Anxiety is consuming me

So, I have been having extremely severe anxiety ever since my first panic attack two months ago. This occurred after I'd overworked my body while at that time of month with eating very little. I'm not anorexic, it was just I forgot to eat and had two birthdays and a dance that week.

Anyway, on Monday, my family and I went to a house for a vacation. I'm agoraphobic, so this took a lot of effort. While up there, I was in constant panic mode. Constant. Fearful all the time. Stressed beyond belief. Not sleeping. Not eating much. While also at that time of my month. I'd jolt awake, crying all the time. So much crying, I'm shocked I'm able to still produce tears. I'm stressing my mom out and my faith has reached its limit.

Anyway, one night up there, when I was thinking about my throat while watching tv, I got worried about gagging. I have never gagged before, this was after reading a post online. I have a major fear of getting sick. So, I started to feel this heat in my ears accompanied by a sick feeling in my throat. Well, I ate some bread and went to sleep and it went away. Next morning, I was thinking about the hot/tickly feeling and it came back. I am not obese. I don't drink. I don't eat heavy meals. I do drink baking soda and water since it is a hydrant and it also reduces acid. Ironically.

I thought that perhaps this was GERD, since the stomach gets stressed due to anxiety and it causes digestive problems and stuff and my brother (who is a nurse) assured me that it probably wouldn't make me sick; I'd get antacids and it should be fine.

Then I did the stupid thing and checked that out online and when I read people got sick, boy, did that scare me. I looked up symptoms which said feeling nauseated after eating.

And later that night, I felt nauseated. I drank some of my trusty baking soda and went to bed. The feeling doesn't worsen when I lie down or anything. I went to bed at around 2 and woke up at 7 with intervals in between. This was on top of a lot of exercise.

Then, after I ate in the morning, I felt awful. I thought I had the flu. Shaky, chilled, achy, nauseous, etc. I thought there had to be something wrong with me! This had to be GERD!

Anyway, I didn't get sick. The feeling subsided. I don't have heart burn. I don't have chest pains. I don't belch. I just have that random hot sensation in my throat that comes and goes and intervals of feeling sick in my throat.

I can't function anymore. I've reached my limit. I can't worry anymore. My vacation with my family was so stressful, I'd having attacks that lasted for hours, of me feeling like I'd fall down a hole or completely lose it. My depersonalization is off the charts and I've only gone to the doctor's once for blood work and such. I focus on me all day and can sometimes research symptoms for hours and not even realize it.

I'm going to the doc's again next week but really need reassurance ASAP.

PLEASE, can someone give me advice?

I also feel dizzy, which I attribute to not eating. Also, the days seem to pass super fast!

When I went to the doctor's a month ago, I was just suffering from derealization, dizziness, and brain fog. I had blood work, thyroid, urine, and blood sugar done. Could something new have developed within that time frame? I just feel so awful, like I constantly need to go to the ER.

[91cat]

Hey, I just want to reassure you everything will be ok. Anxiety is in your mind therefore you're in control of your thoughts. You can control this. It's totally possible.

The doctors will probably give you something for your GERD if that's what it is, but your mind is more powerful than you may think. Your mind can create so many feelings and worries that aren't even there. Tell yourself you're okay, it always goes away. You won't have it forever.

A few tricks for anxiety is to blow on your thumb, this sends a message to your heart to calm down, making your mind say your okay.

Also I would suggest chamomile tea. I use this, don't put creamer or sugar, I guess you could but I usually try to drink it as is with a few drops of honey before I go to bed.

And if you can try to go on walks with your pet or something, fresh air can for sure help your body relax. Just walking out your feelings.

And a hot bath sometimes really helps me.

I too have a fear of gagging and feeling sick, you're not alone. It's called Emetophobia. Quite common actually. It causes me to feel sick after I've eaten something sweet or just for no reason at all.

Just let yourself know you are okay. You will get better. Talk to friends, or your parents, siblings.. Just talking can make you feel so much better.

But you will be okay. I'm sorry. Unfortunately almost every human being has some kind of anxiety in they're lifetime. It's pretty much impossible to have your whole life and not have one anxiety attack.

You're gonna feel better, trust me.

-91cat

[Hidden in reply to 91cat]

I just dont know how i could have acquired it! It feels likethe heat mighy be coming from my ears, i cant tell, it doesnt bun, though, just feels warm, like i just drank tea. I am scared ill wake up and be really sick, though the warmth was less frequent today and i dont have thatfeeling in mythroat ever since i stopped thinking about it. I had a lump in my throat a month ago, but it went away when i stopped thinking about it.

Does that mean its serious?

Ugh, i dont even eat spicy foods! I dont eat huge meals. I dont lie down after i eat and exercise frequently. Ita not really uncomfortable, just weird. Can anxiety cause this? Would that make it only temporary?

I felt awful this morning, practically ready to die. I told God, hey, if im supposed to die, okay then. When i ddnt, i read my bible, put on some worship music and decided id take a bath. Im scated to take baths since im afraid ill pass out and drown. But i did it. And fr the first time in weeks, i wasnt afraid! I went up to meet my sisters boyfriend and i felt calm. Im just scared this is GERD. Do they have to shove a camera down my throag or can i just tell a doctor how i feel?

I take baking soda, which is an antacid, but if i still have the feeling sometimes, does that mean this is serious? Maybe its coming from my ears?

[Mysteryreader in reply to Hidden]

You sound very low at the moment. Have you been to talk to your doctor about how you are feeling to try and get some help. You mentioned not being afraid while having a bath this is a positive. Do you think you managed to relax? I find reading and going out helps with my anxiety. I appreciate that the latter is hard with your agrophobia but you need to find what works for you.

Hope you are having a calm weekend.

MR

[Hidden in reply to Mysteryreader]

The thing is, i dont have a gp. It used to be my grandpa but hes no longer licensed. I got blood work, urine, blood sugar, and thyroid done a month ago and all were fine. Doctor said there was just one thing that showed some anxiety.

I had a good night last night, but now im back in panic mode.