Yes I am New Here

[Atenns2]

I am 52 years. Was referred to see a Psychiatrist when I was in my late 20s. The Psychiatrist was incoherent & I stopped after several fruitless sessions. Then again in my late 30s I was referred to a Psychiatrist. Coming from a third world community where healthcare & the coordination of it is poor, it is only in 2012 after I saw a Clinical Psychologist did I realize that what I had been suffering is panic attacks, anxiety, depression or a their combination. Not knowing what was happening to me for such a long time felt like hell, fear and torment. Still I doubt if it is any less now that I know more about it now. I used to be of strong Christian faith & always had hope in God but now I pray & go to church after huge effort. I feel like I am at disfavor with God but God says He will never leave nor forsake us. My wife of 15 years doesn't understand what I am going through so she is indifferent. Sometimes she is harsh when I am in my desolate mood of sorrow, withdrawal & anger which makes me feel worse at such times. I make female friends who help me feel better but then I start to feel guilty for being married & making a girlfriend. I can't tell my story in one day but I am just miserable & sometimes wonder why I am alive. I wonder why God didn't take my life when I had not descended to this level. I have a job currently and still manage to practice business Consulting on the side & wonder that generally people see me as normal but deep inside I feel dead. I have kids & wish to live for them. I am seeing a Clinical Psychologist & Psychiatrist but they don't help much. The medication-(Tryptizol) feels terrible & the Psychologist seems limited!!. recently I am also speaking with a Devout Christian faithful. Am doing all I can to beat what I am facing. Some days are better but some seem to be only just better than dead.. I am glad I found this forum. Just any helpful advice, guide, comment of good intention will be appreciated. Thank you everyone for your time.

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Hello Tenns,

Welcome to Anxiety support.

[Atenns2 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Mike

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hello Tenns.. I have just read your post and would just like to say Welcome to you. Like many, many other folks on this site I endure the problems posed by anxiety and panic but like many others am at the beginning stages of learning about it. CBT seems a helpful form of counselling but does require a firm commitment to change, lots of homework and acceptance that the symptoms of panic and anxiety are your body's way of coping with old stressors and fears, a lifetime of negative thought patterns, beliefs and habitual reactions to problems. It can get better with a firm commitment from yourself and lots of work. Perhaps a food place to begin might be looking at your past and present and seeing some patterns and then learning about panic and anxiety and what symptoms it can cause? Your Church might be able to help with some of the issues you raised in the form of some Christian counselling where, eventually, your wife might benefit too? It is difficult seeing specialists from different countries but the NHS do employ many folk from different cultures, however, if you have difficulties with a particular person perhaps your GP can re-refer? Lots to think about. I hope you find the way forward soon. Life is short and precious...enjoy yours and perhaps find some down time to re-look at problems and re-assess them.

PD7979x

[Atenns2 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks PD

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Hi Tennis and welcome.

You'll get lots of support here,everyone is so friendly and supportive xxxx

[Atenns2 in reply to Hidden]

Encouraging. Thanks

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Hi Tennis,

Welcome to the site. xx

[Atenns2 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks

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Hi

You have had so many helpful answers already but just wanted to say hello & Welcome

Love

whywhy

xxx

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Tenns..I have just come back on line and noticed that there is a response addressed to you from myself which I am sure you might find baffling. I actually wrote to this to another new member yesterday before you joined! but it has been sent to you. I am sorry this happened as it has nothing to do with what you posted at all (that post which i have answered today). Seems to be some kind of problem. Anyway, I am sorry it was addressed to you. All I can say is that I hope your nighttimes get easier and I certainly did understand what you said in your post? Love PD7979

[Atenns2 in reply to Hidden]

Ok. Thanks PD