy happy life! I wish u well I really do cause this is crippling

  • Sorry if I sounded like a negative nellie. I didn't want to sound that way. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and I care even though I do not know you personally. I truly hope things get better for you soon!

  • No u didn't sound negative at all I didn't take it that way I promise its just good to hear from others that know what I'm going thru

  • THANK YOU

  • THANK YOU

  • I'm sorry Anxietytroll, anxiety can and does affect not only us but the people around us. Commend yourself for working everyday. Whether out of necessity or not, it still is a big step for you. It seems like you have established a routine of coming home and resigning to your bedroom. Not the best of options because it puts in your mind that you are sick. I use my bedroom only for sleeping. You say you avoid doctors unless you are in terrible pain. But you are in pain anxietytroll, emotional pain that is causing physical pain. It's not going to go away unless it's addressed. You do need to get a diagnosis if it is anxiety/depression. From this end, it does sound like depression. I know therapy is expensive, but something needs to be done to help you turn that corner. Working and having no life won't do it. I wish you some positive changes so you can get out of this rut that you are in. My best to you. xx

  • Agora1 thank u and yes I'm am in pain emotionally and its debilitating! I try so hard to brush it off but that never work. And yes I do need help before I harm myself because I've thought about it on several occasions! I'm like what's the use in keep living like this?! But I not only think of myself I think of my family and that stops me dead in my tracks! I just want to regain a sense of my sanity back! Thank U

  • Anxietytroll, is it possible for you to get the help you need. Whenever someone entertains the thought of hurting themselves, a red flag should go up. I'm glad your family is enough to not make you do anything. I can hear the emotional pain in your posts. I was there once and it took a lot of therapy and trying different medications before getting to a more even keel of where I am at now. It doesn't happen overnight, but hey, whatever it takes will give you your life back. That's what we all want. Sending you a hug. x

  • Aww thank u Angora 1 ...I don't even think they know that I'm struggling emotionally! I hide my pain from the world! And I know that's not a good thing dealing with something such as this! I pray we all find our peace!

  • I will, Anxietytroll, just make sure you keep coming here for the support. We care. I care. xx

  • I will! Good to hear from you all let's me know I'm not alone!

  • WHAT IS WORRY ABOUT OTHER THINGS

  • I worry about everything

  • Am starting to feel like it's again I did get better but it's all come back twice as bad this time cry all the time can't go out find it hard to go to the doctor as they just keep telling me there not much they can do for me just want my life back to the way it was before I get this :(

  • Hello :-)

    I have just seen you post and I feel your pain on how you are feeling at the moment as well as your fear in seeing a Doctor but that is what you really need to do the most see a Doctor :-)

    I have a brilliant Doctor , still don't like going and will put it of till I can't put it of any more and the relief I feel when I have been I could kick myself for not going sooner !

    I know how hard this feels for you but you are at a stage where you need to talk to someone professional that can diagnose you , go through different options to help you as well as refer you

    We will all be here to support you , take a deep breath and make that appointment , write down what you want to say and pass it to them if you do not feel you can speak and explain in person , I have done that in the past :-)

    Take Care x

  • Hi Bounce I had an appt but canceled it bit I think its time for me to go its now or never! I just want to regain my sense of peace I don't want to live like this anymore! I can't I have people depending on me! Thank U so much for the kind words to u and everyone on the forum😊

  • I have done that myself before made an appointment then cancelled but see it as a positive you made an appointment , I bet a while ago you would have never even made one ....so plan of action ....make another one and come on and post and let us all try and keep you going the best we can so you don't cancel .......tell us before you cancel and give us a chance to help you get there :-/

    I have every faith you can do this you know and if you get a good Doctor I think you will feel such a relief , tell yourself and it is true you are not going to feel any worse or be worse of for going so if anything you might be better of :-)

    Shall look for your next post letting us know when you are going :-) x

  • I sure will putting this plan into motion as we speak! I need this and I know it will help!! I have Faith! God has brought me too far to leave me now...Thank U bounce! I love hearing from u and I don't even know u but Thanks so so much u are a blessing😊

  • you shoul try to chill out when can not worry about every little think all pains think got this that make get scared all in the mind it cant hurt you fills like it can it cant trust me its brain playing the anxiety tricks on you meds docs f**k alll that its you and you alone that has to get it in mind its not real can be dun v.v.hard to but in time it can go more got not think about its going to happen thats when it does morethink wore get and all things with it sweats fast hart fake pains shakes so on got think not real p** off breath slow relax it pass all to do with mind thinking try it slow when get one not real go away good luck with it x

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