Think I've lost the plot!!!

[Queen_bee79]

So this morning I should be in work but I'm not as I couldn't manage to get myself in any kind of normal state to go! As soon as I opened my eyes I find myself asking is my anxiety there? Then I feel like my chest goes tight and I struggle to breath so then it's s knock on effect as I'm rushing to the loo with my nervous tummy!!! So as I'm sat on loo with nervous tummy my mouth is dry and has mucus at back of mouth so I spit out on to tissue just to check there's no blood because I'm that person who worries my lungs will just give way! And there's brown spots in it this had then sent me over the edge as I'm sure it's lung cancer as I'm in agony with my back and shoulders ! So I'm bk in bed with quilt pulled up and dreading having to move ! I'm so sick of this I will now have a horrendous day and yes I've googled my symptoms and yes it's lung cancer!!!!! And yes I think I have it! And yes I shouldn't have googled it but I have!!! So fed up!!!!

[Hidden]

Hello

Take some deep breaths and relax

So did you have anything to eat or drink last night or this morning , like tea or coffee etc

Even if it was last night you had a drink and not this morning it can stay in are phlegm while we are asleep and then when we spit the next morning there can be little brown bits left in or if you have had something like tomatoes the night before it can be red and then we go in a bigger panic thinking that is blood !

You have been checked out by your Doctor ?

Do you smoke , if the answer is no well the chances of lung cancer are next to none and if it is yes I think more would be happening

Unless you see this on a regular basis or it gets worse I think if you went to your Doctor saying this had happened once they would look at you gone out

I think you may have been to the Doctors and they have listened to your chest if they thought or heard anything they would have had you in for more tests not sent you home

Some Counselling would really help you , maybe you could ask at your surgery to be referred for some tell them just how bad this is getting and let them know you want to be taken seriously and listened to because you cannot go on like this , especially missing days of work

Tut tut , you like that Dr Google dont you

O would have been so much better if you had just come on here first ( think you know that )

What did you expect Dr Google to tell you , he was bound to say you were on your way out , even though he does not know you , your medical history , cannot examine you and only knows to spit out the worse scenario !

Try to keep of and maybe later if you could get out of bed and get dressed and try and do anything because sometimes when we lay there it makes us feel worse , let the anxiety know it may have scared you for a while this Morning but you are going to be in charge for the rest of the day and it is not going to ruin it all for you

I am sure you will be fine

Take Care x

[Queen_bee79 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks yr an angel! I do smoke yes and yes I would love to give up but the more anxious I get the more I smoke again a cycle I feel trapped in!!! I went to the doctors this week because of my breathing he gave me an inhaler and asked if I had coughed up any blood I hadn't so u can imagine the state I put myself in this morning ! I have got a bit of a blocked nose so I'm trying to tell myself it's probably gathers in the night from my nose!! Nothing is coming of my chest so I'm trying to be positive but my anxiety takes over! I have got up done a bit of tidying up but my minds constantly on a whirlwind! I work for my parents so my dad rang and asked why I hadn't come to work I told him my anxiety is bad I was told to pull my self together !! I know he didn't mean it nasty I know he can't get his head around it and I wish I could just pull myself together but easier said than done !!! Thank you bounce I see your posts and they are a great comfort to many including myself xx

[Hidden in reply to Queen_bee79]

Well I am a smoker to

I am sure it will be nothing , you can tell when it has come up from your chest it is the anxiety playing tricks !

I know people that don't understand will say as your Dad has and no they don't mean it they just don't understand because this is something that can't be seen only felt by those that suffer , I tend to just talk with others that know how this feels because it makes or has made me feel so much worse in the past when people have said Pull yourself together , if only it were that easy anxiety would not exist !

You might find an opportunity where you can sit your Dad down and explain all this telling him he may not understand but it is very real to you and you are suffering and would love his support and if he would keep an open mind , I also wonder when they say Pull yourself together if maybe they are slightly afraid because they don't understand and don't know how to help ?

Good for you getting something done , I will send you my ironing that will keep you occupied

Just keep telling yourself this is anxiety , powerful but it is not going to kill you , if you can start training yourself in not letting it have control then it does get fed up and moves on but while ever we give it control it lingers and I know it is not easy it takes lots of patience and practice but you will get there

OK I dont think you will do my ironing so up and on wards as we say round here if I move slow I might be done in time for Britains Got Talent x

[Queen_bee79 in reply to Hidden]

Haha I'm not the best at ironing bounce but I've got an empty washing basket for once so could do yr washing!😀 My mother has agrophobia she has had it for 11yrs when she found out she had ovarian cancer it came on so my dad is aware of the anxiety he's probably just thinking oh god not u and all!!!! I'm trying the onwards and upwards approach it's hard but I'm trying!!!! Thank you bounce xx

[Hidden in reply to Queen_bee79]

I have ocd so my wash basket is never empty as I wash everything in sight

Sorry to hear about your Mum , has she made a full recovery now ? do you think this either brought on your HA or made it worse ?

I remember with my HA my husband in a morning stopped saying good morning to me and would just look at me and say what have you got wrong with you today

If I said I think I am having a heart attack he would reply well you were having a Brain tumor yesterday what has happened to that ...have to be honest I am glad he took that approach with me as it made me realize at times just how I was sounding and I would have to laugh at myself when he put it that way

Yes your Dad is maybe there thinking here we go again , but maybe your Mum will be able to relate more to you as she has experienced it

Anyway I am looking at my ironing board and iron and they do not seem to be doing the ironing for me so best go and give them a helping hand x

[Queen_bee79 in reply to Hidden]

Yes my mums been 11 years clear of cancer !!! And yes I think it has a hell of a lot to do with my anxiety!!! Ok bounce will let u get on with yr ironing and washing but thanx for listening xx

[Hidden in reply to Queen_bee79]

I can see why that would have had an affect on you but remember you are not your Mum you are you so this does not mean that the same or similar will happen to you as we are individuals and with the history in the family they will keep an extra close eye on you to

So pleased you Mum is well

Nice talking with you to , when I am on we can always have a chat if you want one x