A lot of times I put my hand in front of my nose or mouth to feel my breath. My body can't accept that nothing is wrong and being relaxed is okay. This has been getting a lot worse for the past 2 years. In fact I had my first terrible panic attack when I was staying with my ex boyfriend. It was a really bad living situation. I stayed at his house with his grandma dad and friend and it was an abusive environment. I woke up one day so disorientated that I thought his cousin was my boyfriend. One night I suddenly felt like I was going out of it and dying.