Keep busy

[Oliveira42970]

So sick of having bad thoughts got up today and started cleaning the house top to bottom because if I sit still the thought of going to see the hemotogist on Tuesday for my results and how scared I'm feeling makes me just want to cry and I'm pretty sure my spouse and kids don't want to see that even I don't want to anymore just so tired of these horrible thoughts and the worrying always thinking the worst so now the cleaning is done and they r coming back oh how I wish I could go back to 10 years ago before all this anxiety and panic attacks started I don't even remember exactly how it all started I mean I have healthy and good kids my husband is good to me and I'm thankful to God for that I just want to be more normal or feel it 😞 I keep telling myself there r so many people that are so much worse than what's going on with me that helps a bit anyone else gets upset at them selfs I tend to do that and question why I'm not strong enough to deal with what ever is going on ...

[Roserose]

I know exactly how you feel!!!! its sooooooo shit!!!!! I am so scared too... day by day though..... do you take any meds? what are your panic attacks like? xxxxx

[Oliveira42970 in reply to Roserose]

Yes I take meds been on lexapro 10mg a day for about 10 years and lately when I'm really bad I take a Xanax .025 mg the panic attacks for me is I feel like I can't breath couple of times I felt like I was having a heart attack and would die or I'm hysterical crying it's horrible

[Hidden]

Hello. I am so sorry you are feeling so bad today. Yes you are right - there may be people in worse off conditions than you or I but that does not mean you should suffer in silence. There is nothing you can do to help those people after all. So its absolutely fine to concentrate on getting yourself better. You also should not feel guilty if you dont have the answers or feel that you dont have the strength to deal with things. In reality you are dealing with things - you just described cleaning your house, you look after your partner and children - that not nothing, thats hard work. So dont be so hard on yourself - you do a lot more than you give yourself credit for. You need a self-confidence boost.

Waiting for results or appointments is always going to be stressful for we who have anxiety disorder. But again you did the right thing - you took on a task that occupied your mind at least for a while . So you are doing all the right things to help yourself - thats what should be in your head - not that you cant cope or that other people are worse off than you. You can cope and you do cope, however difficult it is for you. I am sure that your children would say you are an excellent loving mother, and your partner say the same. Those are the positives in your life. I hope you feel better soon.

Karl.