Bullies

[lindypalm]

Why, time and time again do I let bullies get the better of me. Yes, I know I have low self esteem and yes, admittedly, I am not very good at conflict. How do I break this cycle of people setting me up to fail, spreading rumours and not allowing me opportunities to grow? How can I complain to the boss, when they have close relationship with the bully? I work hard, but get treated differently. Other people have anxiety issues and it is dealt with sensitively, with me they make fun of me triggering the anxiety. When I stand up for my self, I am the bully. Everyone talks about how well they did their job, and poorly I did my job.

[Lils30]

Hello

I wouldn't be so hard on your self, bullies are nasty people who usually bullie other people to make themselves better for what ever reason. I think you may have low self esteem bexause of these people. Without them in your life you'd probably be more happier, doing an even better job then you do already and your self esteem would be higher which altimately make your more confident. No one has the right to bring you down. People deal with bullies in different ways some people ignore, some come back with cutting remarks, but it's whatever your personality is.

Is there an HR team at your work place? if so I would go to them. If not, I think you can talk to your boss (or at least you should be able to, they have to be fair and treat all employers the same) and I would go in prepared with an example or two (write it down) as to how you have been treated unfairly and how you as being bullied. I think email him or her and ask for a meeting at a set time on a set day. If you have a friend at work or someone who witness the bulling on a daily basis, ask to talk to them too and ask if they could discreetly help you or put something in writing.

The only thing I would say if if you do talk to your boss a few things could happen 1 they will do something about it eg talk to the bullie/s 2. Do nothing about it (which wouldn't be right) 3. Keep a closer eye as to what's going on and keep an ear out for any bullying. 4. Bear in mind the bullie could be angry with you and be even more nasty - but I do think this needs to be tackled.

I think you need to have in your mind what you want done about it too because your bosses way of dealing might not be the way you want it to be handled! So go in with what you want done :).

It's a rubbish thing to happen but it's unfair on you and the best way you can help yourself is by being practical about it.

Lils