My anxiety :)

I haven't always had anxiety. It started about 5 years ago at around Christmas time. We were at a family members house and I had the norovirus. (Idon't even like talking about it, eekkkk!!!!) I was really ill but a few days later it passed, None of my family caught it (thank god!) but I was left pretty scarred by the whole experience. For about a year after I would refuse to go to bed and have panic attacks every night because I was so scared of being sick. I would have about two hours of sleep each night and I would go into school the next day looking like a frickin panda because I was so tired. The days were fine because I didn't associate the days with being sick but the nights were pure hell for me and my parents. Even five years on I still worry everyday about getting ill and I am totally paranoid about germs. I carry hand sanitiser with me and I don't like touching door handles. I get worried about going round other people's house and I'm scared of sleeping in places other than my own house. My mom and twin sister don't know how to cope with it and just call me weird and shout at me which makes it all seem 100x worse. My dad is amazing and helps as much as he can but even he can't cope sometimes. It upsets me that I can't just be normal and join in with life just because of this stupid event that happened half a decade ago.

I want to be a doctor but I'm too scared if someone pukes on me. I wish wish wish that this wouldn't hold me back because it's ruining my life. How can I move on?

3 Replies

  • Hello

    I just answered your last post so to add on after I have read this one to the last one because you seem to have some ocd here , afraid of germs , keeping things clean etc could be another reason you get colds as rather than protecting ourselves as we feel we are doing we are making our immune systems so low that because there are germs everywhere and it is impoosible never to come into contact with any but the moment we do we catch them quicker as well as are immune systems been so low so takes us longer to fight the virus's of than a person that is used to allowing themselves to come in contact with germs

    But reading your post here you are not stupid at all , something caused you great fear some years ago and you did not know how to deal with it so the fear grew and so did the anxiety and so did the traits you picked up that you thought would help protect you from this what you saw as a nightmare ever happening again

    Sometimes we have to challenge these fears

    For instance ....I know it was dreadful and you felt rotten when you was ill but you did get over the illness ? So in a way that is positive you recovered from the illness

    The chances of you getting anything like that again are very slim but if you did you would recover again

    Someone is sick on you are nearby you ....what is the worse that could happen ?

    It would be unpleasant , it might make you feel a little yuk but you could wash it away and nothing bad will happen to you , like life threatening

    This may not make much sense & I know when it is out fear it is not as easy as someone else saying it for you to do it but it is about changing are thinking pattern that can help us get our life's back , takes some work and practice but we can overcome it

    Have you spoken to your Doctor about this , some therapy would really benefit you and help you to move on

    Take Care x

  • Good afternoon, I am sure you will get past this. The subconscious mind is a great protector and is keeping you safe. What seems to have happened is that when you were ill, your mind went into a high anxiety state which put you into "panic Mode" Interestingly you stated that you associate the nights with the panic- the mind works by association , connecting one thing with another as an automatic reaction. Consciously you can`t control this, as it`s in your inner thoughts- the emotions held in the subconscious always over rules the logic of the conscious mind.

    It is along the same lines of a fear or phobia, as now your mind is programmed to avoid any future situations, so is just doing it`s job. Hypnotherapy can help, as under hypnosis, those inner thoughts that drive you to react can then be changed to where you were before that event happened. This may help-

    I use a simple therapy, where you rewind the event in your mind ( under supervision of course ) and this dissolves that emotion that drives the high anxiety.

    kind regards Linda

  • Sounds terrible, i'm sorry. Have you gone to or thought about going to therapy? I think it would help you.


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