I'm 23, I don't drive, I don't have a job, I still live at home, and I don't have any friends.
When I turned 15 I got my permit right away. I knew I would have some issues with driving when it came time to learn, I felt a bit of anxiety just being a passenger.
The first time I drove I was pretty much forced. I knew I wasn't ready and I kept telling my family I have no idea how to operate a car, I don't know the rules of the road, I'm not ready! But they insisted. The very first time I drove I made the mistake of turning out of a neighborhood into what would have been the oncoming traffic lane (if there had been cars at this time) but thankfully it was a rural area and there was absolutely no one on the road.
I quickly corrected myself when I realized what I had done, but immediately after my family wouldn't let me live it down. The humiliation I went through due to them constantly picking at me and laughing at me for it ruined my experience. They went straight home and told everyone about my mistake. My younger brother was learning how to drive at the time as well and anytime driving was brought up my mistake was the laugh of the conversation.
I remember running to my room and just wanting to die. I've never been good at anything, everything seemed to come easily for my siblings, especially things like that. I always had pressure on me because they just assumed I'd be like them and just know how to do everything. Reality is I can't do anything, and if I try, it's never the right way. Every time I would talk myself into trying to drive again I would be so on edge and start worrying that if I made any mistakes that they'd never let me live it down.
Then what I believe is anxiety began to form. I would panic so much when I was asked to drive, I would come up with any excuse to get out of it. And if I couldn't, as soon as I got in the car my body felt like jello. Then my legs would tense up, I would feel like I was going to lose control, or had this sense of panic that at any moment my hand was just going to turn the wheel into oncoming traffic. I could never keep a consistent speed because my leg would be so tense and cramped I'd have issues being consistent. I would be so jittery. I would ask a million questions to reassure that I was doing it correctly. If anyone made comments like "you're too far to the left" "that turn was too wide" "remember to turn your brights off when a car is coming" even if they were just light comments that were just meant as reminders to me I automatically assumed I was doing a horrible job and then I would only focus on how badly I thought THEY thought I was doing. My driving wasn't horrible it was just jittery, I made mistakes, nothing life threatening, but I was always so embarrassed. After a while my family realized this was a huge issue for me. They stopped trying to get me to drive and left it alone. My dad realized it wasn't safe to force me. My mom on the otherhand anytime I tried to learn and take initiative on my own she would make horrible comments. I remember I was learning to back up in our driveway. I was taking my time, I didn't get it the first try, obviously it took several. She came outside and said you're never going to get it out the car in park and come inside. That ruined me. My brother looked at her with disgust and told me not to listen to her but of course it hurt. I think she was embarrassed because we lived in a populated ritzy neighborhood and here I am failing at backing up for failing to see. She has always been the type of person that cares a lot about what others think. Unfortunately, I believe that passed onto me. After that I gave up for about 2 years I would drive here and there but as soon as I got in the car I just wanted it to be over with as fast as possible. This just meant I wasn't really learning or paying attention to anything but getting to the destination and being done.