Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

I've been suffering depression for a few years now and I've recently gone back to the doctors to ask for more treatment which he's put me back on CBT. The reason I'm low this time is because of my job being so demanding but I've been looking forward to my holiday to see my boyfriend who lives 400 miles away, so that's been keeping me going. We've managed great so far but last week he told me he couldn't do it anymore because he misses me too much and told me not to come up despite me paying £100 on tickets.

So now I'm here 4 days later, he's not talking to me, I've not eaten for 4 days, I'm always crying, I've not got the energy to do my job properly and I keep getting thoughts I just want to die, there's too much going on in my head for me to think straight and the pain i'm in is too much. I know it gets easier I've been here before and luckily I get to start my treatment tomorrow but has anyone else been in a similar situation?

3 Replies

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  • Hello ellieb

    I am not surprised you are feeling low at the moment you must be feeling very confused & hurt

    From what you have wrote I can imagine after struggling with a job that you find demanding , which well done for doing that , but then your BF was the one thing you were looking forward to seeing has let you down !

    He seems to have sent what must seem very mixed signals & maybe he could have told you how is was feeling before you spent the money on the tickets ( is it possible to get refunded on the tickets ) you could say you had taken ill , which is the truth as depression like anxiety is an illness

    I think he sounds like he doesnt no what he wants his self here , as it may be me but if you love someone , yes it can be hard when you cant see them all the time , but seeing someone when you can is better than not seeing them at all !

    Having the CBT to go to has come at the right time & hope as well as talking on here this will help you through what seems a very trying time , but you will get through this !

    Hope you feel better soon :-)

    Love

    whywhy

    xxx

  • Yes. xx Julie xx

  • Hey there... Heartbreak and splitting up with someone is always hard, Ive been going through a breakup since march and even thought I broke it off its still hard...... My partner lived 150 miles further up north and I couldn't re-settle up there, plus his mother was a nightmare....... and he wouldn't move to me, so we split.

    Its very hard and I empathise , but everything you feel is normal!!

    Please try and eat and get all your mates around to help you!!

    Please take care xx

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