I can't handle this anymore, I feel like killing myself over this.

Everything around me looks different.Its kind of hard to explain on what's happening to me.I feel like I am going crazy.When I am walking somewhere or doing something, I can't feel myself controlling my actions.My body feels numb, I mean I can still feel things but it just feels numb.I have been zoning out a lot, and forgetting where I am at.When I touch my face or arm, it doesn't feel like I am touching myself. When I look into a mirror, it doesn't look like me.It feels like I am stuck in my body, like I am stranger to my body.It is worse when I wake up, I wake up completely panicking becaus I feel so detatched from my body, it doesn't feel like like my body.I had some experience when I just woke up and I had an out of body experience.When I am doing something or walking somewhere I kind of black out, like forget where Im at.I'm always getting pressure in my head.I keep closing my eyes a lot because my eyelids feel heavy.I get brain food.It just everything looks weird, like something is off.It gets worse when I am in like orange lighting or bright light.I don't feel in control of my body, I feel like a zombie.I don't feel aware of my surroundings I feel not consciousnesses.I am scared I going to wake up one day and forget who I am.I feel like Im just a pair of eyes.I feel like time is going fast.I am scared to take any medication for headaches etc or go somewhere or do anything because I feel like it will make it worse.I feel like I am literally going crazy, everything just seem so unreal.I also get thought about questioning about life.Feels like I am watching my life from a different perspective, feeling as if I am not taking part in it.It happens everyday,it worse when I am panicking but when I am cal I still get those symptoms.I feel tired all the time.It just feels like I am high all the time.It is non stop.And when I am talkimg or eatig something it doesnt feel like I am doing those things.I have thoughts about how it will never end, and that scares me, how I won't go back to feeling normal, and how theres nothing wrong with me and I am just going just stresses me out, and I don'tkknow what to do.

I need help please.

I though it could be another symptom to pituirary gland tumor I have because I was getting a bunch of other symptoms but my neruosergeon said my symptoms aren't part of the tumor since there isn't anything wrong with my hormones.

I also been dealing with anxiety, could it just be anxiety, my mom says it probably my anxiety and the stress, or could it be that I go to bed really late at 5 or 6 in the morning and waking up at 2 or 4 in the afternoon. I don't what do you guys think?Please someone help me, I feel suicidal and just ending everything.


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20 Replies

  • Firstly, take a big deep breath. What you are experiencing is called Depersonalization. It is not a tumor symptom. This is caused usually by stress (but can also be caused by depression, medication, sleep deprivation, etc.) but considering your level of panic, my guess is stress. Depersonalization (DP) occurs when your mind is overwhelmed and cannot process the level of stress, so it....switches on autopilot to protect you. It is a protection mechanism. I know what you mean of you feel like you're a stranger in your body, disoriented, feel foreign, the world looks 2D to some, I understand.

    The second thing I'm going to tell you, and I'll bold it, is that it's NOT DANGEROUS. It scares the heck out of you and may send you googling, but I'm telling you what the brain does due to stress and this is how some people react. How to lessen the feeling is to NOT panic over it. I know, that's very very hard, but it is ACCEPTING this as being no big deal that gets you out of it. So, start out small; go into a gas station; buy something. Leave and tell yourself you did that. Don't tell yourself you can't do it because of this feeling. I've been there, still am a little, but I no longer panic over it because after a HOURS of research and panic and reading and googling, all come to the same verdict on how to overcome it:

    Don't panic.

    I've read articles and a book and personal experiences and all of them boil down to that one decision of acceptance that will make it go away. It won't go away instantly. It may take days or weeks or months, so if you start worrying again if it's still there in a week, don't panic. I've had this twenty four seven for a year and I'm still fine.

    So keyppints because sometimes it helps to reiterate: this sensation is NOT dangerous, it's just scary. It's actually your brain telling you it needs a break. It's not fun and it feels awful (I know), but it won't conclude in your worst fears.

    PLEASE feel free to message me. I know exactly how it feels and I've done a lot of research on this sensation so feel free to talk to me. But try to contain your panic; as your panic is what keeps it alive.

  • THANK THANK YOU SO MUCH!What you said helped me alot, thank you!And yes I'll message you sometime, thank you again!

  • No problem! I've been there so I know how scary it can be.

  • Please, message me, when u have free tims, i will be very pleased and appretiated.

  • Thank you i an 29 years old i have depression i have a family i just started working at dunkin donuts 3 months ago i keeps noticing these symthoms getting stronger and stronger everyday if feels like i am high. Ive always had this to some extent but its so strong now and the tingeling and shit is severe. Iys getting so bad people keep asking me if im okay and i snap back to reality for a min. Its really hard i dont know what to do because i cant run around on autopilot all day im full time and its seriously affecying my job but at least i know it bot dangerous

  • I'm thirteen and I have it too it's killing me but stay strong it goes away it's called depersonlization look it up... If it gets worse go to your docter

  • Hi there, I'm sorry to hear your having such a hard time. I felt like that for a few days after I had my first panic attack in March this year. It was severe. I was terrified. Never knew what was happening. Have you seen a doctor? That would help. Sooner rather than later.

    How long has this been happening? Was there anything in life that happened to you to get you so anxious? You can message me anytime if you need someone to talk too x

    I also think you need to fix your sleeping pattern up to be more normal. N let family support you x

  • I have seen a started ever since February 14 of this year.I always had anxiety, I have been bullied a lot when I was kid.I got a huge panic attack on febuary 14.But I think it got worse ever since I found out I had a pituitary tumor, I just been stressing about that, and the symptoms and just school, and family (I live with seven people so it gets hectic lol)

  • I'm the same, always had anxiety but never had an attack til march this year. Really changed me. I feel like I can't trust or be comfortable with my mind. Sometimes having plenty people around is a good way to distract yourself. I miss having lots of ppl around. It's hard with anxiety on your own at times.

  • Thanks!

  • I got stressed over testicle issues and soon to find out nothing was wrong... Fuck this shit I don't even let it bother me fuck it... Did the docter give u medication cause when I go next week I hope he gets me medication or some stress reliver

  • Nopemy doc didn't give me medication

  • Please help me im 24 and i feel that situation 3 years ago until now it starts with a pressure and to much thinking of anything and then after that i can't even sleep 2 days until my vision is going like floating or something weird and the way i breathe is changing and sometimes i cant breath when i go to someplaces i feel that i colapse or i get panic and it worsen everyday and i dunno what to do now

  • hey i don't know if you are in this site any more or not if you are and and can see this then please do reply how you are feeling now , i also have same problem its been like 5 or 6 years and it used to come and go then but now days its like almost every day so please do reply and if you are well then please do reply and all the symptoms you have are also same with me too ... please do reply and anyone please help me .... i don't know what to do I've visited a doc he said it is anxiety and gave medicines, i didn't took them i was afraid that those pills will make situation more bad i don't know why i did that please help please please

  • Hi ashokkarki, what are you actually feeling that bothers you the most every day?

  • i don't know what is going on ... i cant figure out any thing at all --- it makes me loose my mind --

  • Sorry, I just saw your newer post. I'm reading it now and will respond..

  • please thank you ...

  • Hi ashokkarki, what you are describing sounds like severe anxiety. Possibly something going on or that has happened more recently to take the anxiety up a notch? Seeing your doctor was a first step but if you are afraid to take the medication he prescribed, there is not much else he can do. It sounds like you need a little meds to help stabilize the anxiety right now as well as some short term therapy in order to get to the root of the extreme anxiety.

    I have always felt that anxiety doesn't appear out of nowhere or doesn't get worse unless something prompts it to be that way. Medication will not make you feel any worse than you are already feeling. You need that crutch right now.

    The feeling of being unreal and just going through the motions is very common w/anxiety. As it is not addressed, the fear of fear starts growing until you feel so completely out of touch, out of control that you can't imagine living another day like this.

    It can be turned around..small steps need to be taken. Right now you are stuck. You need to take the first step going forward. There are many options out there in getting better, giving up or ending it all is not an option.

  • Hello Dada..

    Me too is suffering from same problem, i feel like i am in dream world, when i touch mysf i feel i m not there, Feel lots of dizziness..Please malai whatsapp garnu la.. lots of to share..


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