About a month ago, I wrote a post on the pains I have been having in my back, ribs, etc. I still have them occasionally and still don't know what they are nor why they are occurring. I really wish these pains would just go away so I could feel normal again, but i have been having such a hard time and have felt so alone. I don't want to keep suffering and I fear that I'm just going to have to keep suffering alone and when I think of that, I don't even think that life is worth living. I hope no one ever suffers like I am suffering. I wouldn't wish it upon my greatest enemy.
I am in therapy & on medication, but I know this process is going to take some time before it starts improving, if it does at all.
In the meantime, I have felt as if no one is understanding that I am mentally sick and it's preventing me from pursuing my normal daily activities and ambitions. Almost as though people are forgetting that i have a serious anxiety problem and making me feel as though I'm crazy when I feel something is wrong (like with those pains) and that I'm just a waste of space since I am not doing much at the moment. My parents almost seem to be in denial of the fact that I am very mentally sick and think everything will just go away once I have therapy and am on pills. They think that I am deliberately being lazy & doing nothing just because I want to, but I wish they knew that I don't have a choice. MY ANXIETY IS LITERALLY STOPPING ME FROM DOING ANYTHING BECAUSE OF MY FEAR. I feel as though no one is getting that and thinking I'm just trying to be inconsiderate and lazy. I wish I had control, I really do. The people in my life think THEY'RE annoyed with my behavior? I'm the one who is actually suffering. And instead of helping me, supporting me, and understanding that I am in an extremely overwhelming and depressing situation, they yell at me, demand me to get a job, and say I have no life. I really don't understand how someone thinks that antagonizing me like that will possibly make my situation any better. I just feel so alone and misunderstood and I don't know how much more I can take. I feel so alone and like everyone is just attacking me and are disappointed in me and I don't feel as though I have anyone who is there for me through it. I just am sick of battling things alone and wish I had someone. Please help & advise me. I would appreciate it so much. Thank you. ❤