anxious

hi. spent wk end with my ex and was ok most of the time. still had weepy and overwhelmed times, we were invited to his daughters house warming. it went ok tho.

I want to go back, but he is such a horder and house needs a good clean. his hording got me down in the past, every cupboard and draw is full of stuff he will probably never use.

any help on how I can deal with this. we never seam to talk about important matters unless I bring them up.

he mentions small things I can change and talks as tho I am back there full time. feeling anxious and confused. where do I go from here!

am never sure how to make my post - who exactly is everyone - is it safer to only post to this community?

4 Replies

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  • Hi & Welcome

    Anxiety support is for anyone with anxiety or anxiety related problems , we don't always have all the answers but we are quite good at listening :-)

    You are safe to post on this community , there are also a variety of communities on HU if you look through the directory & you can join as many as you want that you may feel might help you

    To keep your post private when you are posting as you scroll down it will give you two options , one will be For everyone , which if you select this option it will mean that not just members on Anxiety support but members on all the other HU forums will be able to read your post & also any replies you get & see your user name

    The other option is For members only , if you select this option only members that belong to Anxiety Support can read your post & any replies you get , I do opt for this option myself when doing a post but it is a personal choice :-)

    I can see where your dilemma may be , it must be very difficult to be with someone with a hoarding problem

    I know you say he doesn't talk about serious issues unless you bring them up but I do think most men can be like that

    Does he admit he has a problem , is he willing to get help or let you support him ?

    I think you need to bring this issue up with him & see how much he is willing to change

    Then write a list maybe , one side the benefits of been with him again & on the other list the downfalls of been with him again , usually when you look at what you have written one will outweigh the other & then I find that can be my answer

    Love

    whywhy

    xxx

  • thank you your reply was really helpful on both areas. especially the list x

  • Hi and welcome :-) oh my mother is a hoarder eeek she keeps all kinda of rubbish ...I once cleaned out her food cupboards in lets say 2000 and found tinned fruit and soups from 1989 ha ha ha I go round once in a while and empty old stuff out and always check best by dates ...newspapers is another ....as for your dilemma ....maybe speak to him and suggest a good clear out and if that's the only reason for not going back tell him? Hope that gave you a giggle about the food....by the way her freezer was just as bad yuck

  • yes I keep trying to talk but think I find it hard as I left! hope we can eventually work it out. thanks x

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