I know this can be serious. But I have very little money, I can't bring myself to get a job and I am slowly failing my second year of uni due to depression anxiety and other complex symptoms. My priorities seem all wrong.
I am so scared I'm going to lose someone that is clearly bad for me anyway. It's always there in the back of my mind and I'm actually dreading seeing my boyfriend again for fear he will break up with me.
I know there's sort of 2 problems here (my priorities/attachment and the anxiety).
But is there anything I can take over the counter for anxiety? Or anything I can ask the doc for? I can't sleep, I am trying to diet, but failing miserably. Every time I see happy couples I feel so sad because it makes me realise that if I want that I have to let my current boyfriend go. But at the same time I'm terrified to lose him.
I'm fed up of feeling like a child. I want to grow up and at least have anxieties that will drive me to improve my lifestyle, have ambitions etc. But all I seem worried about is my love life, which is doing, well, not much for me at the moment - making my depression and anxiety, paranoia, voices, violent thoughts etc, worse.
Anyone been in this position or have any advice? My GP isn't very helpful I have a counsellor appointment on the 13th - counting down the days but it's been a rough couple of months. I guess I am asking for advice. But I find writing it down and getting it out there gets it off my chest a bit.
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Sapphire3
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I think that change is scary. No matter who you are. The thought of what we have known and are comfortable with possibly changing will cause anxiety for a lot of people (including me!) Please PLEASE do know that no matter what happens, whether things work out or you do break up that the anxiety will not get the best of you. It WILL get better. When things like this happen in our lives we tend to think that the feelings of depression and anxiety over the situation will never end. They do end. Do not try to fight your anxiety, just let it come and literally tell your anxiety "you cannot hurt me, you have no power over me".
If you know that this relationship is bad for you and it is causing you anxiety before it has even ended, then you may need to do what is best for you. Lean on people you are close with for support. Dont be afraid to reach out to friends and family, you may be surprised how many of them understand and may have good advice.
As far as over the counter stuff there are lots of herbal things you can take. I would NEVER EVER recommend taking prescription meds personally. That was an aweful experience and I will never do it again. I feel that even when I bought lots of anxiety remedy herbs, the only sure way I work through it is it just let it happen, let the anxiety come and know that it will pass.
This time in your life will pass, this hurt and depression you feel will go away. You will one day soon look back and wish you could tell your present self to just take a deep breath and trust that things work itself out. Focus on you.
Hiya, thank you for replying. I see what you're saying about the the pain passing after the breakup. I think in many ways the fear of it is a lot worse than the process of breaking up would be as a whole. The only really bad bit is the actual breaking up part - with me having really intense emotions anyway, even the thought of it is too painful to bare. Also the fear of whether I'm doing the right thing will be overwhelming. But once I get through the initial pain in the act of breaking up, I think getting my life back together will actually be a lot easier than it is now. I'm finding that trying to suppress anxiety means it stays there, where if I try just letting it go next time I might get a break from it for a while. Again thank you so much for replying.
I dated a guy for 2 years about five years ago and I just knew something wasnt working and he wasnt right for me. As much as i "loved" him, I knew the fate of the relationship. The thought of breaking up (especially if I was the one who would have to end up doing it) cause me SO much anxiety it was debilitating. This was before I knew how to remotely cope with anxiety and before I really even knew what anxiety was. Let me tell you though, that yes yes yes, it is simply the anticipation of the emotions you think you will feel that cause anxiety. It will never be as bad as you think it will be. Tell your depression and anxiety that you are a bad ass bitch and your anxiety cannot control you! Really, even if you say it out loud to yourself it kinda feels good! Lol
You will be ok and you will overcome this. you always have people here who understand and you are NOT alone.
Haha, I like that attitude, when I feel the anxiety or depression are overwhelming me I'll definitely say it! - Although that is quite a lot recently, so my housemates will probably be like "ok... we get it, you're a bad ass bitch." Haha, sometimes, when I feel good I am really in the mood to beat my depression and anxiety, so hopefully I can harness that and hold onto it, instead of inevitably getting down again like I usually do. Thank you for your advice, it's good to hear other people with similar stories - reminds me I am not an unwelcome alien in the world - which is what it feels like sometimes when I feel really isolated!
Hello Sapphire,
Sorry your feeling like this,
I got out of a 9 yr relationship a couple of months ago, had been with him since I wAs 15, change is scary not so much the breakup if you really put it into perspective people are actually afraid of change, and you know it, you said he's bad news right? That's your mind trying to stay with that person because you are used to him.
What I did was think of all the bad things he did and played them over and over and it made me think "I was MISERABLE! Why did I stick around all those years!" Life is too short to be crying for 1 person,
Life is too short to mope around that the uni is too hard, that's why most places offer study groups so you can help each other out and get on with life,
Lately I focus on what's happening on the now this instant and it makes me feel whole.
Distract yourself laugh, there are studies showing that laughing gets you out of the depression mode, do anything tell the day of your appointment, and see what happens.
He has become your comfort zone when you are with him and you are scared of losing him. I remember that awful feeling.
I lost the guy I still love a month ago and although I miss him at times I am doing so much better than I thought I would. I still have the odd dark thought and have almost given up on finding love. But it is out there for everyone, I do believe that. It's just sooo damn hard to find that person, it's exhausting!
He made my anxiety so much worse and being away from him is a relief for that reason. He became unreliable and I was terrified he would leave me, and I wouldn't know if he was going to show up on time or be late and it sent my head reeling!
We shouldn't have to go through that, Huni. A boyfriend is supposed to help us through the hard times, not make the hard times even harder!
There will be a reason why you are anxious about him. There will be something he is doing or saying or something in your sub-conscious telling you he isn't right for you and hanging on to him is making your anxiety worse.
I'm not saying you have to leave him, you will do that when you are ready. But it may be an idea to spend a bit less time with him and see if that makes a difference to your anxiety? I saw my ex every day and when I couldn't see him I got anxious and angry because it was outwith the normal routine.
Hey. I feel your pain. It won't last forever though I promise For anxiety sufferers (like me), I realized that sometimes the answer to the cure for your anxiety is too clear and obvious for you to think it is true. In a way, anxiety is your body's defense mechanism that forces you to cope with the things you want the most in life. Your not going to believe me right away when I say this but the cure to your anxiety is facing your fears. The moment you start doing that is the moment your anxiety will disappear and you feel not only normal, but on top of the world. Please avoid taking medication... It may help temporarily, but the best and most permanent way of getting rid of this temporarily feeling is facing your fears. You will feel free. You can do this. Make a big leap now and everything will get better.
Oh, and if your boyfriend treats you poorly, please break up with him. There are so many men that can make you happy out there, which could also probably help solve your financial problem. Face your personal problems and the world will become your friend, not your enemy
I can totally relate to you. I have anxiety and depression, my dr gave my klonopin because it lasts longer in your system and just calms me down, I also have a fixation on my love life always have and I just had a panic attack and moved out of my bfs apt bec I was not happy and he clearly was using me for sex and I felt no love and he was not affectionate. My advise is to speak with your counsellor and see if there are ways of coping. I see mine on wed. She has told me to write a list of things that are good qualities and read them each day. Also says to exercise which helps with anxiety and depression. I really do feel better after I exercise, I'm going through this breakup now and it is not easy. I don't want to let go I keep running back but then he sees I'm vulnerable and will take advantage. try to continue writing on here I've been and it helps. I'm still trying to find ways of coping and not being so worried about finding someone I think we need to love ourselves first and take good care of ourselves before we can be with someone. I just lost my job on top of it all, I wanted to go and get my hair done and start making me feel better but that just added to my mess. Take care of you xoxo Toni
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I have a counsellor appointment on the 13th - counting down the days but it's been a rough couple of months. I guess I am asking for advice. But I find writing it down and getting it out there gets it off my chest a bit.
Help with my anxiety!:(
I feel like giving up....
Will I ever feel normal again I feel like I'm going crazy
I feel like i've gone CRAZY!!!
