My wife has gone to work I'm now at home I will pick her up at 9:30 feel guilty I feel it's not fair on my wife

[Bigguy]

When I was there tonight at work I was having anxioty meeting people it made me feel off balance so what is avoidance and what is being kind to myself I think in this case this is being kind to myself this is what I struggle with more than anything when to stop when to carry on and sometimes I'm not able to stop because of transport etc

[Hidden]

Hi Stu

Give it time things will get easier ,you need to look after you at the moment & I am sure our wife wants that to

Listen to your body when it needs a rest because our heads will tell us to keep going no matter what !

Remember you wife is helping you & going to work because she loves you & if ever you had to you would do the same for her & she know's that

Love

whywhy

xxx

[Bigguy]

Ok your a good mate thanks x

[Hidden]

Being kind to yourself is where you accept that you have anxiety and don't beat yourself up for having it. I am terrible at being kind to myself, my counsellor kept telling me off for being really hard on myself! Xx

[Frantastic555]

Keep being kind to yourself Bigguy and you will get better. I am trying to be kind to myself too

Frantastic

[Bigguy]

Thanks to all what an amassing site this is xxxxxxxx

[Jeffju]

I think we all have very high expectations of ourselves which is probably why we are on this site.

In a book I have a psychiatrist says he doesn't ask people their personalities because they all basically have some or all of these traits:-

(moral) strength strong conscience

reliability strong sense of responsibility

diligence A tendency to focus on the needs of others before one's own

sensitivity vulnerability to criticism

Self-esteem dependent on the evaluation of others.

So, I wonder if you can identify with some of these? Which is why we need to be kind to ourselves and not expect too much. It's hard to recognise achievement and give ourselves a pat on the back but we need to do it more often.

Be kind to yourself, Bigguy, and know your wife does what she does because she loves you. Love Julie xx