Been a while

Hi, it's been a long time since I've been on but, unfortunately, things are back with a bang. I've had a few major family issues to deal with which increased my stress no end. I was coping really well until we had 3 close family members, including my Dad pass away. Then mum gets diagnosed with bowel cancer. Talk about being hit for 6 and all of this over a 5 month period. I've been juggling looking after mum, family and work but I finally cracked last weekend. My vision seemed to go strange whilst watching TV, then whilst out driving, I had the first panic attack for nearly 18 months. I managed to calm myself quite quickly using the techniques I'd learned about but all the old feelings have now returned. The trouble is that they have been increased after seeing my GP. I thought I'd be able to cope but she wants me to have a scan to make sure I've not had a TIA. Whilst it will, hopefully, reassure me that everything is ok, I'm now overly stressed worrying what the scan might find. I can't get these thoughts out of my head though. I'm currently on 10mg of Citalopram, which I know is low but I was managing happily until last week. Now I feel awful most of the time with constant neck pain - though GP reckons this is muscular. So scan next week, then 4 weeks before I get results. Will try all the techniques I've used before, but the stress I'm having now is 100% worse than when I first succumbed to this 18 months ago. Any help and advice gratefully received. Was thinking of upping my meds to 20mg - any thoughts on that as GP thought it might be worth doing but I initially said no as I didn't want an side effects on increasing it. I remember what it was like when I started on them! Thanks for listening, had to off load somewhere.

6 Replies

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  • Wow, I'm so sorry! That's a lot!! I can somewhat relate...I had overcome my anxiety issue then in the last year, I had so much hit me that it took me back to anxiety and it has been much worse this go around. Your GP is probably doing the scan just to assure you that there is nothing wrong. Doctors pick up VERY easily when someone has an anxiety issue. I've grown up and have worked in medical fields and I know how they look for that. Blurry vision is normal for anxiety. I've had it today even and found myself worrying about it. You are one strong puppy to handle all of that as gracefully as you have! And you will be just fine! It is only a season and I don't know what your faith is but I know that God has a plan and is in control. :) Don't worry for the month it takes for the test results to come back...like I said, it is just a precautionary measure used to really reassure you. Everytime a patient comes in with anxiety symptoms, it is general practice to first check and ensure nothing else is going on. As for the medicine, I personally wouldn't up it dose--those side effects just aren't worth it. Counseling would probably benefit you the most. Because it teaches you how to deal with the situations and how you process your thoughts. I speak from experience lol. Hang in there, it will get better! :)

    Misty

  • Thanks Misty. I understand the reasons my GP has done what she has. Luckily I've a good relationship with her as she has had our problems also, so she knows first hand what we're going through. I've been to CBT sessions so I know what I "should" be doing but it's just the amount of stress that's on at the minute. As you say, I'm sure the scan will be ok but now I've got to deal with not being able to drive for 4 weeks as well whilst the results come back. I've not told my mum what's going on but she'll figure something's a miss when I can't do the thing I do for her as she lives about 8 mikes away. Just letting of steam has helped and I'll just have to get through it. Luckily I have a wonderful family and they'll help but I'm worried about them worrying about me!! Hopefully I'll be stronger in the long run, and if I can help someone else, then that's reason enought to get through it. Unfortunately after everything that's happend, my trust in faith is in short supply. So much so that I had a rant about him a few weeks ago when mum had more bad news. I'm sure he'll forgive me. God bless and thanks

  • Oh yeah, it's definitely all the stress. And I forgot about the driving part. Bless your heart!! It always helps to let off steam. Don't worry about your family worry about you! Family is supposed to help each other and it sounds like you have a great family surrounding you. I can understand how going through all that can hurt someone's faith. You wonder why and many other things. We can't always understand why bad things happen to us. We are only human. I find comfort in knowing that all things happen for a reason. Of course God will forgive you! Stay strong and keep powering through. Take care. :)

  • Thanks again, take care

  • MrAnxious,

    I'm so sorry for your loss. My prayers go out to you and your family. I had a similar experience this year. I lost my cousin in January, I lost another cousin in march, and I lost my grandmother in June. My anxiety, panic and depression came back full force. Keep fighting and praying my friend, that's all that we can do. Blessings to you!

  • Thanks for your kind words. Much appreciated. So sorry for your losses also.

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