how can I let "what ifs" direct my life....

[neha311]

hey friends...I have been struggling with anxiety for more than two years and I have been getting better but there are certain things that still make me reluctant to do them...my friends have been making plans for a trip outside the city...about 8 hour drive..we have to leave day after tomorrow and I still haven't confirmed about me..coz all I can think of is what if I get sick..how will I handle it..what if it happens in front of them..the embarrassment..

I have been wanting to go for a trip for a long time and now I have the chance but my fear is blocking my path..I have been trying to convince myself but these thoughts won't just let go..

how should I handle it??

[Hidden]

HI Neha x think this is the first time I have replied to you so may I say Hi x Well done firstly on feeling better from your anxiety, that's a huge step x Even if there are things you still seem stuck on. I can understand you hesitating about this trip you are maybe going on, 8 hours is a long trip. Do your friends know about your anxiety? If not maybe tell them about your feelings when going on the trip and that way of you feel sick they can help and understand which takes the pressure off. If they do know, then talk to them and tell then you are a little frightened that you may become sick and would feel weird in front of them, either way Im sure they will understand and can make it so that frequent stops can be made or they can reassure you at all times to keep you well. I think going away with friends ma do you the word of good. It will if anything prove to you that you can handle the outside world with the anxiety x Sometimes when we over think things we become scared and that turns into panic, which we think will ruin the trip, but once we get going we realise it was nothing but fear x Only one way you will truly ever know if you can do it and that's to just do it x Good luck either way x Donver x

[neha311 in reply to Hidden]

thanks a lot..I too was trying to convince myself to go..I want to prove to myself that I am stronger than this..I'll definitely post what I finally chose...

[Hidden]

Hi

Donver has already given you a great reply & I cant add more but wanted to let you know I had read your post & let us know what you decide & how you go on

Remember the what if's are just that & chances are they wont happen even though our anxiety tells us they will & if they did what would be the worse outcome , I think the answer would be there wouldn't be one & your friends would rally round & support you

Take Care

Love

whywhy

xxx

[thomson1898]

HI Neha, was wondering if you've made any decisions yet?

Have you tried writing a pro's & con's list? Can help you get things in perspective sometimes. And don't forget, for every 'what if' that is bad there are loads of 'what ifs' that are good

Take care

x

[neha311]

Thanks a lot friends...I want you to know that what you wrote to me helped me a lot in taking a decision...and I can't let fear rule my life..so I m taking the plunge..a leap of faith n see what happens...I'll write to tell you how my trip was in 4 days..or may b even from there...

[thomson1898 in reply to neha311]

Well Done You! How brave

I hope you have a fabulous time & can' wait to hear about it. Don't forget, we're here if you need a helping hand

x

[neha311 in reply to thomson1898]

Thanks...n it really does mean a lot that you guys are here to advise, understand, sympathise and encourage me...

My trip till now is going great...there WERE moments which I was reminded of the anxiety. .but in those moments I was just thankful that I am able to enjoy and not being manipulated by irrational fears...

[thomson1898 in reply to neha311]

Oh thanks for letting us know how it's going, delighted for you that you're enjoying yourself Sounds like you coped with those moments really well, hope you're feeling proud of yourself

x

ps Happy New Year

[neha311 in reply to thomson1898]

happy new year...

[Hidden in reply to neha311]

Hope you really have enjoyed trip with no worries!let us know,gives us hope!

[neha311 in reply to Hidden]

hey friends...I had a wonderful time...the trip was great..I enjoyed a lot...the moment I decided I'll go and busied myself in packing, the worrying thoughts didn't bother me..n when I was with my friends I tried to concentrate on the moment n didn't give myself time to have worrying thoughts...I realised what you tell yourself really matters...your brain works upon it without you knowing...coz whenever I got time I motivated myself..n thought positive...n it worked...

[thomson1898 in reply to neha311]

Well Done, I'm so pleased for you. Hope this will be the first of many trips now you know you can do it

x

[neha311 in reply to thomson1898]

thank you...